Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Space Station: Silicon Valley review (N64) Reviewed on July 12, 2006 Silicon Valley doesn’t offer action, intrigue, heavy violence, or anything remotely ‘hardcore’. But it does have sheep, floating sheep, sheep with springs for feet, dogs on wheels, rats on wheels, hippos with fecal mines, rabbits with helicopter ears that crap bombs from above, huskies on skis, penguins with infinite snowballs, turtle tanks, irritable sea bass, hyenas with motorcycle bodies, and about twenty others that escape me at the moment.
	Sexy Droids review (AMIGA) Reviewed on July 11, 2006 This is a simple but engaging puzzle game for the whole family. Unless your family happens to be offended by nudity, because they’re the sort of puzzles where you gradually reveal pictures of women revealing themselves. Only instead of Penthouse Pets in the buff, you’ll be “treated” to chrome-plated gynoids posing provocatively in skimpy swimwear – and Robocop helmets.
	Point Blank DS review (DS) Reviewed on July 10, 2006 A charming and frantic game, it’s all the fun of a carnival, without the hawkers, rigged games, and petting zoo aroma. Then again, there are reasons I don’t go to carnivals anymore.
	Freelancer review (PC) Reviewed on July 10, 2006 Every modern gamer knows the story of the Xbox (and later PC) role-playing game, Fable. It was supposed to be one of the largest and most ambitious games ever released, but turned out to be a short and limiting RPG that paled in comparison to its contemporaries, namely Bioware’s KOTOR. Due to the genre’s mainstream obscurity, most gamers haven’t heard of Freelancer, which was first announced roughly five years prior to its release in 2002 (and was in development for much lon...
	The Legend of Dragoon review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2006 When Legend of Dragoon made its way onto the PSX RPG scene, Sony foolishly billed it as a Final Fantasy killer. Gathered together in angered hoards, FF fanatics lit their burning torches and waddled aggressively through the streets, rioting and looting Cheeto stores nation-wide. "This is no Final Fantasy!" some cried while others sobbed over their Sephiroth plushies; it was a dark day, but somewhere behind all the rantings and unbridled hate, a game somehow got forgotten.
	The Hobbit review (PS2) Reviewed on July 09, 2006 Bilbo Baggins, as many of us know, is a typical hobbit. He’s portly, laid-back, and perfectly content with never leaving Hobbiton. However, due to his recruitment by a wise wizard and a bunch of dwarves, Bilbo sets out on a quest where he encounters some awkward camera angles, many boring stages, and a final couple levels that hint at what could have been a much better game. So much for the epic journey I expected.
	Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day review (DS) Reviewed on July 09, 2006 Thankfully though, the smart folks at Nintendo have decided to put a patch on the problem, in the form of an intriguing little puzzle game. That game is Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!
	Guitar Hero review (PS2) Reviewed on July 08, 2006 The life of a rock star: full of money, alcohol, and all out partying. Guitar Hero may not be able to provide the fun of passing out drunk on the floor, but it certainly captures the feel of rock in a video game. With all kinds of musical tracks and one of the coolest gaming peripherals, Guitar Hero makes you feel like you’re on that stage, with thousands of screaming fans going crazy. Well, as long as you don’t look at yourself in the mirror. Anyone who is willing to fork over the extra $20 wil...
	Micro Machines V4 review (PC) Reviewed on July 08, 2006 What could have been a tightly controlling game, then, is just an exercise in frustration. You never dare approach a corner at full speed because if you do, you’re pretty much screwed. This is true of any of the hundreds and hundreds of vehicles you can add to your collection, making their inclusion cosmetic rather than useful.
	Super Mario Sunshine review (GCN) Reviewed on July 08, 2006 It took six years to come up with a sequel to Mario 64. Six years. You'd think that would be enough time to make sure they'd get it right. After all, this is the latest in Nintendo's largest and arguably most important franchise, so it certainly deserves special devotion. How, then, can we explain what happened here? How did Nintendo possibly come up with a game that is so, well, forgettable? I mean, I'm not really a fan of Mario 64. I think the concept was excellent, but the execution a ...
	Naruto: Ultimate Ninja review (PS2) Reviewed on July 07, 2006 Taken as a pure brawler, Ultimate Ninja no doubt comes up wanting. There’s only one attack button. None of the fighters have that many attacks and combos, fifteen at the most. Every characters has specific moves, and some of the hidden characters have range and power advantages, but everyone does similar damage and moves alike; master one ninja and you’ve mastered them all. Topping that all off, everyone’s either extremely weak or extremely durable; it takes a ridiculous amount of time to win relying on straight-up fighting. All the more reason to not take this as a pure brawler.
	Task Force Harrier EX review (GEN) Reviewed on July 07, 2006 After completing the bland, but inoffensive, first stage, I noticed the second looked exactly the same. As did the third. And the fourth. Yep, this game possesses 13 stages and the first four were near-identical, with my plane flying over the Siberian tundra or some similarly frozen wasteland.
	Dead Connection review (ARC) Reviewed on July 06, 2006 Don Nerozzia knows the rules. When a man stands in your way, you bribe him, blackmail him, or influence those around him to neutralize the threat. If he’s unimpeachable, then maybe, just maybe, you reward him with a bullet to the back of the head. You certainly don’t gun down his lady in the street and expect him to slink away. Especially not with Philip, the leader of men making a stand against a gigantic crime. Yes, Nerozzia knows the rules; he just chose to ignore them. So now th...
	Disgaea: Hour of Darkness review (PS2) Reviewed on July 06, 2006 At a glance, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness looks like your standard strategy RPG: turn-based battles on a grid, a variety of weapons and classes, a small amount of customization. But from the first time you meet the main character, you know that you’re in for a very unusual trip.
	Battle Stations review (SAT) Reviewed on July 06, 2006 Battlestations could've been a good game..... I don't like saying that a lot since you can basically apply that to any crappy game. But it's true in BS's case. A title where you take control of your own fleet (ranging from patrol boats and mine layers to battleships and aircraft carriers), set sail on the seas, and kick the crap out of any opposing fleet that dares cross your path? Sounds like a kickass game to me. Unfortunately....
	God of War review (PS2) Reviewed on July 06, 2006 There are two things that are good about this game. Sadly, they are the two things that are good about every “good” game. Usually, these two things make up the bulk a review but I didn’t write this review intending to tell you that this is a fun game and is looks good, blah, blah, woof, woof. In the grander scheme of video-game things, God of War is a big failure. It makes all the same mistakes concerning content that every other high-ranked game does. It’s offensive, it’s hyper-masculine, it m...
	The 7th Saga review (SNES) Reviewed on July 06, 2006 Enix went all-out to craft monsters that would test the mettle of even the most battle-tested adventurer. I faced instant-death attacks, brutal fireball and tornado spells and devastating melee attacks in fights with both bosses and run-of-the-mill overworld denizens. Just when I’d think a particularly tough battle was finally going in my favor, one foe would resurrect a fallen comrade or completely heal itself, forcing me to essentially start over.
	Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening review (PS2) Reviewed on July 05, 2006 Everyone said it was over
	Marble Blast Ultra review (X360) Reviewed on July 04, 2006 As you race around the various stadiums trying to collect multi-colored gems ahead of your worthy opponents, you’ll find power-ups scattered all over the place. Some blow you up to giant size and let you send everyone who touches you flying. Others give you the ability to spring high into the air, or to rocket across most of the arena if you launch cleverly from the top of a ramp.
	Tecmo NBA Basketball review (NES) Reviewed on July 04, 2006 Tecmo NBA Basketball hit stores not long after the 1991 smash debut of Tecmo Super Bowl, a game that succeeded because it stood as the most accurate NES representation of its sport. In terms of presentation and options, these releases exist as equals, but the newer of the two lacks an essential sports game characteristic. Even when mastered, TSB thrived because every down presented an uncertain challenge, be it navigating a broken blocking scheme or reading the oppon...

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