Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Resident Evil review (GCN)Reviewed on January 21, 2009In 1999, System Shock 2 showed the world that it's possible to craft an unspeakably brilliant and always-chilling tale, complete with horrifying characters and a relentlessly anxious and unfriendly atmosphere. It also proved that survival horror in its truest sense - a focus on the conservation of resources in a harrowing, otherworldly situation - doesn't have to be restricted by godawful movement and an errant camera, and certainly that tension doesn't have to be ramped up by not being able to see where you're going. Why, when we have a wonderful benchmark like that, are we still lapping up rubbish like this? |
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Panic Restaurant review (NES)Reviewed on January 21, 2009You control an elderly chef who finds that a villainous counterpart named OHDOVE has just taken over his restaurant AND somehow made all the food homicidal. Personally, I'm a bit skeptical as to how food that attacks people is going to help this place keep customers happy, but unlike OHDOVE, I've never presumed to be a qualified restaurant owner. |
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Dokapon Kingdom review (WII)Reviewed on January 21, 2009Early on you'll groan with disgust when you lose a fight and have to sit out for three rounds to recuperate. Before long, though, you're learning how to beef up your warrior with levels and equipment. You're mastering the fine art of swooping in for the victory just as two rivals have worn each other down to slivers of life. You're warping across the map to rest up at a safe town, or using items you've gathered to wreak havoc from afar. You're coming to understand that your opponents will always be lucky in battle but that maybe you can plan carefully and be luckier still. |
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Cake Mania: In the Mix! review (WII)Reviewed on January 20, 2009Momentum is important in Cake Mania: In the Mix, paramount even. If you can't maintain it along with a sense of working rhythm, the game will unapologetically eat you for lunch. It's quite humbling, really. On the face of things, this is a game about a hot little baker girl (or boy, or... grandpa?) dashing around to fill orders for cakes. Dig a little deeper, though, and it's a demanding time management sim that just doesn't quit. |
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Gradius IV review (ARC)Reviewed on January 20, 2009I first picked up the Gradius III & IV compilation pack initially because I was into Gradius III at the time, since I was primarily playing it via MAME and the PSP Gradius Collections. When I received the PS2 ports, I played Gradius III with the slight hope of getting the 1 credit clear, but it's so cruel near the end of the game where you face the infamous cube rush that I just gave up, knowing that I would have to memorize an utterly frustrating point of an above average game. Eventually, I d... |
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Way of the Samurai review (PS2)Reviewed on January 19, 2009I picked up Way of the Samurai many a year ago in one of those impulses that causes you to browse games at Target while you’re momentarily distracted from buying cheap T-shirts with pictures of Bob Ross on them. These impulses occasionally lead to solid gold, more often lead to disappointment, and can on rare occasion result in eternal damnation, like the time I found one of Satan’s toenails at a lazy seaside pawn shop. |
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Safecracker: The Ultimate Puzzle Adventure review (WII)Reviewed on January 18, 2009Most of the time you play, you'll probably be thinking that you must have missed something. Sometimes the hero will muse about a possible solution and point you in the right direction, but typically that only happens once you've finally figured it out for yourself. Even then, he doesn't always have anything worthwhile to say. Suggesting that a safe looks like cipher puzzles from the Civil War is all well and good, but what if you have no idea what that even means? The game simply demands too much of the casual gamer that it is likely to attract. |
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Hokuto no Ken review (PS2)Reviewed on January 18, 2009What Hokuto no Ken lacks in balance, it attempts to compensate for in flash. Huge Engrish proclamations such as "THE BATTLE OF DESTINY" and "THANX FOR YOUR PLAYING!" adorn the screen, blows connect with explosive impact, and animations are elaborate and unusual; one character pulls oil drums from the background, sets them on the ground, and ignites them with shotgun blasts. |
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Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf review (WII)Reviewed on January 18, 2009Compared the rest of its Wii budget label brethren, Crazy Mini Golf is by far the favoured game, but it’s a little like saying testicular is your favourite form of cancer. |
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My Little Pony Pinkie Pie's Party review (DS)Reviewed on January 16, 2009Before starting to write this review, I tried to think about who might read it. Unlikely to be the small children for whom this game is designed, and most likely to be some long suffering parent, trying to find a good reason to resist the demand for yet more My Little Pony related merchandise. If you fall into this category, then I'm sorry to say that I have bad news for you. This game is surprisingly good, and in fact I would recommend it for any girl or boy who likes pink ponies and opening lo... |
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The 7th Guest review (MAC)Reviewed on January 15, 2009It was one of the first CD-ROM games ever released, one of the first games to use live action video placed over pre-rendered graphics, and one of the first games to have an adult theme (not counting Atari’s vast library of lewd titles). That’s a lot of impressive firsts, but it also places The 7th Guest as a pioneer trying a lot of new technology in the early 90’s. |
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Castlevania: Judgment review (WII)Reviewed on January 14, 2009Why would someone bother mastering the art of knocking someone into the air, canceling out of a ground-based combo to follow-up with an air attack and then come down with a crushing to finish things off when just waving the Wii Remote around in circles while holding the 'B' button proves equally effective? This game was made for old-fashioned button mashers. |
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Devil May Cry 4 review (PS3)Reviewed on January 14, 2009There reaches a point in any franchise’s history when it peaks, and the creators of the franchise are faced with a dilemma. Do they try and top that success with another game, or do they take their money and run while their reputation is still intact? Inevitably greed makes their decision the former, and inevitably developers seem to think the best way to top a great game is to make one exactly like it. |
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Moon review (DS)Reviewed on January 14, 2009It was all a lie. Everything. The history of the world, the origins of religion, the development of modern civilization, our very existence. The conspiracy theorists were right; aliens not only exist, but they’ve been in contact with us all along. Watching, subtly manipulating humanity into what it is today. It’s kind of funny, in a way. They’ve been hiding in plain sight the entire time, but we could never reach them…until a few decades ago. The Apollo 11 mission to the moon was one of the grea... |
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EverQuest II: The Shadow Odyssey review (PC)Reviewed on January 14, 2009EverQuest II has fought hard to redeem itself from the hollow shell it once was, and it’s made this possible by dumping uncountable options right into the lap of the player. Returning players will find an extension of worth and new players have found a great tie to jump in. |
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Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi review (DS)Reviewed on January 14, 2009That, unfortunately, is where Rise of the Fungi’s problems begin. Most significantly, the level designs just don’t work. One could argue that they feature the same amount of platforms and climbable objects as any other game in the genre, but what stands out here is their inability to make things clear. There’s a map displayed on the top screen – or the bottom screen, it loves to flip-flop – but that doesn’t help when a gap is hard to view, when a platform is unusually hard to reach, or when the required task feels impossible to complete due to a technical flaw that only luck can overcome. |
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The Office review (PC)Reviewed on January 14, 2009You wanna know why I purchased The Office? I was blown away that a developer went out of their way to create a video game based on a comedy taking place in an office building. I just had to get it. So, coming into the game, I didn't have any high expectations, I just simply wanted to know how the hell it played. |
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Kung Fu Panda review (X360)Reviewed on January 14, 2009As one of those older gamers, the main thing I enjoyed about this game was its level design. While the stages were all fairly short and very linear, there was a lot of variety. In one level, I was scaling a mountain while not only fighting off constant attacks by a gang of gorillas, but also dodging a non-stop barrage of rocks being flung towards me by their commander. A little bit later, I found myself having to prevent hordes of wolves from destroying all the relics in the abode of the Furious Five. |
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Final Fantasy IV review (DS)Reviewed on January 13, 2009Final Fantasy IV DS is not a new game, nor does it pretend to be original. As with many of Square Enix's re-releases of older titles, it is aimed primarily at the nostalgia factor for those of us who were old enough to play it the first time around (and, were it human, Final Fantasy IV will be old enough to vote next year.) However, even if you didn't play it as a wee small thing back when it was on the Super Nintendo and it was called Final Fantasy II, there's still plenty here for you if you like challenging gameplay and well-executed stories. |
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Big Bang Mini review (DS)Reviewed on January 13, 2009I’ve learnt to destroy heat-seeking cod skeletons with fireworks. Now excuse me while I save the world. |
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