Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	SpongeBob vs. The Big One: Beach Party Cook-Off review (DS) Reviewed on March 30, 2009 Each of SpongeBob's techniques is linked to a specific touch screen mini-game. They're all routine stylus activities, even if the ingredients are a little weird. Trace a line to slice up some kelp. Tap quickly to pound out a Krabby Patty. Rotate frantically to mix up some seaweed pasta. Slingshot deep fried flotsam out of hot oil. Okay, maybe they're not all ordinary culinary arts...
	Beyond Oasis review (GEN) Reviewed on March 30, 2009 For the longest time, I considered Beyond Oasis a RPG, because it had characteristics of one. It took place in a fantasy setting where knights, beasts, and mutated rats roamed lands, caves, and dungeons. Your character, named Ali, has health and magic bars that are labeled as H.P and S.P, and he can also travel around in an overhead perspective, picking up various weapon and health items that can be stocked in a magical inventory screen. It just had the markings of a role-playing game.
	Ontamarama review (DS) Reviewed on March 29, 2009 With a look reminiscent of a kid's anime, Ontamarama sets the cuteness factor to high. Just check out the protagonists. Beat is an energetic boy with spiky blue cowlicks who perpetually wears inline skates. Rest is a thoughtful girl with red pigtails, and her footwear is of the goody-two-shoes variety. Both children are studying to become Ontamaestros in order to spread the beauty of music. To accomplish that goal, they need the help of the Ontama, magical spirits that look like joyf...
	Blue Dragon review (X360) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 Just by going through the game and experimenting with the class system enough to give all five of my characters (Shu and pals find two more allies before the end of the first disc) a decent amount of versatility, I was trouncing every storyline encounter in my path to the point where the game's final bosses wound up being exercises in me tapping buttons while being more interested in the college basketball game I was watching on my other television.
	Cross Fire review (PC) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 CrossFire is a grain of sand in a desert full of free, online first-person shooters. The majority of these are played and maintained by fanatic Koreans with glazed eyes and twitchy fingers, going to any lengths to improve their skill. At first glance, this particular title fails to stand out from its peers; sporting low-grade graphics, two factions that are constantly at war for no real reason and a promotion system that will be uncannily familiar to the fans of Battlefield or Call of Duty. The gameplay, whilst repetitive, is oddly addictive and never really gets frustrating, despite having to fight alongside some rather incompetent people.
	Pass Your Driving Theory Test: 2010 Edition review (DS) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 Fact is, Pass your Driving Theory Test is never going to be the top of anyone’s wish list unless they actually want to pass their driving theory test, but, should this be the case, it’s a well-made and competent study guide that will vastly enhance your chances to pass a fiddly exam.
	Spyglass Board Games review (X360) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 Recreating board games is tricky in that developers generally need to give their target audience incentive to purchase a digital copy of something they already have stuffed away in their closet somewhere. Spyglass Board Games includes all of four different types of board games straight away. Checkers, chess, reversi, and mancala are all displayed in the most primitive of forms. The subtle premise of the game is certainly nice enough, but do any of the board game variants hold water?
	Yaris review (X360) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 An aura of decadence tends to pervade anything that’s free. When people are given a game without paying anything – their incentive to play the title is gone. This can create reasonably low expectations, meaning that there’s likely not going to be any middle ground. Aegis Wing happened to be a humble success, proving to be one of the best Live Arcade titles. While AW’s amateur developers seemed to have put their hearts into the game, genuinely catering to the hardcore gamer in all of us, it’s unf...
	3 on 3 NHL Arcade review (X360) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 3 on 3 NHL Arcade is a great idea. The latest EA hockey game, NHL 09, has shed some pounds over the winter with a diet that cuts out all of the realism and simulation that devoted fans have come to expect from the perennial franchise. Our overall roster weighs in at a slim 40 players and two teams. There’s no room for stats, or much in the way of personality, here. That’s not to say that 3 on 3 NHL Arcade forgets to include any new content.
	SNK Arcade Classics: Vol. 1 review (PSP) Reviewed on March 27, 2009 I’m happy enough burning though another game of Shock Troopers while on the move. Afterwards, perhaps I’ll surprise myself with another round of golf. Odds are, there’s something on here you’ll enjoy.
	Resident Evil 5 review (PS3) Reviewed on March 25, 2009 I like games that make me think. When trying to break through a barricade of machine gunners and vicious packs of dogs, I want the answer not to be “use a better rifle” but to be something more involved. For instance, sending a partner along a catwalk to draw the gun fire while I sneak closer and blow out the fox holes with a close up grenade or two. Resident Evil 5 should’ve been littered with these kind of situations, but more often than not it opts for straight shoot outs. And they get old.
	Wallace & Gromit's Grand Adventures: Episode 1 - Fright of the Bumblebees review (PC) Reviewed on March 25, 2009 It never quite gets going, surely a symptom of its short duration over anything else. At just a few hours long, nothing really kicks off until the finale, but it's one that sets the scene for what could be a delightful little adventure. Fright of the Bumblebees is an impressively promising start to this four-part release, and if it carries on in the same direction, later instalments could be just the ticket. This one's a fine introduction, but I'm almost certain it'll be the least memorable.
	Robotica review (SAT) Reviewed on March 24, 2009 For a first-generation Saturn title, Robotica started out quite promising with its cool intro. Hell, it wasn't very grainy and in full screen! As scenes of three robots, named Laocorns, heading towards a fortress, which was attached to an asteroid, and hovering over Earth, were being shown, a narrator was explaining the story. In a nutshell, the World Silent Security Service has been monitoring every single thing that has happened on Earth for the past 8...
	The Nameless Mod review (PC) Reviewed on March 24, 2009 The Nameless Mod truly is an incredible achievement. Nearly 200,000 lines of fully voiced dialogue. A story that branches drastically around an hour in, resulting in two radically different fifteen-hour campaigns. An abundance of clever videogame commentary, woven seamlessly into the daft but surprisingly affecting narrative. A player-centric, opportunity-filled playground of gritty adventuring. Seven years of hard, voluntary work with a notoriously fiddly engine have resoundingly paid off. It's often ludicrously good -- which makes it even more disheartening when an essential door wedges half-open, or an important message doesn't appear, or the game crashes to the desktop for the umpteenth time that day.
	Fahrenheit review (SCD) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 I’ve been gaming long enough to know what I enjoy. It’s not like there are certain games I’m not into just because I’m unaware of them – the genres I don’t play, I don’t play for a reason.
	Legacy of Ys: Books I & II review (DS) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 The back of the box says "this ultimate translation delivers the most substantial version of the famous story to date". It also refers to "new enemies and equipment". For North America, this is true. However, in terms of content, Legacy of Ys is nothing more than a re-release of Ys Complete I&II with new graphics, new music, and a new control system.
	LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga review (X360) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 LEGO Star Wars is not an easy game to describe with words. I can remember reading a few reviews for the LEGO games that have popped up in the last few years, and from them, all I understood was that the game was funny. I can even remember walking up to an in store demo of LEGO Star Wars, and not having the faintest clue what to do. I bought this game at bargain bin price, not knowing what to expect, except for a few laughs.
	Zombies Ate My Neighbors review (GEN) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 I found this game randomly while searching for something interesting to play. Its sheer strangeness attracted my inquisitive mind. I didn’t realize just how odd it would be, though. If the subtle allusions to other horror icons don’t draw interest, the utter weirdness will. After all, how many games have you fighting a giant baby that squirts you with its milk bottle and squishes you flat when it stomps on you?
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 In reviewing No More Heroes, it’s a natural instinct to compare the game to its spiritual predecessor, Killer7, but that won’t get you anywhere. The two games share a similar cel-shaded visual style and are both products of Suda 51, but that’s the extent of their similarities, save for the identical reactions they inspired from me: I don’t know what it is, but I like it.
	Watchmen: The End Is Nigh review (PC) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 I’ve decided that it’s pointless to judge Watchmen: The End Is Nigh as a genuine narrative addition to the Watchmen saga, because of course it fails. The graphic novel is considered the height of the medium by nearly anyone who reads it, and was penned by Alan Moore, one of the greatest writers of the last century; the game was made for no reason other than to cash in on the mainstream success that the license only just obtained a couple of weeks ago with the movie. You’ve seen thi...

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