Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl review (PC) Reviewed on December 31, 2008 Stalker is so far removed from the relentless fright-a-minute conventions of the genre that it somehow works on a much higher level than any of its competitors. A staggering majority of Stalker takes place in wide, open and relatively calm outdoor expanses. But the atmosphere never lets up; it only shifts from mood to mood. It's unsettling for different reasons, and on the occasions where it throws the real chills at you, the effect is mind-blowing.
	Thunder Force VI review (PS2) Reviewed on December 31, 2008 It's obvious that Sega and the former Technosoft employees who worked on this project still love the same scenes that I loved ten, fifteen, seventeen years ago. That reassures me; my fascination with such details was clearly no accident. For children who have grown up, for people who stopped embellishing in their minds and only accept what's "real"... Thunder Force 6 makes those moments real — no imagination required!
	The Longest Journey review (PC) Reviewed on December 30, 2008 About a week ago, I got introduced to The Longest (-winded) Journey, which people told me was the best point-and-click adventure game ever made, and that I would instantly love it the second I began playing it. So I downloaded it, installed it, and played about halfway through. What I found is that The Longest Journey definitely lives up to its name, but that it definitely is NOT the god-adventure I was told it would be, and is DEFINITELY not the best adventure game of all time.
	Fallout 3 review (X360) Reviewed on December 30, 2008 War. War never changes.
	Rogue Galaxy review (PS2) Reviewed on December 30, 2008 It also doesn't help that the two companions you can have at your side at any time are idiots. I didn't notice those guys going for charge attacks when necessary, leaving me to do that myself while they ineffectively flailed at the monsters. They also didn't seem all that keen on blocking attacks or any sort of evasive action. Instead, they'd occasionally request to use a healing item or ability when they felt that'd be a good change of pace from blindly running at monsters and attacking with all the grace and style of a drunken berserker.
	LittleBigPlanet review (PS3) Reviewed on December 30, 2008 Suddenly I felt hope. Hope for myself. Hope for humanity. Sony might’ve intended HOME to be their global glue for PS3 players, but the true community is right here, in Little Big Planet.
	FIFA Soccer 09 review (DS) Reviewed on December 30, 2008 Developing football games on the DS used to be like playing both Gerrard and Lampard on the same pitch, never quite worked, and the amount of titles made shows. Gameloft's acclaimed Real Football series stands as its only competitor; the shambolic Pro Evolution Soccer went out with a wimper. FIFA’s typical multi-platform ubiquity can easily be dismissed as another EA style money-spinner, as brand-recognition is a sure sign of sales. But FIFA isn’t the complacent footb...
	Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 - The Criminal Projective review (PC) Reviewed on December 26, 2008
	Zoom! review (GEN) Reviewed on December 25, 2008
	Half-Life review (PC) Reviewed on December 25, 2008 The RPG genre has generally been understood to be exclusive to games that are, in some form, driven up front by visible statistics. If there is a screen that displays HP, STR, MAG, or any other common abbreviations, the game in question is likely an RPG in the sense in which the term is most commonly applied. Half-life is obviously not an RPG in the numerical sense. It is instead, a great example (perhaps the best example) of the original sense of an RPG, a game in which narrative is v...
	Shining in the Darkness review (GEN) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 The Labyrinth is no joke. It may not change a lot graphically, but its endless traps, constant confusions, and expansive size more than make up for it. A maze of winding corridors and twisting passages, you’ll get lost quickly if you’re not paying careful attention. You have no map – that would’ve been too easy! – so you must rely on memory alone.
	Twinkle Tale review (GEN) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 Sadistic level design will try its best to prevent your strength-conserving efforts. In its attempt to maim and weaken you, you’ll find yourself weaving through a sea of rolling boulders while blasting oozing slime creatures in a castle, negotiating a monster-infested ravine where one misstep will send you sailing over the edge at the expense of health, or trekking through a dark cave where enemies appear infinite and nearly invisible ghouls sap your magical power at the slightest touch.
	Guardians/Denjin Makai II review (ARC) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 Picture yourself as a buxom beauty, your long blonde hair flowing in a ponytail as you sprint across the scorched desert sands of an oil field, your thigh-high white heeled boots kicking up puffs of silt and debris. Generic, gray uniformed enforcers decorated in visors and body armors of red and blue confront with fists drawn. You’re Kurokishi, trusted guardian of peace and love. They’re up to no good. In this genre, those circumstances suffice.
	Golden Axe review (GEN) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 Golden Axe for the Sega Genesis will always be one of those memorable moments from my childhood. It was such a simple title, but that's why I liked it; when I wasn't in the mood to play one of my other favorite, yet lengthy games, like Sonic 3 & Knuckles, Dynamite Headdy, or Dune: The Battle for Arrakis, I'd pop my "modified", Japanese cartridge of GA into the Genesis. And even though it was short, I would keep coming back to it again and again to hack and slash my way through Deat...
	Daikatana review (GBC) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 Due to fancy time/space manipulation, Hiro has his own Daikatana, but his version of the sword has no magic power. Fortunately, for a villain, Kage is remarkably helpful and repeatedly decides to assert his power over your group by teleporting them to various time periods — where Hiro can get his sword powered up by helping the right folk. Why doesn't Kage just use his power to kill Hiro and end his pitiful rebellion? Well, due to the laws of physics or some other hogwash, if two versions of the Daikatana collide, everything goes boom due to creating a paradox or whatever.
	Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories review (PS2) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 A departure from the hit-the-x-button gameplay of the rest of the series, this system is lauded as either brilliantly strategic or pathetically broken. I myself call it strategically pathetic, but I like it nonetheless.
	Indigo Prophecy review (PS2) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 It’s around here that Marcus stops worrying about his mental health and starts trying to be middle America’s answer to Chow Yun Fat on a tabletop-sized slab of LSD. It’s about here you may want to start thinking about employing your console’s off switch.
	Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus review (NES) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 And after seven sequences of this, it all abruptly ends. No more muted, garish colors. No more laughable showdowns. No more trying to hit a miniature velociraptor with a stupid arcing bomb because the power-up literally blocked your path on the opposite side of a gorge, forcing you to die or collect it.
	Lot Lot review (NES) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 If this sounds a bit more like a drawn-out chore than an actual puzzle, it is. You’re merely switching contents around and waiting for membranes to give way as you keep one square completely cleared to avoid losing. Keep swinging contents further from the bottom left toward the top right, or toward gaps that lead to scoring channels and rid the problem with immediacy. Worse, this is all done at an agonizingly slow pace. Like most any puzzle game, lather-rinse-repeat applies.
	Guitar Hero: On Tour - Decades review (DS) Reviewed on December 21, 2008 Organization stands out as the major selling point of Guitar Hero: On Tour - Decades. Traditionally, games from this successful rhythm franchise grouped songs only by difficultly. Weezer would sit right next to Blondie; the Foo Fighters back to back with Boston. Here music is arranged by time period, so you'll find one steaming pile of Fall Out Boy, The All-American Rejects and Paramore rather than stumbling upon them throughout the ga...

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