Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Our House: Party! review (WII) Reviewed on February 07, 2010 What makes things even worse is that they are sandwiched between several load screens that are disguised to trick you into believing that they contain useful or exciting information. You'll soon learn better. Pre-game tutorials explain how you're supposed to proceed through the challenge at hand, but the examples on-screen have little in common with the diversions that actually follow. The result is that you're never prepared for what comes next until you've played the game frequently enough to figure things out on your own. Your first experience with any mode feels like trying to kiss a porcupine's butt in the dark.
	Moero!! Downhill Night review (PC) Reviewed on February 07, 2010 Here you're not racing against testosterone-fueled gearheads; you're going against girls whose only thrill in life is speed. There's just one catch. You don't get to drive.
	Bionic Commando review (X360) Reviewed on February 06, 2010 I liked it when Bionic Commando was simply a game. You control a guy with shades and red hair, you fight Nazis (or their equivalent), and you save a guy named Super Joe. The bionic arm you used was one of those brilliant game mechanics that would have revolutionized the industry if it didn’t feel so singular and unique. Maybe I’m still too young to reminisce about “the good old days,” but this is what gaming used to be about. Exposition in games was once used to set the groundwork for ...
	Shadow of the Beast review (TGCD) Reviewed on February 06, 2010 When I borrowed a Turbo Duo back in 1993, I cycled through over a dozen games in the span of two days. While most of those 48 hours became a blur, a few moments stood out; Shadow of the Beast's conceptually simple title screen was one. Grass gorgeously scrolls underneath the beast's feet as clouds pass overhead, and the quiet soundtrack — initially a simple series of bells — gradually becomes an epic showcase of strong percussion, evocative wind pipes, and resounding chimes. It's simple but inspired.
	Phantasy Star Ø review (DS) Reviewed on February 05, 2010 Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: Phantasy Star Ø is Phantasy Star Online, only it's not.
	Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy review (PC) Reviewed on February 05, 2010 Perhaps the biggest problem isn't the limited nature of the building, though; it's the backtracking. When you first arrive, you'll make the rounds as you get acquainted with your new classmates. That takes a lot of time, since at first it can be easy to head down the wrong hallway and find yourself at a dead end. Once you know your way around, which may not happen until you've played for a few hours, you'll still find yourself wearing holes in the hallway carpet because you're covering the same ground so frequently. Instead of a resourceful sleuth, you'll feel like an errand girl.
	Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 review (PS3) Reviewed on February 05, 2010 When it’s not trying to congratulate itself on the supposed brilliance of its subtext, Modern Warfare 2 remains one of the tightest titles on the market.
	Polar Panic review (X360) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 With his home destroyed and family captured, this Ursus maritimus snuffs out Globoco, one life at a time. Sounds like the setup for a gruesome action adventure, but Polar Panic is actually an adorable puzzler. Murder may be the main goal, but the animated adversaries make sure it isn't morbid.
	MAG: Massive Action Game review (PS3) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 As the battles progress, they prove to be too large to happen the same way every time, but also orderly enough not to be complete chaos. While you're not directly influencing the battle elsewhere all the time, you are still aware of and often depend on the other players there to complete the missions. Whether you rise to become a leader, or a good soldier.
	FIFA Soccer 10 review (X360) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 The referee will even miss fouls, be inconsistent with bookings and red cards, and make incorrect calls of offside from time to time and, while that annoys the hell out of me when it doesn’t go my way, I can’t help but hugely appreciate the way EA have shoehorned an element of human error into computer-controlled official.
	NBA Live 10 review (PS3) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 The characters in this year's game move with more faithfulness to their real-life counterparts. The difference isn't huge, but it's there and it's just one of many tweaks that I absolutely appreciate. Other upgrades have also been made to things like the pick-and-roll control, opponent AI, blocking, dribbling, foul mechanics, rebounding, character models, sweat shading (you know you love it when the players glisten credibly), arenas, lighting and everything in between. I can confidently say that if you were to pinpoint every minor change, type up a comprehensive list and print it out on paper, you'd fill several pages.
	No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle review (WII) Reviewed on February 02, 2010 Some have said No More Heroes is like nothing you've seen before. Unfortunately, fans can't say the same for its sequel. It often feels like a budget-priced, sugar-free facsimile of the original; less of a time investment, but ultimately less satisfying. That being said, I enjoyed Desperate Struggle enough to know that newcomers will be floored by its action and insanity.
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on February 01, 2010 I've rarely played a game that prides itself on being "punk". Grasshopper Manufacture even revamped their logo with the motto "Punk's Not Dead" to reflect this brand new attitude. Yet it's not like Suda 51 changed styles. In essence, the demented game designer has been making punk games all along with his unconventional fusion of abstract pop art and minimalist game design. The only problem was he never had an image to fit his style...
	Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - The Crystal Bearers review (WII) Reviewed on February 01, 2010 The biggest flaw facing those who give The Crystal Bearers a chance is the way that the game requires so much tedious backtracking. Though the world that you'll explore throughout your adventure is beautiful, it's relatively small. That should mean that you almost never get lost, but it turns out that the available map is a lot like a blond airhead: fun to look at but useless in a jam. With that being the case, you'll need to rely on signposts that pepper the various roadways.
	Sonic Unleashed review (X360) Reviewed on January 31, 2010 At first, I couldn't figure this game out. I mean, in the few moments of clarity in which I felt like I could get my head around the possible thought processes that might lead to a game like Sonic Unleashed, I caught myself wondering how the two completely contradictory ideas therein even came to exist within a single development team working on a single game, and then I had to reboot.
	Technomage: Return to Eternity review (PSX) Reviewed on January 31, 2010 So, who has heard of Technomage? Admittedly, the very fact that you are reading this heavily suggests that you do, but you have to admit, this was a very quietly released game, made by the German company Sunflower. Again, not heard of them? It's okay, neither had I. So, an all but unheard of game, made by an all but unheard of company. This never bodes well.
	Joshua and the Battle of Jericho review (NES) Reviewed on January 30, 2010 Given Wisdom Tree's notoriety in retro circles, their take on the mediocre puzzler Crystal Mines should not have been any good. Yet while most of Wisdom Tree's games copied from other genres and forced Bibilical stuff in, most of Joshua's hundred levels create small stories so it doesn't feel like just an action puzzler. Though the puzzles are quite good too, as Joshua blasts around with his trumpet (how Jericho was destroyed, you know,) collecting five question blocks and adequate...
	Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgment review (X360) Reviewed on January 30, 2010 On one level, Flames of Judgment proudly lives up to the original's standard. This Live Arcade release did bring me back down memory lane a few times. The problem is that it didn't do so for very long. The average turn-based strategy game I've played seems to have about 25-35 main quest battles. Here, there's about 15 or so.
	Half-Minute Hero review (PSP) Reviewed on January 29, 2010 Told in a generational sort of manner that's reminiscent of a more expanded Dragon Quest V, the plot in Half-Minute Hero won't win any awards for narrative originality. It obviously isn't trying to, either. Instead, it has fun rushing players through a laundry list of RPG cliches. The rapid-fire nature of plot twists prevents every 'surprise' from growing tiresome, even when you saw it coming whole seconds ahead of time, because you're constantly moving to a new location or task.
	Mass Effect 2 review (X360) Reviewed on January 28, 2010 Defending Mass Effect has never been easy, since the game’s unpolished mechanics, cumbersome driving segments and barren, repetitive environments form a strong case against it. The case against it is so strong, in fact, that I often have questioned my own enthusiastic evaluation of the game. So thank you, BioWare. Thank you for taking all of the criticism to heart, for fixing nearly everything that was wrong with the first game and for giving me a sequel for which I no longer need to make excuses. Mass Effect 2 is as extraordinary as its predecessor was, but it no longer needs justification. It really is that good.

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