Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Portal review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 So get this: I’ve got a friend who has never played Portal yet can still recite the game’s maddeningly catchy end credits song, word for word, along with his two nerdy buddies – I might be one of them – who like to sing the tune in public places just to freak people out. He’s cited the mechanical GLaDOS, the closest thing Portal has to a main character, as one of his all-time favorite villains, and has even brought up HK-47 (of the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic seri...
	Two Worlds: Epic Edition review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 If Two Worlds is modelled as closely on Oblivion as it looks to be, then Reality Pump have missed the point entirely. The open world remains in full force and the art design is plagiaristically similar, but Two Worlds' judgement of what makes a high-quality digital RPG is way off. Bethesda mustn't know whether to laugh or cry.
	Mount & Blade review (PC) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 The term Fantasy RPG has a very entrenched definition. One assumes a linear plot-heavy game with an overworld map and random turn-based combat where small parties with members numbering in the single-digits fight each other with magic and the occasional steampunk. Elves, Dwarves, and the occasional magic-powered mecha might make an appearance.
	Monster Madness: Grave Danger review (PS3) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 If you want a new-gen Smash TV with corpses other than slightly homosexual-looking guys in body-tight red jumpsuits made from latex, then your choices are already pretty limited. Monster Madness: Grave Danger is pretty much the only way to go, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t belong in certain pigeonholes, you could have some fun here.
	Wild ARMs XF review (PSP) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 It truely is a fantastic example of the genre, but it's immediately obvious that innovation isn't the reason why. The game's biggest departure from genre conventions is that its play field is divided into hexagons instead of squares. This makes sense given the battle system of the last two traditional Wild Arms games, and adds a small bit of series recognition to the game, but the practical impact is nonexistent. The game feels very familiar immediately. Move a unit, select its action, move on. Simple.
	S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky review (PC) Reviewed on September 20, 2008 There was a point about halfway through the new S.T.A.L.K.E.R. when I realised I was playing a radically different game to the one I started a couple of days previously. The change is a gradual one, but by the time the phenomenal ambition of the early levels has become a mere memory, it's certainly noticeable. There's a conflict of interest at the heart of Clear Sky between radically open warfare and traditional first-person shooting. Neither of these facets achieves its aims perfectly, but there remains a lot to love about GSC Game World's latest creation...
	Doom 3 review (PC) Reviewed on September 18, 2008 When a group of artists labour for months or years on some magnificently coded and presented piece of gaming software, I can't help but feel uncomfortable about kicking their hard work – but Doom 3 is unfortunately boring and there's not much else I can do to it. I remember being pleased when id software announced they were going to switch their focus back to the single player experience with this title, coming as it did after a string of deathmatch oriented games, but the result is claustrophob...
	Battle Circuit review (ARC) Reviewed on September 17, 2008 Capcom has made a lot of beat'em ups during the late 80s and most of the 90s, some of which were street brawlers that involved mayors and ninjas, knights and magicians that fought inside dungeons that possibly included dragons, and a game where you run around in giant robots, tearing stuff up. So, after making a variety of brawlers, how does Capcom attempt to make another one without it feeling like a rehash?
	Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 FES review (PS2) Reviewed on September 16, 2008 Like the average fan of RPGs, I typically do not look back on my years in high school with fondness. So when Atlus began showing trailers of Persona 3, the most recent spin-off in the ever edgy Shin Megami Tensei series, I was obviously skeptical of the unusual format in which the player equally divides his or her time between school work and dungeon-crawling. I mean, this is the same series that had tried to revive Hitler; how did we go from that to sleeping through Engli...
	P.N.03 review (GCN) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 Late 2002 was a happy time for Nintendo fans. Capcom's famed Production Studio 4 announced a quintuple threat of games for the floundering GameCube, including a cel-shaded superhero game, a new entry in the Resident Evil franchise, a since-cancelled mythological shooter, an intriguing noir game, and a very stylish looking shooter named Product Number 03, or P.N. 03 for short. Anticipation for the games grew and grew, but when P.N. 03 came out in Japan, not too many pe...
	The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion review (X360) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 This could have been a Skyrim review, but was backtracked to Oblivion.
	Hacker review (C64) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 To understand why Hacker became a cult classic, first it's necessary to know that the actual game is only part of the package. Think back to 1985, when games were already sold in stores, in a way not all that different from today - flashy boxes with cover art, blurbs of advertizing and little screenshots on the back, and a new smelling game and paper manual inside. Hacker, in the meantime, has a non-descript box with very little information on it, and inside, only a Commodore 64 cassette tape. N...
	Spore review (PC) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 The premise behind Spore is simple, really. Take a cell and grow it up until you reach space travel. Sounds simple, don't it? That's because it is. Spore is a very railroaded game until you hit the final stage, then it becomes sandbox. There are multiple paths that you can take in your own race to space, but they all lead to the same objectives in the end; which just so happen to be the game's biggest letdown.
	Monster Hunter review (PS2) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 Monster Hunter, for me, used to be an obsession. Though that obsession raised me to the upper echelons in the Monster Hunter society. Yes, I was a big shot on a video game, lol@me. I mostly add this to give my credibility some water. This is not some half-baked review you might find at other sites that consist of less than a full day's worth of play and a very ignorant view of what the game is, what it accomplishes, and how the developers designed it for those goals.
	Undercover Cops review (ARC) Reviewed on September 13, 2008 In a dimly lit room of political power, town officials plot how to take care of the recent crime outbreak...
	Lock's Quest review (DS) Reviewed on September 13, 2008 THQ as a company can be summed up in one word: shovelware. All those bad movie tie-in games you see? That’s THQ. I don’t think THQ has ever published a worthwhile game in their entire history as a company. They’re attracted to bad games like flies to shit. Then I heard a select few morons saying that THQ had finally published a good game – Lock’s Quest. Naturally, I downloaded it to see what was up. What I expected was a bad Western shovelware title, and that’s pretty much exactly what I got.
	EVE Online: Second Genesis review (PC) Reviewed on September 12, 2008 Eve Online
	Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner review (PC) Reviewed on September 10, 2008 For those who didn't know, Homestar Runner is a long running internet comedy website revolving largely about a guy answering his e-mail. It's most well known for having oddly drawn and animated cartoony characters getting into all kinds of odd misadventures together in a surprisingly mundane world. I didn't know exactly what to expect in a game about this place, but in retrospect this has point-and-click adventure written all over it. And it is pretty fitting, I suppose. The game lends itself well to the genre, what with all the quirk and the word play. Everything's too goofy to make a convincing action game or, well, much of anything else.
	Sonic 3D Blast review (GEN) Reviewed on September 10, 2008 You know what was Sonic 3D Blast's problem? It wasn't that it strayed from the side-scrolling, platforming angle in favor of an isometric viewpoint. Its problem is that it doesn't have a save feature. For an action game, it's pretty long. Two hours long, to be exact. This has to do with the fact that most of the Zones (stages) in this game drag on longer than they should. You see, each Act of a Zone contains three segments, and in each segment, you'll have to search for Dr. Robotnik's rob...
	Dream Pinball 3D review (DS) Reviewed on September 09, 2008 The table spans out on the bottom screen, the top sprawled with skulls, magic books and bumpers shaped like medieval castles. For some reason, a few of the bonuses unlock a tweeting bird song, but I’m willing to forgive it. Barely. It’s a very annoying side effect.

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