Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret review (WII) Reviewed on June 12, 2008 Despite being an initially promising platformer, its charm is spoiled by pointless motion control, absent collision detection and unforgiving enemy encounters.
	Viva Piñata review (X360) Reviewed on June 12, 2008 Viva Pinata is, in a word, unique. It incorporates many familiar simulation and animal care aspects, yes. But when I say you unique, I don’t mean in terms of gameplay. I mean that this is a complex, deep game marketed almost entirely to an audience that is likely too young to get the most out of the game. It’s understandable; the game stars a cast of adorable, cutely named pinata animals. There’s a children’s TV show that ties into the game. The game takes place in a magical garden. This isn’t ...
	Journey to Silius review (NES) Reviewed on June 11, 2008 Journey to Silius was originally slated to be a game based on the Terminator movie license, but shortly before its release that license was mysteriously revoked from Sunsoft, either because Terminator 2 was less than a year away and a film glorifying its predecessor wouldn’t make much sense or because terminators went back in time held a gun to someone’s head. Either way Sunsoft wasn’t about to let all that hard work go to waste, so they did what any respectable developer w...
	Belief & Betrayal review (PC) Reviewed on June 11, 2008 Belief & Betrayal is the latest adventure title from Italian developer Artematica Interactive, the company behind such horrors as the horrible Druuna game from 2001. Seven years later, and things haven't moved on all that much. The back-story and introduction are essentially made up of badly paced, unconvincing and uninteresting drivel. The blokes at Artematica seem to have tried reeling in the 'Da Vinci Code' crowd with an entirely unimaginative narrative centred around conspiracies within the Catholic Church, but the plot lacks so much conviction that it was always going to be impossible to pull off.
	Revolution X review (ARC) Reviewed on June 11, 2008 Maybe I feel sorry because it gives me less of a chance to rip on the idea of a heavy-duty assault rifle's secondary weapon hurling CD's so destructive they effortlessly destroy APCs. And helicopters Maybe I feel robbed of the opportunity to tell you how Revolution X is set in a world that revolves around Areosmith, while, at the same time, hates Aerosmith so much that a dedicated group hell-bent on their silence grew large enough to effortlessly capture the planet.
	Medal of Honor: Vanguard review (PS2) Reviewed on June 11, 2008 Now, instead of using canteens and first aid kits to restore health, all you have to do is duck out of the fray for a bit. Keegan can completely regenerate his health in a matter of seconds if he is able to avoid getting shot. To make this easier than you might expect, a good number of Nazis seem content to stay in one place and wait for you to enter their shooting range, as opposed to pursuing you in order to deal that killing blow.
	Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance review (XBX) Reviewed on June 10, 2008 One square section, about as long as a public restroom... that's just how big the first virtual mission is. And with your avatar, an oddly-dressed, white-haired "man", at your disposal, what is it that you'll do in this mission? You have to sneak by one guard. You'll easily walk by him as he turns his back to you, reach the goal, and complete the whole thing in under a minute. Granted, it is the first mission, but it makes you wonder if the game will continue on this simplistic path befor...
	Dracula: Origin review (PC) Reviewed on June 10, 2008 Torchlight flickers ominously, shifting the shadows cast by ghostly slivers of light invading the darkness through a network of cracks in the ancient ceiling. A silver tomb sits surrounded by a slew of human remains; bared ribcages, chewed femurs, a shattered skull. An unholy groan emits from the coffin and, from an exposed hole in the corner snakes a rotting arm, longingly reaching for you. If a hungry immortal was not enough, behind the undead monster floats a malevolent green fog, one completely impassable without knowing the rite of passage. These events may not have come from Stoker’s pen, but may as well have.
	Emergency Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on June 09, 2008 Well, the way this works is that you have one of three districts—later all combined into one—where you drive through crowded traffic to find glowing columns of light that represent missions. The time spent between said missions is mostly devoid of anything worthwhile, since you can only occasionally find diversions and they can pull you away from wherever you're supposed to be headed. Worse, the traffic you must navigate is downright annoying.
	Half-Life: Blue Shift review (PC) Reviewed on June 09, 2008 If Blue Shift were merely a simple rehash of everything we saw in Half-Life, I’d be cool with it, since I adored that game and would have loved to see more. But this expansion lacks many of the masterful touches that made Valve’s first-person shooter stand out so much. Level design is straightforward, mechanical, and lacks imagination; way too much of the game’s first act is spent wandering through some nondescript sewer system, turning wheels and pushing buttons and swimming down canals and all that. The game does eventually pick up a bit, during a semi-cool run through a train yard sporting a number of mildly exciting skirmishes with your old military opponents, but even here, the game lacks the energy and knack for big, “epic” moments that the original (and even, occasionally, Opposing Force) did so well.
	Great War Nations: The Spartans review (PC) Reviewed on June 09, 2008 I thought this was supposed to be a historical RTS. You know, based on actual history. That's what it sells itself as, anyway...But I'm reasonably certain none of the ancient civilizations of the Mediterranean had the power to throw magical fireballs.
	The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons review (GBC) Reviewed on June 09, 2008 Take Dodongo, for example. To defeat this chap, you first have to use the tried and true strategy of feeding him bombs. Then, after he's stunned by the explosion, using the power bracelet, you must pick him up and toss him onto a bed of spikes before he regains his equilibrium.
	Half-Life: Opposing Force review (PC) Reviewed on June 08, 2008 My least-favorite segment of Half-Life was the journey through the border world Xen at the end, only because the human factor had been taken out of the equation, and battling the far less intelligent alien grunts got old after a while. Much of Opposing Force more or less feels like that entire sequence, only set in the Black Mesa facility itself. The good news is that the action is kept fairly interesting throughout thanks to some new (tougher) alien baddies to fight (whom I later learned are not from Xen, but from… uh, somewhere else). The game is simply never as exciting or action-packed as the original often was.
	Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness - Episode One review (X360) Reviewed on June 07, 2008 For nearly ten years, Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik have entertained the gaming world with Penny Arcade, the most successful webcomic ever to grace the Internet. Since their comic’s humble beginning, they’ve grown to sell a whole line of merchandise, started their own gaming charity, and host a massive annual gaming convention. And on May 21st, they finally got their own game.
	GRID review (X360) Reviewed on June 07, 2008 Imagine being able to reverse time and have a second chance at something - a misspoken comment, a rubbish exam, a failed date - wouldn’t that be pretty handy? Codemasters allows your Groundhog Day fantasies to come true in Race Driver: GRID, where you can not only write off beautiful cars by ploughing them into equally beautiful surroundings, but you can do it over and over again.
	Kung Fu Panda review (PS3) Reviewed on June 07, 2008 Fans of more demanding gameplay will be sad to hear that there's not really ever a moment—even at the very end—where the game grows challenging enough to test veteran gamers. There are three difficulty modes so that you can push yourself more if you're interested, but most gamers will probably like the default settings just fine. Enemies offer token resistance and death in combat won't occur often at all.
	Star Fox 64 review (N64) Reviewed on June 06, 2008 Just what you needed to see, Star Fox 64. He can sure be a pain in the neck, but we’re going to break through that fleet. Just don’t get too cocky, otherwise you’ll never defeat Andross.
	Haze review (PS3) Reviewed on June 05, 2008 As a Mantel soldier, you’ll feel the power of Nectar with a bird’s-eye camera shift, a display that could be described as a vacuum that’s trying to devour your world. The devoured image quickly pops out, replacing the standard game view with an enhanced look at your enemies, who are now highlighted with a yellow glow. Bullets are taken with less damage, and your shields will replenish much quicker.
	Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis review (PS2) Reviewed on June 04, 2008 Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis takes you to school. In its world, ordinary people can't begin to understand the basic principles of alchemy. In fact, strict laws prohibit the practice of the art by anyone without the proper training. That's why Al-Revis Academy exists; its hallowed halls are the only place gifted youth can grapple with mastering this powerful craft. Students explore the best locations to mine for valuable, rare ingredients. They hone combat techniques to slay th...
	Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES) Reviewed on June 02, 2008 There are big fish to fry in the waters of world three and even bigger brothers walk the landscape of four. In five, a spiral palace ominously leads high up into the clouds, but you won’t want to rush to get there; you’re a shoe in anyway. Six is where obstacles get downright frigid, but a sharp mind and some nifty tricks will keep Mario hammering away. It’ll take more than a pipe dream to sink the brain twisting, precision demanding puzzles of world seven. And as for eight, the final stomping grounds and home of the nefarious King of the Koopas, this author is going to have to leave you in the dark.

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