Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Billy Bob's Huntin' and Fishin' review (GBC)Reviewed on July 23, 2009There are a lot of games on the Game Boy. As a general rule of thumb, those of us with some sense in our heads tend to shy away from anything with the words "Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen," "Nickelodeon," "Disney" or "port of the thrilling arcade classic!" on the box. Thankfully, this isn't hard, as, despite what the "professionals" may tell us whilst wiping the self-congratulatory jism dribbling out the corner of their mouths, there really aren't that many of those games out there. |
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Dungeons & Dragons: Order of the Griffon review (TG16)Reviewed on July 23, 2009Advanced Dungeons and Dragons (AD&D) provided a formula for RPG's, but unfortunately the licensed computer games focused on the formulas without trying for anything approaching creativity. Order of the Griffon (OotG,) a Turbografx-16 only entry, is fun without being especially good, largely helped by ignoring the more arcane AD&D features nobody cares about. With nothing resembling original plot (hunt down a vampire) or items, and a relatively small world, it sputters along with li... |
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Mirror's Edge review (X360)Reviewed on July 22, 2009The future is not as pleasant as it looks. Underneath its brightly colored and highly reflective surface, a totalitarian government sees fit to monitor the flow of all information and crush any dissent among its citizens. In this world, the only privacy allowed is through use of an elite, underground team of mailmen, specially trained in traversing dense urban landscapes in short periods of time. Known as Runners, or “those who walk in paths not meant for human locomotion”, in Mirro... |
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Viking: Battle for Asgard review (PS3)Reviewed on July 22, 2009I had intentions when I chose Viking: Battle for Asgard. I was in a very clear, very violent mindset when I brought it home. Blind Guardian’s “Battlefield” was my hymn, I resisted the urge to let out a primal, growl of a war cry when I put it in my system, and I prepared myself for what I believed would be an all-out, soul-shattering war from beginning to end. |
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Challenge of the Dragon review (NES)Reviewed on July 22, 2009Meanwhile, you have "Dragon Style Kung Fu", which consists of flailing about with a tiny sword, tapping foes with your foot and executing an amazingly awkward jumping kick. The ghost of David Carradine is not impressed. |
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Homeworld review (PC)Reviewed on July 22, 2009The many skirmishes of Homeworld are punctuated by long periods of cold, dead silence, with the gentle hum of your ships’ engines contributing to it rather than breaking it. There is no sound in vacuum space, of course, and while Homeworld does break this rule, few other games are this adept at conveying such an appropriately quiet atmosphere. For as action-packed as the campaign often is, it’s the frequent stillness that stays with you. |
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Legacy of the Wizard review (NES)Reviewed on July 22, 2009Legacy of the Wizard has a lot going for it: colorful graphics, a rich soundtrack, diverse playable characters, a huge expansive world to explore, and plenty of items to collect and experiment with. While this sounds like a NES classic so far, one key ingredient is missing from the recipe: game play. To put it bluntly, the game play stinks worse than bad dragon breath and therefore spoils the entire dish. |
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Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis review (PS2)Reviewed on July 22, 2009At first, I didn’t believe Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis had what it takes to be epic—or even great. In truth, “good” was all I really expected. |
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Megami Tensei Gaiden: Last Bible II review (GBC)Reviewed on July 21, 2009This is one of those Japanese RPGs that defines the term "under the radar", but hopefully a new (fan) translation will change all that. It was first released in 1993 on the Gameboy and ported to the GBC in 1999, but with few changes, besides the improved colours. Initially there is nothing much of note, just nondescript towns and townspeople, a world map that uses cones for mountains and blue squares to represent towns, and dungeons that are short and mostly uninspired in design. However, if you... |
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Olympic Decathlon review (APP2)Reviewed on July 19, 2009Everyone knows about the free card games you get with Windows, but they are nothing compared to Microsoft's wonderful early Eighties game, Decathlon. It simulated all ten events of its namesake, and you could practice or play through them all; Decathlon telescoped a grueling two-day affair into an intense thirty minutes. Even friends with the latest consoles enjoyed getting better and almost beating me, and I had fun mostly winning. We took breaks between events, just like real ath... |
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Death Sword review (PC)Reviewed on July 19, 2009DEATH SWORD! That's the kind of name that would grab any 10-year-old's attention, and it sure grabbed mine. I saw this colorful game full of bloody decapitations and bikini babes running on an Apple at Electronics Boutique (R.I.P.), memorized the title that had been unceremoniously Scotch-taped to the monitor, and knew I desperately, desperately needed it. |
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One Piece: Going Baseball - Kaizoku Yakyuu review (GBA)Reviewed on July 18, 2009“This is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball.” Those lines were spoken by the manager of the Durham Bulls in the movie Bull Durham. Although baseball isn't the most cerebrally taxing sport, modern baseball games make America’s pastime seem like a complicated affair for the uninitiated – You have to decide who to start, batting order, when to get the bullpen going, what deodorant the players use, and which back alley dealers they will buy steroids f... |
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Confidential Mission review (DC)Reviewed on July 18, 2009When Confidential Mission, a standard light gun title by Hitmaker, was released, quite a number of creative games in the genre had come and gone. During the mid '90s, Namco unveiled Time Crisis, a game that gave you the ability, with the help of a foot pedal, to take cover from attacks. Silent Scope, by Konami, actually makes you wield a sniper rifle to locate targets from absurd distances. Hell, Police 911, released the same year CM was ported to the Dreamcast, has sensors impleme... |
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Munchman review (TI99)Reviewed on July 17, 2009Many home maze-chomp games in the eighties tried to emulate Pac-Man, maybe adding something, with weird mazes, one-way doors, turning walls, keys and so forth. In theory, at least. Some pretended like giving more frequent extra lives was a big bonus over the arcade, when really they'd just gotten your money anyway. Most barely went beyond adding graphic detail, shifting point values, or changing sounds or the reward in the center. Some subtracted it, like the Atari 2600 port of Pac-Man. Munch... |
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Half-Life: Desert Crisis review (PC)Reviewed on July 16, 2009Blasting someone out of the sky with an electromagnetic beam rifle; making heads explode with twin Desert Eagles while somersaulting through the air; disintegrating someone's entire torso with an over-sized, electrified sledgehammer - these are some of my fondest memories in gaming. |
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Kimi ga Nozomu Eien: Special Fan Disk review (PC)Reviewed on July 15, 2009 |
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Chain: The Lost Footprints review (PC)Reviewed on July 15, 2009Chain: The Lost Footprints tries to offer a different sort of hentai experience. You've only been playing for a few minutes and already you've made two choices. Options don't typically come at the player so frequently in a genre known more for its one-handed play style. For that reason alone, the game initially feels different from the majority of its peers. Finally, you're an active participant instead of a voyeur. Will it continue to hold your interest, though? |
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Metal Slug 4 review (ARC)Reviewed on July 15, 2009Lots of words come to mind when I think about SNK's Metal Slug games, and one of the very last is “competent”. Riding an elephant, turning into a zombie—I didn't love this shit because of how well it complemented the gameplay. I loved it because it was fucking insane. An elephant eating chili and incinerating the enemy army with his breath would be the highlight of any other game, but in just one level of Metal Slug 3 it's a distant second to seeing your undead hero melt the flesh off their bone... |
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What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord!? review (PSP)Reviewed on July 15, 2009The retro graphics, retro music, and crazy monster-breeding are as charming as any self-proclaimed "hardcore oldschool" gamer could hope. Unfortunately, none of the game modes really let those who persevere run wild with their hard-earned skills; the time limit is too restrictive and the story mode's soil simply isn't fertile enough to raise a massive army befitting the God of Destruction. |
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Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem review (GCN)Reviewed on July 15, 2009I’m fairly certain that the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced in a video game happened in Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem. In one of the game’s many stops along the timeline of an ancient book detailing the history of a dark, unseen force, I found myself in the shoes of a Persian swordsman named Karim, who was journeying into the desert to claim a legendary treasure for his lover. The Forbidden City that Karim came upon looked startlingly similar to the one I’d explored as Roman sol... |
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