Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Aegis Wing review (X360)Reviewed on May 16, 2007As multiple ships soar through space, you’ll find that you can approach an ally and latch onto his ship. Though doing so consigns you to whatever evasive maneuvers your ally feels are appropriate, there’s a tradeoff: you receive boosts to your firepower. Suddenly, those intimidating warships aren’t such a big deal. |
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Viewtiful Joe 2 review (PS2)Reviewed on May 16, 2007I went to college with a girl named Gina Tiranelli. I never really knew her until senior year, but she showed up in a lot of my Psychology c|asses all of the sudden. Through random chance, she and I wound up working together quite a bit. She was, hands down, the hottest woman I'd ever met, and is still in my personal top five. Viewtiful Joe 2 reminds me a lot of Gina Tiranelli. |
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The History Channel: Civil War - A Nation Divided review (X360)Reviewed on May 16, 2007During the rare occasions when the History Channel isn't airing something related to Nazis, they will cover this dark chapter in our nation's formative years. The Civil War! A conflict waged by men able to fire muskets accurately from hundreds of yards away, reload in a flash, and single-handedly decimate companies of weaker soldiers with awesome skill. In other words, here's the most intense combat of the 1860s rendered with the Call of Duty engine. Yes, it's every bit as snooze-inducing... |
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Alpine Ski Racing 2007 review (PC)Reviewed on May 15, 2007The actual performance of your skier is also directly linked to the stats in such a way that you can feel those new poles doing their job and you can feel those boasted levels taking effect. Clumsy turns become sharp ones; your acceleration becomes quicker; the ability your skier has to carve tight turns through the white stuff become more crisp and competent |
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Crack Down review (GEN)Reviewed on May 14, 2007At the beginning of the 21st century (we're a long way from that), an Artificial Life System was created. Of course, it didn't take long for some crazy doctor to use this system in an attempt to take over the world. Obviously, the government weren't having any of this. So, they send two special service agents, dressed in awesome spandex clothing, to destroy the heavily-guarded facility with guns and special (normal) time bombs. Their names? Ben and Andy. And you know with names like that, a whol... |
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Hannspree Ten Kate Honda SBK review (PS2)Reviewed on May 14, 2007Crashes are great. Bikes will smash off competitors, spin madly in the air and whack other riders into oblivion; with 22 racers eagerly pushing for places, wheel-clipping and faring-rubbing is going to happen. In full credit to SBK ‘07, the great sense of speed the game presents doesn’t slow down one iota should ever single on of these bikes find their way on-screen – quite the achievement for the seven-year-old hardware it’s housed on. |
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Pit-Fighter review (ARC)Reviewed on May 14, 2007As you step into the pit, the stench of cheap beer wafts into your nose. You can’t see very far in front of you; the florescent lights overhead only give off a meager glow, leaving nothing but moving shadows where the surrounding crowds should be. But even if you can’t see the people very well, you can hear them all too clearly. Amidst the curses, racial slurs, and drunken gibberish, you can sense that these patrons are ready to see some ass-kicking. In fact, that’s exactly what you’re here to d... |
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Mortal Kombat 3 review (GEN)Reviewed on May 13, 2007Even though Shao Kahn is a sadistic overlord from another dimension, you’ve got to feel sorry for the guy. He’s granted his minions the power to invade the Earth Realm on two occasions, only to suffer defeat in return. It’s not like Shao Kahn, his shape-shifting subordinate Shang Tsung, and the rest of his cronies are a bunch of wimps; they just can’t keep up with their superior human foes mano-a-mano. However, such ego-deflating defeats have led him to try a different angle to his devious schem... |
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Red Steel review (WII)Reviewed on May 11, 2007Red Steel presents what I feel is an amazing formula for a game. Whoever came up with the idea to wrap together a Yakuza story with motion censored sword fighting and gunplay should be offered a medal for his brilliance. I mean that's an idea for a game that I can really get into! I was pumped for Red Steel! As it turned out, though, Ubisoft just wasn't the developer to be put in charge of making such a game. Red Steel doesn't do the idea any justice whatsoever, and the game falls flat on its fa... |
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Final Fantasy IX review (PSX)Reviewed on May 11, 2007Eventually, my favorite “mini-game” simply involved me finding all the references to early Final Fantasy games in this one. Square went above and beyond the call of duty in making sure us players got enough nostalgic moments to last any number of lifetimes. Look! It’s the classic black mage design! Hey, that old geezer’s named Garland! He was the bad guy in the original Final Fantasy! |
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Aedis Eclipse: Generation of Chaos review (PSP)Reviewed on May 10, 2007What all this amounts to is a game that’s akin to a great movie with a terrible ending. You plan out each move and become completely engaged in the experience. Then the battle (the ‘movie ending’) comes and you’re left wondering where the rest of the game went. |
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Spider-Man 3 review (X360)Reviewed on May 10, 2007Gang wars take over the streets. An alien symbiote pops out of nowhere and gives him a new suit with incredible strength - but makes him a complete asshole. Kraven the Hunter, Calypso, the Lizard, the Rhino, the Scorpion, the Kingpin, the Sandman, the New Goblin, Venom - New York City is a battleground, and there’s only thing standing in the way of complete chaos is one little spider. |
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Sam & Max Episode 6 - Bright Side of the Moon review (PC)Reviewed on May 09, 2007A fitting conclusion. |
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Phantom Dust review (XBX)Reviewed on May 08, 2007Imagine my surprise. I walked through the door of a random neighborhood game seller, nodded my brow to the register biscuits, looked around, and instead of finding the usual titles that fail to rub me the right way, I found. . . |
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Honeycomb Beat review (DS)Reviewed on May 07, 2007When you’re done in Honeycomb Beat’s Puzzle Mode, you’re done. This is fine, except the only rewards are unlockable backgrounds. No hotties in bikinis, colorful fireworks, or even an exciting song to dance around to. At this point, I would even settle for a measly “Congratulations” screen. |
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Soccer '97 review (PSX)Reviewed on May 07, 2007What do you give a game that’s great for all the wrong reasons? You give it a 5. And a hearty recommendation. |
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Warrior of Rome II review (GEN)Reviewed on May 06, 2007I was curious. |
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Primal Rage review (GEN)Reviewed on May 06, 2007Welcome to Planet Urth! No, this post-apocalyptic wasteland is not the Earth that you used to know and love. Not too long ago, a giant meteorite crashed into our world, casting ruin and destruction across the globe. The impact shook the planet to its core, triggering severe earthquakes, tsunamis, and even (gasp!) global warming. Between the searing heat of the explosion and the radical shift of the continents, billions of people were killed in the catastrophe. Indeed, mankind as we know it has g... |
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Genesis Rising: The Universal Crusade review (PC)Reviewed on May 06, 2007It's fun watching organic starships explode in massive clouds of blood. It's fun sucking genes and fluids from the carcasses of defeated ships. It's fun throwing Drake shells from halfway across the map...Genesis Rising is too much fun for me to care about the crappy voice acting and crappier script. |
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NetHack review (PC)Reviewed on May 06, 2007There’s a saying in the NetHack community that the DevTeam thinks of everything, and it’s true. The game is so deep and fully realized that it’s impossible to put down. Once you’re hooked, you keep coming back no matter how frustrating it gets sometimes, because NetHack isn’t just a game. It’s an addiction. |
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