Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	March! Offworld Recon review (PC) Reviewed on December 16, 2008 If March-exclamation-mark-Offworld Recon had simply flashed up a load of static images of killer robots and huge chain-guns, layered on top of its preposterous midi-techno soundtrack, I'd have had a hell of a lot more fun. This is a first-person shooter with about as much personality and intrigue as a beige wall. There's far less context to it all than the original Doom. It manages to spectacularly predate a fifteen-year-old game in every conceivable way apart from when it was released.
	Chrono Trigger review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 The best addition to the game proves to be the use of the DS to redesign the menus and controls, and the dual screen functionality which makes viewing the menus a breeze. It might not be much more than a fresh look at the classic, but then fans weren’t really looking for a reinvention.
	Bleach: Shattered Blade review (WII) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Almost every character in Bleach carries a sword, which opens up Shattered Blade to a swashbuckling Wii control scheme. Of course, this one-on-one fighting game doesn't tell you what those swords, those zanpakuto, mean; they're the manifestation of spiritual power. It doesn't explain how Ichigo Kurosaki, a roughnecked teen, came to carry one, or how he suddenly found himself traveling between the human and spirit worlds as a substitute Soul Reaper, defending his friends a...
	Nancy Drew Dossier: Lights, Camera, Curses! review (PC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Despite my worst fears, Nancy Drew has not undergone a lobotomy. Lights, Camera, Curses! is the premier of the Nancy Drew Dossier series, designed specifically for detectives crunched for time. But even though it requires less brain power to solve, Curses still shows the super sleuth at her resourceful best.
	Ninjatown review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Ninja Gaiden? Ninja Raiden? Forget those, this is an entire game about a town of ninjas. Ninjatown takes two things they most probably hadn’t ever expected to see together: cute animated ninjas based on a plush toy line, and the classic idea of a tower defense scenario. If you’re expecting to boot up the game and find bad dialogue and easy levels however, you’d better scoot on back down to your local game store and turn in this game for Resident Evil. Do not let Ninjatown’s cute, pastel flooded ...
	Hot Pinball review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 The theme of each board? Health class diagrams of the female reproductive system!
	Football Director DS review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Football Director DS is a promising youth team player. The foundations for a worthwhile asset are there for all to see; it simply needs to be carefully cultivated in the future to reach full potential.
	Spider-Man: Web of Shadows review (X360) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 So to conclude that Web of Shadows was loaded with potential would be quite the understatement. Ultimately, the game fails miserably to live up to that potential, sort of like Penny Hardaway. And why is that? Because Web of Shadows drags. Oh how it drags.
	S4 League review (PC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 S4 League (which stands for Stylish eSper Shooting Sports), while although hailing from Korea, is probably one of the easiest games to get into and has a surprising amount of depth compared to most other free MMO games. The game was recently released in Europe and is identical to the Korean version aside from a few features like the Fumbi Shop, the Cash Shop, and a couple of weapons, skills, and maps that have yet to be added but that are being included in periodic updates.
	Kaboom! review (A2600) Reviewed on December 14, 2008 Notorious serial bomber Baron von Blitzkrieg is astir once more, perched against an entirely gray background atop a solid olive green wall, awaiting his cue to strike. Still adorned in the black-and-white striped jailbird outfit he broke out of the big house in – the ensemble accessorized by the black mask with cutout eyeholes stretched across the width of his face – the criminal mastermind holds his soon to be unleashed explosive in the palms of his hands, a scowl perpetually across his face, only fleeting for the few brief seconds when victory is his. The crew-cut culprit stands motionless, emotionless, daring us to dare him.
	Boxing review (A2600) Reviewed on December 14, 2008 Despite its rudimentary appearance, fundamental match rules, and the fact the only sound effect present is the ungraceful grunt of worn leather connecting with human hide, Boxing still manages to present an engaging experience, albeit for a short period of time, due to its scoring system. Landed punches by either Floyd or Samuel will be tallied as either one or two points, depending on the accuracy and impact of the blow, with the total scores posted at the top of the screen. And this is where strategy starts to come into play.
	Super Mario Land review (GB) Reviewed on December 14, 2008 Two levels amongst the dozen total stand out; the conclusion of the second world forces Mario into a missile-armed submarine for some side-scrolling shmup action while in the finale he becomes a red baron and takes to the skies to battle bird menace Biokinton and final boss Tatanga in a similar manner. Never before, and never since, has Mario strayed into this genre, and though relatively easy forays, the best reason to play Super Mario Land is for these novelties. The simple departures from the formulaic platforming are endearing; there's an unuttered joy in bursting blocks and collecting coins far from the established series manner. And if you'd rather be bopping enemies on the head, these levels hardly overstay their welcome. More likely you'll be wanting more.
	Alone in the Dark review (WII) Reviewed on December 11, 2008 I find it to be strikingly painful when I come across a game with such enthusiasm only to be let down with my face bashed against the rubble like a children's toy forgotten about after a shining afternoon's adventuring. As the storm clouds loom overhead and swirl together in a deafening chorus, it becomes clear that this night's proceedings will be of relentless disappointment. How shameful that after such a long wait, the hopes of a prospective fan are crushed so. I WANTED to enjoy Alone in...
	The Castlevania Adventure review (GB) Reviewed on December 11, 2008 Virtually all of this level is you in a race against time while spikes descend upon you, chase you as you ascend a tower and follow after you while you sprint to the left. You'll be jumping across plummeting platforms and narrow blocks like crazy, whipping worms who stand in your path and doing whatever you can to stay ahead of the pursuing spikes. With a character that neither jumps nor moves well. After getting through all that, I was so mentally drained I wasn't even bothered by how pitifully weak the humanoid bat creature boss wound up being.
	Sonic Unleashed review (X360) Reviewed on December 10, 2008 I wasn't expecting much from Sonic Unleashed going into it for the first time. After the wreck that was Sonic '06, I'm surprised I still ended up buying this title when it came out. I guess when you've been a Sonic fan ever since the original's release, it's hard to abandon the series. Even as I was going through Unleashed's first few stages, I still had my doubts. I was disappointed that Sonic Team decided to, yet again, include adventure fields, called Town Stages here. I was eve...
	A Vampyre Story review (PC) Reviewed on December 10, 2008 A Vampyre Story has the overflowing charm of the Lucas Arts classics, it's voiced properly and it's completely stable. It's fabulously drawn and suitably silly, with puzzles that follow at least the classic adventure school of logic. It has some of the best cinematic sequences I've seen in a long time. It has characters I actually wanted to speak to, instead of just stabbing them repeatedly in the face with a spork. But sometimes, just sometimes... it's a bit boring.
	Ys review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2008 Whether you’re struggling against some seemingly overpowered boss or plowing through a horde of minor enemies like some sort of god, you’ll realize just how well the two elements go together. They actually make exploration fun, and how many games from the 80s actually factor in place of attack when determining damage?
	Pet Pals: New Leash on Life review (PC) Reviewed on December 08, 2008 Pet Pals: New Leash on Life isn't all snuggles and kisses. Through 38 patient examinations, it illustrates realistic courses of medical treatment for animals in need. Given its subtitle, though, this game should've gone further in expounding the challenges in adoption.
	Multiwinia: Survival of the Flattest review (PC) Reviewed on December 08, 2008 Rather than carefully constructing a balanced army, Multiwinia demands victory through superior manouvers, feinting and flanking, and knowing when to retreat and when to press the attack. Should you amass your Multis for a later assault, or have them charge out of the spawn points to bolster that choke point? All this planning might sound complicated, but Multiwinia's intuitive interface frees up enough brainpower to make tactical planning almost instinctual, as easy as 3.141592653589...
	The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (PSP) Reviewed on December 08, 2008 Individually, these are all solid fighting games, particularly the first (’94) and the last (’98). Together, their flaws are much more apparent. If you like one or more of The King of Fighters games, chances are you’ll enjoy this collection – especially if you’ve been longing to have the series in high-quality handheld form.

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