Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Doom review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2010 Doom has evolved into its very own software platform, and because of that, all of its straightforward console versions would be useless even if most of them weren't wretched. Most of iD's original maps are great, sure, but I'd have stopped playing years ago if that's all there was. It only takes one or two trips through each before you're wise to the tricks and sleepwalking through the traps. No, Doom owes its absurd longevity to all of the user-made maps that are still being churned out even in...
	The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker review (GCN) Reviewed on July 09, 2010 Expectations can be dangerous, especially when what you get is not what you wanted. The real tragedy is that sometimes what you get is actually better than what you wanted, but you’re simply unable to see it. Ten years ago, there was a tech demo for the GameCube showcasing its power. One of the videos shown was a realistic styled adult Link and Ganondorf locked in an epic duel. Even though it was just a video that ran for about a minute to show what the console could do, and not a trailer of any...
	Doom review (SNES) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 After mere moments of playing through the first level of the first (of three) episodes, I was wondering if my killing machine of a space marine had been replaced by Stephen Hawking. You will move really slowly and choppily through levels AND the controls aren't responsive. There's a brief delay between you using the control pad and your character actually moving, which isn't a very desirable thing in an action game.
	Super Mario Galaxy review (WII) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Here’s what you know. You know that when you tilt the analog stick, Mario will run in that direction. You know that pressing the A button makes Mario jump, and that if you land on top of a monster, that monster will disintegrate and drop a coin. You’re probably aware that Mario is frequently tasked with collecting stars, and that this endeavor will eventually lead to the rescue of Princess Peach from the clutches of the ever-persistent Bowser. These are the basics, and they are likely the only a...
	Diddy Kong Racing review (N64) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Diddy Kong Racing smartly mimics SMK’s well-founded principles while expanding in different directions. To call it just a go-cart racer gives too little credit. As if it were no big thing, DKR boldly introduces the physics of plane and hovercraft travel to the genre while replicating the slide-turn techniques that separated the wheat from the chaff in SNES carting, casually switching between all three vehicles throughout. You’ll be tearing around the rocky orange cliffs of prehistoric Fossil Canyon, skidding past waterfalls and between the stomping feet of a ponderous Brontosaurus, and in the very next race take to the skies, navigating around snow-capped firs and splitting icy gorges at the Snowfrost Peak circuit.
	Wheelman review (PC) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 In so many ways, The Wheelman is a fitting title to mark the final major product released by the now defunct Midway Games. Riddled with references to the gems of the company’s past, the game has all of the classic trappings – good and bad – of Midway’s massive library of releases. What that means for players is that you’ll occasionally smile when you see “SPYHNTR” or “JOUST” on a license plate, but for the better part of the game, you’ll have to suffer through an incredibly dull experie...
	Dead Rising review (X360) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Frank West is a photojournalist, but I think he played a bit of football in college. I say this because in Dead Rising Frank bludgeons, maims, shoots, and burns more zombies than any Redfield has. Sensing a juicy story, Frank heads to a small Colorado town recently closed off by the military. Upon arrival, he discovers the source of the quarantine: zombies, zombies, and more zombies. Fortunately Frank has taken a page from a George Romero’s script and found refuge at the local shopping ma...
	System Shock review (PC) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 It's true that the interface is clumsy, with far too much dragging and dropping going on. But away from the peripherals, here remains a game of survival horror resource management, careful RPG stat-planning, and basic but tactical first-person action. It weaves these threads together into something so wholly representative of developer Looking Glass' style that, even above Ultima Underworld and Thief, you'd point to System Shock as the prime example of what this wonderful studio created.
	Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 Portable review (PSP) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Persona 3 and Persona 3 FES both arrived much too late in the PlayStation 2's life cycle. The current console generation was already well under way and new releases on that platform were regularly being overlooked in favor of the titles on newer systems. That’s definitely a shame. Persona 3 is one of the last generation’s greatest RPGs. Hopefully this latest version, Persona 3 Portable for the PSP, will get the attention it deserves.
	Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty review (PS2) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Regarding Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty I have a dilemma. It’s not a bad game by any means, but it just doesn’t have the same flair its predecessor had. It’s true that some features, like stealth and basic combat, are remarkably improved. However, its storytelling has gone completely in the wrong direction.
	Castlevania II: Simon's Quest review (NES) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Simon Belmont is dying. The once great champion of the Belmont family- the man who killed Dracula and saved the world - is coming to a cruel and painful demise. He can barely hold his legendary whip anymore. Not just because he’s grown weak, but because his body can’t handle the movements. His old wounds are still aching. His muscles are slowly rotting off his bones. His skin has become pale, lifeless. It’s not old age; it’s only been seven years since the first game. It’s something far worse: D...
	Castlevania review (NES) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 Dracula is alive. Well, as much as a vampire can be. He’s spent at least a century rotting inside of a coffin, but that doesn’t stop him from getting back into the swing of things. Now that he’s been resurrected, he can continue with his favorite pastimes. Ruling over his vast, magical estate of Castlevania. Restoring the decrepit ruins of his home. Tending to his menagerie of mythical, demonic creatures. Getting in touch with old friends, regardless if they’re still living. Spreading his evil ...
	Sin & Punishment: Star Successor review (WII) Reviewed on July 08, 2010 They never should have sent Isa Jo. He was just a rookie. A child, compared to the other soldiers. But that wasn’t the problem; he could’ve handled the mission. The objective was simple: destroy the enemy recon unit from the other dimension. That’s all. Isa had both the weapons and combat skills to get the job done. As the son of the protagonists of the original Sin and Punishment, he was also far stronger than a regular human. He could have killed his target on sight…but he didn’t. He wa...
	Deus Ex: The Conspiracy review (PS2) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 In my opinion, the whole history of the human race has been one long succession of conspiracies. To deceive ourselves , we call the successful conspiracies “governments.”
	Twisted Metal: Head On - Extra Twisted Edition review (PS2) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 I'm going to start off this review by saying that Twisted Metal: Head On is not a bad game. The reason I believe it belongs in the bargain bin is because it simply does not have enough substance to be worth the price of a full console game. Maybe this is because it has been ported over from a PSP game, and while there have been some additions; it still falls short of what should be a full release. Fans of Twisted Metal have wanted another console release, and this port of a PSP game is what they...
	Super Mario Galaxy 2 review (WII) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 I’ll be honest: I don’t like Mario. Never have. I believed the thought of a chubby super-powered plumber who jumped on the heads of his enemies was silly. And my distaste was marred even further by the fact that—barring a few exceptions—the structure never changed. Bowser was always the antagonist, Peach was always in peril and it was up to Mario to save her.
	The Godfather II review (PS3) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 Battles are won before a single shot is fired, business taken without so much as a pride-obliterating pimp slap and the game completed without effort or, ultimately, interest.
	Naughty Bear review (X360) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 Each new weapon has a kill animation to go with it, but none of those animations are all that amusing after the first three or four times that you see them. I enjoy pouncing on an over-sized bear and hacking apart his face with an ax as much as the next guy, but the game's cover artwork looks substantially more depraved than the final product actually feels. Where's the crimson, or at least a cloud of puff? These are the blandest ax murders you'll ever see, hands down. Unless you're switching weapons constantly (and perhaps even then), you could easily tire of the animations before you even finish the first of the game's many repetitive stages.
	Myst review (PSP) Reviewed on July 06, 2010 This is a bad port. It’s not broken, like Syberia DS, or a drastic departure from the original, like Deus Ex: The Conspiracy. It is pointless, though. Helplessly pointless. I can’t figure out the rationale behind releasing it. Midway Games has taken an ancient game, rereleased it in the wrong aspect ratio on a tinier screen, and shoved in a level from the last full remake of the game... a remake which f...
	Heavy Rain review (PS3) Reviewed on July 06, 2010 It was destined for debate the moment it hit shelves—or perhaps even prior. A game that isn’t a game at all, described by its own designers as “an interactive drama” where the player takes complete control, even over the most menial of tasks like drinking orange juice or shaving. Some may see it as brilliant, others may call it foolish but I don’t think any can argue that Heavy Rain was one of a kind.

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