Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Tetris DS review (DS) Reviewed on April 24, 2006 Did you ever have a friend that you would sit down and play Tetris with and they absolutely sucked at it? No matter what they did, no matter how far they leaned over on the edge of their chair and concentrated, you were still better than them? Well, I was that friend to someone, somewhere. I suck at Tetris. My friends and I play Tetris drunk against each other and even when they’re drunk, I still get totally trounced every single time. I’ll occasionally win a round when they...
	Samurai Champloo: Sidetracked review (PS2) Reviewed on April 23, 2006 Despite all the silliness surrounding it, the core gameplay is both intuitive and smooth. At its heart, Sidetracked is a single-player hack-and-slash, most similar to a fully-3D Golden Axe. Like the classic old-school brawlers, levels are straightforward, there's a lot of button-mashing, and the enemies are repetitive. Fortunately, the game's always free-flowing and fast-paced. There's never any dead space... wherever you walk, enemies will follow, and those enemies must be ELIMINATED!
	The Silent Hill Experience review (PSP) Reviewed on April 23, 2006 The Silent Hill Experience, while at heart no more than an expanded set of bonus features like you might find on an especially cool DVD release, is unnerving to an extreme. Instead of vibrant arrows and slick menus, you’ll sample the various goods the disc offers by stumbling through a building stained by rust and made of bricks covered in dry, coppery blood.
	Donkey Kong Country review (SNES) Reviewed on April 22, 2006 In 1994, Nintendo was in a bit of a pickle. The SNES was starting to be outmatched. 3DO, Jaguar, and now this newfangled "Sega 32X", with the Saturn and PlayStation due next year! And the N64 was still a ways off! How could Nintendo possibly compete with these flurry of formidable 32-bit consoles? (Actually, four of those five "competitors" barely managed to let a fart out before their hasty death, but hey, hindsight is 20/20.) Well, Nintendo struck a deal with Silicon Graphics (the premier CGI ...
	Hummer Badlands review (XBX) Reviewed on April 22, 2006 It’s not difficult to rush to the front of the pack, but the first curve you round will drop you back into the rear as your opponents navigate each turn with a professional combination of steering and acceleration that will leave even the best players green with envy. Even if you manage to build up a significant lead—say, half a lap—fumbling your way through one corner is enough to put you in fourth place.
	Full Auto review (X360) Reviewed on April 21, 2006 I love explosions. Explosions are one of the best things to come out of the 80s. Fuck the big hair bands; give me the explosions of Rambo and Predator and I’m satisfied. And that my friend is what Full Auto gives us. Explosions abound in Full Auto. It’s the whole point of the game. You strap yourself into the seat of some generic vehicle that’s completely loaded with guns and mines and grenades and all sorts of other weapons, and then you take to streets and blow the ...
	Monster Party review (NES) Reviewed on April 21, 2006 Most disturbing of all, the head of an Egyptian pharaoh greeted me with the gleeful exclamation, “OH BOY! MARK SOUP!” Trust me....when you knock on a stranger’s door, that is NOT what you want to hear.
	Harvest Moon: Magical Melody review (GCN) Reviewed on April 19, 2006 Harvest Moon: Magical Melody clearly is not for everyone. I already mentioned it, but I’ll say it again: the visuals here look like something out of Animal Crossing. I know some people who refuse to play that game primarily because it doesn’t look mature enough. They’re afraid their image will suffer or something. Well, the same applies here.
	Street Supremacy review (PSP) Reviewed on April 18, 2006 Street Supremacy isn't just average, it's average without inspiration. You might wonder what it feels like to blast down a Tokyo expressway, grinding the slick, rain speckled concrete under tyre as a blind corner sends the back-end sliding out... well, keep wondering. This isn't the game for you.
	BloodRayne 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on April 18, 2006 A sky filled in a murky red haze, as if the sky bleeds. Barren and twisted trees littering the landscape. Bodies, decapitated, eviscerated, mutilated, desecrated, and perforated, blood strewn all around. Screams in the distance, bellowing roars following them, then silence. Deep atmosphere, supreme stuff, captures the mood of a raped world.
	Nanostray review (DS) Reviewed on April 17, 2006 Nanostray definitely sets out to accomplish a number of things. As you fly your particular aircraft over expansive jungles, towering space stations, and rocky canyons, you will begin to see that the game’s developer had hoped to cater to a plethora of people. From the retro gamer who knows his classic shooters to a tee to the types of players who always love that adrenaline filled challenge, developer Shin’en knew just what they wanted.
	Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence review (PS2) Reviewed on April 16, 2006 As a guy who broke his teeth on the old-school games of past generations, I was ecstatic to learn that Konami included two Metal Gear games originally released for the eight-bit MSX computer gaming system. The first game (featuring Snake's trip to a three-building compound enticingly named "Outer Heaven") was somewhat altered for release on the NES, while the second had never before been released in America.
	Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams review (XBX) Reviewed on April 16, 2006 After I played the original "Silent Hill", I was left wondering what direction the storyline would take in its sequel. I didn't expect a direct continuation, because the elements of that storyline were so conclusive. But I did at least expect it to take place within the Silent Hill Township, and more importantly within the mythos of the first game. In that first story, a child and her father feel compelled to go to the Silent Hill resort town to resolve a preternatal past that is haunting her. T...
	Yu-Gi-Oh! Double Pack review (GBA) Reviewed on April 16, 2006 The Yu-Gi-Oh! Double Pack is a bit more engaging than the cartoon. For one thing, it's definitely more fun to play than to watch (even if the real-world rules have been drastically over-simplified). For another, even though it uses the English names (like Jonouchi Joey), the game's two stories -- adapted from the Battle City arc -- aren't as childishly censored as the cartoon. When "duelists" lose a match, they're no longer banished to a mythical Shadow Realm -- in the Double Pack, losers are chopped up by spinning buzzsaws or tied to anchors and hurled into the ocean!
	From Russia with Love review (PSP) Reviewed on April 15, 2006 You hold the “L” button and watch as the auto-aim hairs pinpoint him. Once they do, you can hold the ‘square’ button, which lets you use the analogue stick to aim with more precision. You can use this cool trick to score head shots or to fire around crates, pillars and shields your adversaries might use to aid in their defense. It conserves ammunition, but there’s a more important reason to aim manually: it’s fun!
	Condemned: Criminal Origins review (X360) Reviewed on April 15, 2006 Poor Ethan Thomas, he got screwed over big time. Upon investigating a crime scene in a rusty, broken-down building, he and two police officers discover that the killer is still in the place. Sounds like a simple job, right? I mean, it's three armed men against one, they'll have the dude pinned down by the end of the first chapter. Well, a couple of dead hobos later, he witnesses the two police men get shot by the serial killer with his own gun. Sucks, right? It gets worse. Ethan gets framed for ...
	Space Harrier II review (GEN) Reviewed on April 14, 2006 Space Harrier is not a game. Space Harrier is an idea. I can envision a programmer at Sega fiddling around with some code during his spare time and creating a functional 3D checkerboard field. Cue the proverbial light bulb.
	Resident Evil 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on April 13, 2006 The Resident Evil games never really changed that dramatically over the course of the series (up to recently). They never ventured very far beyond the boundaries of standard survival horror, even if the series had itself invented a lot of what now defines the genre. However, as the games progressed, they appeared to become more and more monotonous. There's only so many moaning zombies and skinless dogs a person can take before they begin to ask for something a little different. In the fourth gam...
	Second Sight review (PS2) Reviewed on April 12, 2006 Do you like bald men? Yes? Like men with hair? Yes? Well then a person like you must be in a bit of a dilemma over which third-person action/adventure games to invest in. Well, for all those who base their purchases on the state of the characters hair (you know who you are), Second Sight may be the game for you.
	Kingdom Hearts II review (PS2) Reviewed on April 11, 2006 Once in an extremely rare while, you’ve got exceptions. Mission Impossible II kicks the first’s ass. Aliens is arguably better than Alien. And Kingdom Hearts II is an improvement in every conceivable way.

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