Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Olympic Decathlon review (APP2) Reviewed on July 19, 2009 Everyone knows about the free card games you get with Windows, but they are nothing compared to Microsoft's wonderful early Eighties game, Decathlon. It simulated all ten events of its namesake, and you could practice or play through them all; Decathlon telescoped a grueling two-day affair into an intense thirty minutes. Even friends with the latest consoles enjoyed getting better and almost beating me, and I had fun mostly winning. We took breaks between events, just like real ath...
	Death Sword review (PC) Reviewed on July 19, 2009 DEATH SWORD! That's the kind of name that would grab any 10-year-old's attention, and it sure grabbed mine. I saw this colorful game full of bloody decapitations and bikini babes running on an Apple at Electronics Boutique (R.I.P.), memorized the title that had been unceremoniously Scotch-taped to the monitor, and knew I desperately, desperately needed it.
	One Piece: Going Baseball - Kaizoku Yakyuu review (GBA) Reviewed on July 18, 2009 “This is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball.” Those lines were spoken by the manager of the Durham Bulls in the movie Bull Durham. Although baseball isn't the most cerebrally taxing sport, modern baseball games make America’s pastime seem like a complicated affair for the uninitiated – You have to decide who to start, batting order, when to get the bullpen going, what deodorant the players use, and which back alley dealers they will buy steroids f...
	Confidential Mission review (DC) Reviewed on July 18, 2009 When Confidential Mission, a standard light gun title by Hitmaker, was released, quite a number of creative games in the genre had come and gone. During the mid '90s, Namco unveiled Time Crisis, a game that gave you the ability, with the help of a foot pedal, to take cover from attacks. Silent Scope, by Konami, actually makes you wield a sniper rifle to locate targets from absurd distances. Hell, Police 911, released the same year CM was ported to the Dreamcast, has sensors impleme...
	Munchman review (TI99) Reviewed on July 17, 2009 Many home maze-chomp games in the eighties tried to emulate Pac-Man, maybe adding something, with weird mazes, one-way doors, turning walls, keys and so forth. In theory, at least. Some pretended like giving more frequent extra lives was a big bonus over the arcade, when really they'd just gotten your money anyway. Most barely went beyond adding graphic detail, shifting point values, or changing sounds or the reward in the center. Some subtracted it, like the Atari 2600 port of Pac-Man. Munch...
	Half-Life: Desert Crisis review (PC) Reviewed on July 16, 2009 Blasting someone out of the sky with an electromagnetic beam rifle; making heads explode with twin Desert Eagles while somersaulting through the air; disintegrating someone's entire torso with an over-sized, electrified sledgehammer - these are some of my fondest memories in gaming.
	Kimi ga Nozomu Eien: Special Fan Disk review (PC) Reviewed on July 15, 2009
	Chain: The Lost Footprints review (PC) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Chain: The Lost Footprints tries to offer a different sort of hentai experience. You've only been playing for a few minutes and already you've made two choices. Options don't typically come at the player so frequently in a genre known more for its one-handed play style. For that reason alone, the game initially feels different from the majority of its peers. Finally, you're an active participant instead of a voyeur. Will it continue to hold your interest, though?
	Metal Slug 4 review (ARC) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Lots of words come to mind when I think about SNK's Metal Slug games, and one of the very last is “competent”. Riding an elephant, turning into a zombie—I didn't love this shit because of how well it complemented the gameplay. I loved it because it was fucking insane. An elephant eating chili and incinerating the enemy army with his breath would be the highlight of any other game, but in just one level of Metal Slug 3 it's a distant second to seeing your undead hero melt the flesh off their bone...
	What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord!? review (PSP) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 The retro graphics, retro music, and crazy monster-breeding are as charming as any self-proclaimed "hardcore oldschool" gamer could hope. Unfortunately, none of the game modes really let those who persevere run wild with their hard-earned skills; the time limit is too restrictive and the story mode's soil simply isn't fertile enough to raise a massive army befitting the God of Destruction.
	Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem review (GCN) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 I’m fairly certain that the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced in a video game happened in Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem. In one of the game’s many stops along the timeline of an ancient book detailing the history of a dark, unseen force, I found myself in the shoes of a Persian swordsman named Karim, who was journeying into the desert to claim a legendary treasure for his lover. The Forbidden City that Karim came upon looked startlingly similar to the one I’d explored as Roman sol...
	Sanrio World Smash Ball! review (SNES) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 So, Hello Kitty's Sanrio buddies DO have a competitive side. As the referee, she's above it all, but her pals grimace and showboat after each goal in the soccer and breakout amalgam that is Sanrio World Smash Ball. (SWSB.) It's still wholesome fun, from introductory-round enemies adorably whiffing easy kicks to the four-fruit passcodes for continuing at later matches. It even gets away with elevator music between matches. It's just far more intense than you'd expect from Sanrio.
	Metal Slug 7 review (DS) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Not the handheld trainwreck you might have been expecting.
	Call of Duty: World at War review (X360) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 World at War is a mature and pragmatic representation of World War II.
	Zuma review (PS3) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Zuma is a another budget priced puzzle/'casual' title from Popcap Games. Just like Bejewelled, it's all about making groups of the same colour disappear, but this time it's balls that you're popping, not gems. Please note that, throughout this review, we are avoiding any balls-related puns, because they're, well, balls.
	Gauntlet: Dark Legacy review (GBA) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 In fact, nothing moves quickly. It's hard to be intimidated by enemy generals — gigantic warriors capable of unleashing powerful close-range attacks — when they're plodding towards you with the speed (sans menace) of a George Romero zombie. And the thought of Death draining my life or experience wasn't that terrifying after I realized he was less the grim reaper than a cranky old man with a cane.
	Heavenly Sword review (PS3) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Often, the most powerful sacrifices are made by one, but benefit many.
	Parodius review (SNES) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 Some gamers prefer a realistic gaming experience. Parodius is about as far from realistic as the Detroit Lions are from winning a Super Bowl. This is a space shooter that has your little starship avoiding a giant – albeit lovely – Las Vegas showgirl, surviving tight spaces in a candy crafted castle, warping about the playfield of a pinball machine and even blowing up penguins in a bathhouse brawl. Parodius is absolute nonsense, plain and simple, but I’ve never had so much fun in an...
	Operation Secret Storm review (NES) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 I'm not sure what surprised me more: the fact I only had to deal with seven or eight enemies before encountering the level's boss or that I was fighting the national bird of the United States in Iraq! Perhaps Color Dreams was slyly protesting America's decision to leave the Middle East with Saddam in power by having players beat up a symbol of their country to show they had the mettle to take out the "DICK TATOR". Or perhaps, the programmers were idiots. Considering two later bosses were a genie on a magic carpet and a demonic creature, I'm leaning towards the "idiot" hypothesis.
	Cocoto Platform Jumper review (WII) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 Platform Jumper looks like Rayman, plays like a lethargic Sonic and lifts the arcing attacks/temporary platforms from Rainbow Island. Notably, in aping games of actual worth, it manages to hobble together a Frankenstein’s monster of a title that actually works.

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