Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Jurassic Park: The Lost World review (ARC) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 I had a pleasant experience a little while ago: I was exploring a mall I’d never been to before, found an arcade, and located a running Jurassic Park: The Lost World machine. I hadn’t seen the light gun shooter since they removed it from the arcade near my own home years ago, and ever the victim of nostalgia, I decided to spend what I thought would be “just a few quarters” on it. Not only did I invest more time in the game than I’d anticipated, but I actually played alarmingly well, espec...
	The Orange Box review (PC) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 A year or two ago, I wrote a review for the console version of The Orange Box. In it, I threw around a few colorful adjectives for the first four games in the package, before coming to a halt with Team Fortress 2. I didn’t have Xbox Live at the time (and still don’t), and as such, I could merely say, “I haven’t really played this one, but I’ve heard it’s awesome, so there you go.” I have since spent more time with the PC rendition of Team Fortress 2 than nearly any other gam...
	Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatar review (PC) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 Man's quest for enlightenment and knowledge has lead him to explore the farthest reaches of the known universe. Now one man, and his companions, will venture forth to seek the knowledge that has eluded the people of Britania for so long: The Codex of Ultimate wisdom.
	New Super Mario Bros. Wii review (WII) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 Some features go a long way toward making New Super Mario Bros. Wii the best installment that the franchise has ever seen, plus the sheer number of unique stages makes it one of the most robust. However, there are some issues that definitely hold things back and rob the game of the prestigious title that nearly belonged to it. Namely, the physics are wonky, the level design is frustrating and the highly anticipated multi-player mode is a disappointment under any but the perfect conditions.
	James Cameron's Avatar: The Game review (X360) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 While I've seen terms like "revolutionary" and "breathtaking" tossed at the movie with regularity, the game is more worthy of commentary such as "another movie license game". It's pretty and I had a decent time with it, but I can't say that it's anything more than a decent action title riding the coattails of a major cinematic release.
	Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders review (PC) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 Before Sam, Max and Guybrush, Zak McKracken saved the world from stupidity in LucasArts's first PC/SCUMM engine point-and-click farce. The rough edges are evident, but so are the laughs, and Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders (ZM) even manages to poke fun at mistakes a lot of point-and-click games make today. I laughed at the jokes even though a walkthrough tipped them off--a credit to ZM's bizarre graphics and polished absurdism.
	The Saboteur review (PS3) Reviewed on December 30, 2009 Tragedy makes simple people do strange things.
	Uncharted 2: Among Thieves review (PS3) Reviewed on December 29, 2009 Originally, “interactive movies” described games like Dragon’s Lair: literal movies where you pressed a button at the right time to keep watching the movie. In the late 90s, the concept of an “interactive movie” morphed into a hybrid consisting of segregated “movie” and “game” parts. You play for a minute, watch a really long cutscene, continue playing, long cutscene, etc. The story unfolds in the “movie” parts and all of the coolest scenes require no input from the player. The status quo has re...
	Wrath of Denethenor review (APP2) Reviewed on December 29, 2009 Wrath of Denethenor seems to be Sierra's attempt to do Ultima II right the second time. Dying's tougher, and instead of time periods, your lone character moves from one world to the next. Unforunately, the formula's apparent: talk to king, beat up monsters, get better armor and weapons, steal a boat in plain view, and move to the next world. The outside's too black-and-white, and the inside's too orange. The keyboard controls are bizarre alphabet soup even by 80s standards, and sim...
	Disgaea 2: Dark Hero Days review (PSP) Reviewed on December 29, 2009 If you're a fan of complex strategy games and missed out on the PlayStation 2 version, be sure that you don't make the same mistake the second time around!
	LEGO Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues review (PS3) Reviewed on December 28, 2009 Including bits from the original three movies was a wise decision on the part of the developers, but they also had to worry about not repeating the first game. The result is that some of the best scenes from those movies—most of them—aren't represented here. That certainly doesn't help the narrative and it may leave players wondering why there's a level devoted to Indiana and his father tied to chairs while flames burn around them. That was a neat scene in the third movie but here there's no urgency and the whole thing comes across as just another excuse for some exploration and puzzle solving.
	Vay review (SCD) Reviewed on December 28, 2009 While you can only venture as far as the plot will allow, you never really feel restricted because of the ramped up difficulty in each new area. For example, you can’t pass through Danek-infested Fort Gilan without Pottle to reveal the secret passage. But once you enter it, the monsters within grow significantly in strength. You’ll likely die often just trying to raise levels, but, like any RPG, the path becomes manageable once your skills have improved.
	Avalon Code review (DS) Reviewed on December 28, 2009 The world is doomed. That’s it. Done. Show’s over, folks. Nothing more to see here. Biblical stories predict how everything will be scoured by fire, and how it will be cleansed and purged in holy flames. They reveal how mankind will be judged, and what will be left behind in the wake that burning, final cataclysm. Not exactly the most peaceful way to end things, but hey, it’s not up to us. Now that whatever god in charge has made its decision - and it’s pretty clear there won’t be any last-minut...
	Quattro Arcade review (NES) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 Quattro Arcade, being a compilation, was one of those games nobody wanted to finish for the NES FAQ Completion Project. In attempting to give something of everything, compilation carts invariably serve up one game that just stinks. Too many NES multi-game carts feature games with too few levels or too little attention to graphics or, in Action 52's case, both. I'm not aware of any perfect cross-genre compilation, but QA is clearly above average.
	Xyphus review (C64) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 In Xyphus--part hexagonal board game, part RPG--four character tokens move across six lands in succession. Finally, they kill the demon Xyphus with his own heart, behind an invisible maze. Strategy rules: forget towns, separate combat screens, tenuous or reheated riddles, or experience mills. Supplies are limited. So are enemies and magic. Death kills.
	221B Baker Street review (PC) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 The problem with many text adventures is that you can only solve them once. Even the creative geniuses at Infocom could only fit in so many alternate solutions, in-jokes and Easter Eggs. 221B Baker Street offers thirty such adventures, each with fixed solutions. Memory constraints ensure they are neither worth remembering or replaying, or both. In this board game-slash-text adventure within a miniature London, even Inspector Lestrade could notice the too-evident formula, which culminates ...
	Yo! Noid review (NES) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 The Noid is surely the dorkiest hero I've controlled in a while. He's Matt Groening's Bongo the Rabbit in red with a goofy buck-toothed smile, flinging his yo-you at equally odd enemies. Unlike his commercial counterpart, he prefers eating pizzas to ruining them. And saving the city will get him a few! Well, it's a better reward than a burger for saving the President.
	Yamaha Supercross review (DS) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 It’s easy to make mistakes on the windier tracks that task you with straightening quickly from a sharp corner to fly into a sadistically placed camel hump, but it’s all the game really has. Mistakes are not punished harshly, nor outstanding lines rewarded thanks to the rubber band racing physics that ensure the pack of rival riders are neither too far ahead or too far behind you.
	Lunar: Dragon Song review (DS) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 Without any real depth to the characters aside from the obligatory teenage spunkiness and sugary-sweet sense of justice in their battle for racial tolerance, and their efforts to prove themselves worthy, just about everything that the Lunar franchise had been previously built upon has been thrown to the side to make room for ideas that I can only assume Game Arts discovered while rooting around in other developer’s trash for discarded gimmicks they knew would never work.
	Final Fantasy IV review (DS) Reviewed on December 26, 2009 So I was engaged in rare event: purchasing a new game that I might actually play. I looked upon the shelf, next to the sloppily produced Dragon Warrior Monsters (oh god, not another one of these) laid a lone copy of Final Fantasy IV (FF II on SNES). Filled with nostalgia from my childhood, I couldn’t let this opportunity to relive my past go. I had to buy it, no matter how bad it could possibly be. After all, gaming’s history is marred with inadequate remakes, taking one’s childhood memo...

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