Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Pass Your Driving Theory Test: 2010 Edition review (DS)Reviewed on April 19, 2009Gentlemen -- and ladies, if such a thing truly exists on the internet -- the times, they are a changin’. Somewhere along the line, someone decided that handheld consoles weren’t really meant as gaming machines anymore. And that someone was Nintendo. |
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Resident Evil 5 review (X360)Reviewed on April 19, 2009It’s fine with me when the game starts to segue into cut scenes built right off the previous game’s frantic war against biological experiments gone wrong and hunting for brains, but it seems to go jarringly against what they tried to do with the last outing. For those of you out there who started the series at 4, prepare to be confused. |
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Wanted: Weapons of Fate review (PS3)Reviewed on April 19, 2009Wanted: Weapons of Fate falls quite comfortably into the third-person shooter mold. You can run up to someone and gut him with a squishy-sounding thrust of your knife to his stomach or throat when it suits you, but most of your energy is reserved for the exchange of flying lead as you duck behind destructible bits of the environment and hope that your aim is good enough to wipe out all of the thugs that are gunning for you. If you let yourself run out of ammo, the game can get very frustrating as enemies stand two feet away and pelt you with bullets while you hug a wall that you're using for cover and fiddle with the camera. There's perhaps no sound more frightening than the echo of a hollow chamber when you expected a bang. |
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101-in-1 Explosive Megamix review (DS)Reviewed on April 17, 2009The Explosive Megamix offers up a variety of minigames – sheer volume compels it. Shooting hoops and throwing darts are normal. Reuniting star-crossed lovers by way of catapult is not. If you can find a dozen gems in this electic compilation, then the title is worth its price. The odds are in your favor. |
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Resident Evil 5 review (PS3)Reviewed on April 17, 2009Upon opening one door on their way to the rendezvous point, they encounter their first Ganado.....I mean Majini (same thing, different ethnicity). After blasting it to hell, it doesn't take long for our heroes to find themselves in deep doo-doo, as they get chased around the town by a horde of Majini led by a hulking chap wielding an executioner's axe. The main goal here, at least for a first-time player, is simply to survive long enough for a scripted event to kick in, allowing you to escape unscathed. In other words, it's the early-game village scene from RE 4 with a few minor tweaks. |
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Wheelman review (PS3)Reviewed on April 17, 2009You'll have plenty of opportunities to go up against both gangsters and police as you tour Barcelona. Because Milo is a wheelman, many of the stages naturally involve a lot of interaction with other vehicles at high speeds. Besides leaping from ride to ride, you can stick to the one you currently have and use it like a battering ram. Much of the surrounding environment is more destructible than your current set of wheels, so you'll generally get to exchange a few bumps with your opponent as trees, motorcyclists and park benches fly to either side of your grill like hay swept away by a hurricane. |
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Gegege no Kitarou 2: Youkai Gundan no Chousen review (NES)Reviewed on April 17, 2009Gegege no Kitaro 2(GGG) starts as a simple quest to rescue your girlfriend, but you know how it is in RPGs. The scope gets bigger, and to get her back you have to banish a dragon-fellow named Kyubi Kitsune to save the world or, in this case, an island shaped a lot like Japan. Not that you have to know any Japanese history, or anything about the anime series Gegege stars in. You just cut down monsters, find items, and roam through cool underground caverns to get to places you're not quite suppose... |
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Star Wars: The Force Unleashed review (PS3)Reviewed on April 17, 2009I have been told it is a known scientific fact that as people grow older, films and games tend to increase in greatness as time passes since the last play- through. So that logically, any criticism of newer Star- Wars titles for being vapid and shameless commercial offerings, just without the charm of the old ones, can be dismissed altogether. Either because the audience has now become mature and is no longer enticed by the simplistic plots that never were very good to begin with. Or because the... |
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Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. review (PS3)Reviewed on April 16, 2009Though you may tweak the controls with various assistance features to curb instability, the game never feels right. For the first few hours, you will battle the controls more than the enemy. Funnily enough, the enemies are easy – so easy that there are missions where you’ll spend more time staring at the radar (to locate enemies) than the actual stage. Most enemies can be taken out in two simple steps: (1) lock-on and (2) fire a missile. To increase your success rate, fire two missiles at the same time. |
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Tokyo Beat Down review (DS)Reviewed on April 16, 2009What Tokyo Beat Down does right is all in its script. Developer Success and localizer Atlus know they’re working in a genre filled with clichés and Lewis Cannon’s every word and interaction with NPCs reflects this. They go so far as to name the NPCs things like "Cop who is providing back story" and "guy who is about to get beat up.” There are even multiple endings, and it's to the writer's credit that I'm curious to see what they are and what plot elements they reveal. Unfortunately, you couldn't pay me to play through again. |
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System Shock 2 review (PC)Reviewed on April 16, 2009You could talk for hours about the way System Shock 2 plays - the way its controls feel so human, the way every action has a tangible weight, and the way its many optional approaches are so finely balanced from start to finish - and still not really approach why it's one of gaming's exemplary moments. The shiningly perfect mechanics keep things plodding along nicely, sure, but it's all rather incongruent to the meat and bones of this miraculous FPS/RPG. This is background materia... |
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MadWorld review (WII)Reviewed on April 16, 2009Here’s how amazing MadWorld is: As soon as I finished the game’s first level, I went back and played it again. As opposed to, you know, moving on to the next stage. Whether I was impaling my opponents with street signs, ramming them ass-first through spikes jutting out of the floor, or merely holding them in place as roaring trains violently chafed away at their flesh, I’d been having so much fun exploring the countless methods of bloodily incapacitating my adversaries that I didn’... |
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Progress Quest review (PC)Reviewed on April 15, 2009Have you ever played an RPG for two hours and not managed to get anything done due to trying one more fight before your next save, or just losing your way in a maze, winding up worse off than you started? Perhaps you've spent frustrating time trying to break into a top-ten score list in a shooter or puzzler. Well, with so little guaranteed in this crazy world there are still things you can rely on. Simple things. |
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Beyond Zork review (APP2)Reviewed on April 15, 2009Being an RPG and Zork fan, I was thrilled to learn of Infocom’s plans to combine the two in Beyond Zork (BZ.) You get levels and player stats instead of the usual points for a text adventure, but even crazier, there’s no elvish sword or brass lantern-and most of the game’s completely above ground! Finding your ultimate goal, the Coconut of Quendor, is exhausting, and even with a cluebook, BZ provides many dead ends despite a few too many puzzles that are little more than manual-based copy-protec... |
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Zork II: The Wizard of Frobozz review (APP2)Reviewed on April 15, 2009The Zork series spawned an impressive group of knock-off products which, although never destined to make a killing, made Infocom notorious. The packaging itself was always worth savings, with its jokes and going so far beyond the expected instruction cards(later it would provide a useful stab at copy protection.) The 'New Zork Times,' which later under threat of lawsuit was forced to change its name. And gamebooks that helped me score the most points I'd ever gotten in an Infocom text adventu... |
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Zork III: The Dungeon Master review (APP2)Reviewed on April 15, 2009Sadly, Zork lost its humor and spontaneity somewhere between II and III. The final game, in which you must seek to take over the Dungeon Master's mantle, was a disappointment for me even discounting that the packaging wasn't as cheery as before. Most of its jokes are homages to the first two games, and there are two frighteningly hard puzzles required to win. And the worst part is that, unlike the previous installments, the score is not terribly complex. In Zork I and II you got points for f... |
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Zork: The Great Underground Empire review (APP2)Reviewed on April 15, 2009One of the first computer game series ever starts in front of a white house. You need to discover twenty treasures and find the passage to the sequel, Zork II. There's not a ton of plot, but you'll have to deal with two odd mazes, a lantern that dims as the game goes on(once it goes out, you may be stuck by grues--who engendered the word gruesome, of course--that roam in the darkness,) two opponents, a nasty river and even some undead spirits. There's enough of an assortment of items, from th... |
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Jawbreaker review (APP2)Reviewed on April 15, 2009When I was a kid, I liked playing with a calculator. I had enormous fun finding out that 1/9 was .111 repeating. Then I got brave and found that 1/7 was, in fact, .142857 repeating. Which I made sure of it several times. One crazy day I tried 1/17. It took several long minutes of grueling long division, souring me on calculators. But then I discovered video games, which were even more fun than typing in 773440 on an LCD calculator. As much as I loved arcade games, though, some were mean. Even th... |
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Panzer Dragoon review (SAT)Reviewed on April 12, 2009I'm going to throw you back in time for a few minutes, when the Sega Saturn performed a sneak attack launch on North America. Pretend that you just bought the console, and you've played the hell out of the pack-in game, Virtua Fighter. Of course, playing one fighting game over and over again eventually becomes repetitive, so you go out to buy another Saturn title to invest your time in. What are your choices? Well, there's a port of a racing game that you've played a million times in the arcade,... |
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The King of Fighters '98 Ultimate Match review (PS2)Reviewed on April 12, 2009It'd be easy to declare Ultimate Match a success based on the slick control, absurdly huge roster, energetic visuals, and sweet dual soundtracks. But the thing that truly makes Ultimate Match stand out is SNK Playmore's understanding of fighting game players. |
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