Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Pony Luv review (DS) Reviewed on December 01, 2008 Here, all you need to is run through a virtual checklist of tasks that keeps your horsie happy, then put the bugger to work to earn more cash which gets swallowed up by further investing in the original checklist. And that’s it.
	Super Mario 64 DS review (DS) Reviewed on December 01, 2008 What a surprise. With another portable console by Nintendo come more excuses for them to remake Mario games released on their home consoles with similar hardware specs. With the DS effectively being the portable equivalent of the N64, it’s inevitable we’d see a DS remake of Super Mario 64. But the challenge here was how to grind out some use from that second screen.
	Legendary review (PS3) Reviewed on November 30, 2008 The story of Legendary is undeniably shoddy, a fact that becomes all the more apparent when Spark Unlimited insists on shoving it in your face with boring cut-scenes before each mission, done in the still frame style of Resistance: Fall of Man, as if insisting that they are clever and modern. To further rip off that game, the cut-scenes are narrated by a woman with a gimmicky British accent. It doesn't help that Spark Unlimited managed to do the impossible and have graphical glitches in its still-shots. Each of these slideshows is riddled with lag and choppiness. I'm not sure how they accomplished that.
	The Last Remnant review (X360) Reviewed on November 30, 2008 Strategic RPGs have only come so far in advancing the traditional turn-based gameplay we have seen implemented in past video games. With The Last Remnant, Square-Enix tries to do something different, offering larger scale battles that focus on group support rather than individual fighters. But will this attempt at innovation help the company establish a new franchise, or have their efforts come to naught?
	Star Ocean: First Departure review (PSP) Reviewed on November 30, 2008 It's all quite basic and it works smoothly without any noteworthy hitches except the obvious one: it gets repetitive. By the time you reach the end of the game, you'll probably have faced more than 800 different enemy groups, with most battles won simply by spamming your basic sword strokes and perhaps the same projectile spell. You can experiment with numerous variations if you like, but there's no incentive to do so... especially since almost any rival can be overcome simply by level grinding (though frankly, that's seldom even necessary).
	Pathologic review (PC) Reviewed on November 29, 2008 Pathologic is gloriously ambitious and intentionally abhorrent, but in pushing the boundaries of game design, it manages to cross them to often disastrous effect. It realises the best and worst of the medium's potential and, while I'm mightily impressed by its flair, I'd find it difficult to actually recommend to anyone. If you're prepared to overlook its problems - and there are a lot of them - you could well find yourself completely swept away.
	Super Text Twist review (PC) Reviewed on November 28, 2008 Feel free to eat all the cod you want, but koi is not on the menu. Pay for your fish craving with yen, but smaller denominations such as ren are not accepted here. You can bring your sis but not your bro. You can be an ace or a con, but not a pro. Bod, bio, ern, ave, mot and eek will be refused. Sic, tun, roc, pus, dun and bur will all eke by. Maybe you think this is a gyp. The game won't hear that either.
	Hatris review (TG16) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 You are Alexey Pajitnov. Perhaps the name rings a bell. You've just created Tetris, the mega-hit puzzle game that has sparked legal battles across the globe over licensing rights and taken both eastern and western audiences by storm. Atari wants you. Nintendo wants you. But luckily for you, you haven't had to worry yourself with any of that trouble; your government has it all under control. Phew! I bet the check is in the mail already. Regardless, your career has skyrocketed overnight. One minute you're an unheard of computer engineer toiling away in the Soviet Union. The next you're being mentioned in the same breath as Miyamoto and Bushnell as a who's who in the video game world... as you toil away in the Soviet Union.
	Mega Man 9 review (PS3) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 After finally obtaining a “next generation” gaming system media center (?), it seemed prudent that I should make an effort to experience the best that my new PS3's cell processor could muster. I wanted to make a point to experience a game that was technically beautiful and fresh from all the genre-centric titles that had dominated the previous generation. In that spirit, I purchased Valkyria Chronicles.
	Mouse Trap review (A2600) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 I'm not sure why the mouse looks so happy, all things considered, as a number of (possibly starving) felines patrol the corridors of the maze. Working in the mouse's favor were a few dog biscuits, which would turn it into a dog that could rip through the cats like me through a Thanksgiving turkey drumstick, sending them back to their cages � much like Pac-Man could do to ghosts.
	Pokemon Red review (GB) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 But it doesn't have to be Mankey; it could be Ratatta. It could be Nidoran. It could be Pidgey, or Pikachu, or Geodude. There is a tendency for the Pokemon you start with to become one of your strongest, but it's not a necessity, and any Pokemon can eventually be beneficial to your six member team. Moreover, you can have well over six Pokemon; you can only carry six with you to use in battle, while the others are stored remotely and recalled from the Pokemon Centers.
	Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow review (XBX) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell left me in awe. When it was released it was easily the best stealth game, and although it had a few shortcomings, its awesome aspects more than made up for them. The idea of stealth and using your environments had never been used this effectively, and I can still recall some of the awesome situations the game put you in. I remember creeping in the dark sewers trying to follow guards unaware of my presence, cutting through a courtyard filled with mines and sni...
	Rampage Through Time review (PSX) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 Imagine controlling a giant mutant. You move carelessly from city to city, destroying buildings, eating people, and kicking over cars. The military and police department are both out to stop you, but you won’t let them stand in your way. You continue to “rampage” from city to city, causing as much chaos and destruction as possible with hopes of someday destroying the whole world.
	Radical Rex review (GEN) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 Why did the dinosaurs die out?
	Disgaea DS review (DS) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 It's this trio that quickly become the driving force of Disgaa, be it through Etna's constant sadistic mocking every time Laharl makes a mistake or Flonne's unflagging insistence that both of her new demon friends are basically good people underneath all the mindless slaughtering and evil cackling. Such is the force behind the threesome's interactions that it's all too easy to forget that there's a competent strategy game lurking between all the comic capering.
	Space Invaders review (N64) Reviewed on November 26, 2008 No shooter formula is more archaic. No shooter formula holds such nostalgia either. Space Invaders has been a simple concept since its first appearance in the arcades of the late 1970s, a classic dance with death from above. The aliens descend with uniformity and precision, swaying to surface level as a trained squadron with no intention to deviate from the plan. It will work. They believe. Down below dissonance breaks their harmonious, synchronized descent; one lone Earth pilot desperately fires blasts skywards from his roving craft, shifting left and right with the pack, dodging sporadic projectiles and wreaking havoc on their ranks. Will it be enough?
	Bejeweled Twist review (PC) Reviewed on November 25, 2008 As always, the basic goal is to clear three panels adjacent panels of a particular color: red, yellow, blue, green, white, orange or purple. Previously this was accomplished by moving a single piece through the grid, swapping out as you went. That mechanic is gone now. Instead, you move a circular patch over the field, position it wherever you think is best, then set a 'twist' into motion. This will cause the four pieces caught within that patch to turn clockwise a single quarter of a rotation. At that point, three or more connected panels will vanish and possibly even set a chain reaction in motion (if you were particularly clever).
	Guitar Hero: On Tour review (DS) Reviewed on November 25, 2008 Creating a game multiplatform is one way for a publisher to sit on the fence by selling as many titles as possible without taking the risk of developing for the losing console. When multiplatform games appear on every active format available, you can’t help but think the publisher (*cough*EA*cough*) are trying to milk the franchise a touch. But when we’re talking a multiplatform attempt to downsize a peripheral based game in which the controller isn’t exactly handheld, a la Guitar Hero, s...
	Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff review (DS) Reviewed on November 25, 2008 Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff isn't just a distant descendant of Tecmo Super Bowl; it's a reincarnation. Recognizable names are the sole component that died for good.
	The Hardy Boys: The Hidden Theft review (PC) Reviewed on November 25, 2008 To find the whole truth behind The Hidden Theft, the Hardy Boys must scour the town for clues, interview all the witnesses, and continuously think outside the box. But before the journey can begin, the pair has to get past Mom. She grounded them.

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