Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Krazy Kreatures review (NES) Reviewed on January 30, 2011 Imagine a modern match-three mobile game, except waaaaay dated.	2.5/5
	Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time review (PC) Reviewed on January 27, 2011 Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time wants to tantalize you with inventive gameplay and a fabulous 2D side scroller environment like a viewing into the past. However, one fatal flaw brings the whole construct crashing down. Building different devices to survive the hazards of the future is an intriguing idea, one crushed by shaky and inconsistent physics.	2/5
	Xexyz review (NES) Reviewed on January 24, 2011 Humanity nearly wiped itself clean off the map, and the Mother Nature attempted to aid the process with a few hundred natural disasters. Peaceful fairies then came along and built a nation on the bones and smoldering ruins of humanity and called it Xexyz. To keep peace and order, they established five cute anime girls as princesses, and everyone lived happily ever after.	3.5/5
	Cave Story review (WII) Reviewed on January 19, 2011 I knew after ages of searching through scores of dull family games, pointless platformer reboots, and obscure puzzle games that I would find a WiiWare game actually worth the price of admission. This game, ladies and gentlemen, is Cave Story. Never mind that this game is free on PC, the Wii version gives us a few new goodies, as well as updated graphics and sounds, the ability to use a controller instead of relying on a keyboard, and the same amazing gameplay that make it worth the $12 ...	4.5/5
	WWF: Betrayal review (GBC) Reviewed on January 16, 2011 Just what I wanted: a WWE game where you wrestle the backstage crew.	1.5/5
	The Magic of Scheherazade review (NES) Reviewed on January 14, 2011 Leap off that steed and cast away that shining armor. It's time to take the hot sands, to don a turban and wield a scimitar with deadly grace. Leave behind those fantasies that have been final for fourteen games or those quests of the dragon kind, and delve into The Magic of Scheherazade. It's a wonderful RPG that maintains the sword and sorcery feel, yet changes the setting all together. It's not set in a world like medieval times, but more akin to Arabian Nights. With much t...	5/5
	Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure No. 1: Chaos at the Carnival review (C64) Reviewed on January 10, 2011 If you're a seeker of esoterica or a man with a penchant for playing poorly made license titles, then Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival is just the ticket. It's the crème de la crème of awful. Most wouldn't expect much of a Muppet game, maybe mediocrity at best, but I'm sure few would expect to be at the very bottom of the gaming totem pole. It's a license title with hardly any elements that attach it to its source material, loaded with just about every gaming flaw y...	0.5/5
	Archon review (NES) Reviewed on January 05, 2011 Conquest! That supreme notion that you have overcome your opponents, that the ground you walk on is now yours, and that all your opponents can do is cry and bleed. Ha-ha, you might laugh. My knights have cut your goblins to ribbons. My unicorns now frolic in the fields littered with the body parts of your manitcores. This is war, this is Archon. It's a strategy game that wins for being simple and addictive, despite being too easy.	3.5/5
	8 Eyes review (NES) Reviewed on January 02, 2011 Everyone compares 8 Eyes to Castlevania, and gamers are split down the middle on which is better. If you couldn't tell by my score, I'm of the “Castlevania is better” persuasion. Both games are marked for having extreme challenge, though the implementation of the challenge differs in both. Castlevania has simple gameplay, but would rather give you difficult situations that require timing and skill. It's m...	2.5/5
	The Adventures of Star Saver review (GB) Reviewed on December 30, 2010 Imagine: a run 'n gun game where you play as a tough LAPD cop who looks like he's twelve, surrounded by giant pill bugs, vicious cartoony dogs, and killer music notes, your trusty standard issue handgun drawn and your sentient mech sidekick at your side. Do I sense the makings for a buddy cop film? The landscape is wondrous, but the alien world they are on looks forbidding. The two are grateful to have one another. They know their trials will be many, but don't realize they won't be very try...	3/5
	Wizards & Warriors review (NES) Reviewed on December 26, 2010 High fantasy hits all-time lows	1.5/5
	In the Hunt review (ARC) Reviewed on December 16, 2010 Even though you successfully blast the first few enemies out of the water and dodge their attacks, you still notice two things off the bat. One is that you move somewhat slowly. Understandable, what with being underwater and all. The other is that you cannot hold the fire button down to rapid fire, but must repeatedly press the button.	3/5
	MadWorld review (WII) Reviewed on December 08, 2010 Our man Jack isn't just dismembering for the hell of it. He's a man on a mission, sent to an isolated island where a bloody sport is being held. The citizens of the island have all become contestants of Death Watch, a game in which contestants kill one another for a crack at the championship. Jack poses as a contestant at first, but over time we see what he's really after. More is revealed that thickens the plot and gives the game that much more depth and style. It's refreshing to play and over-...	4/5
	Powerpuff Girls: Battle Him review (GBC) Reviewed on December 04, 2010 Most savvy gamers will know by looking at Powerpuff Girls: Battle Him what the game entails: tedious gameplay, dry combat, incessant collecting, and a lackluster fun factor. It's not bias that causes this, but experience. Many of us have played too many awful license titles for handheld systems, and know a bad purchase when we see one. It should be no surprise that combining all aforementioned factors nets you one shallow game.	1.5/5
	Custer's Revenge review (A2600) Reviewed on December 01, 2010 It's not just that this game is boring to play, but it's a complete waste of time. Custer's Revenge is worth taking a peek if only to have your curiosity satisfied. That's about it.	1/5
	London Blitz review (A2600) Reviewed on November 29, 2010 Most games have you taking lives, but how many games have you saving them? London Blitz (LB) thrusts you onto the streets of WWII era London to disarm bombs before they can take lives or cause any major property damage. The more bombs you disarm, the higher a rank you become. Wait too long and bombs go off. This spells a demotion for you. Be careful because if a bomb goes off while you're working on it... Well, it won't tickle.	3/5
	The Legend of Kage review (NES) Reviewed on November 26, 2010 Turning on the NES that day cleared the room. The instant the grating music kicked in and that faceless woman in a red kimono strutted across the screen and was carried away by a ninja, my brother left the room. He said something about his ears and broken glass, but I didn't catch the whole thing. I was too entranced in Legend of Kage. It wasn't that the game was so enjoyable that it took me away and thrust me into that state of euphoria commonly associated with Contra or Super Mario Bros. 3...	2.5/5
	Silent Assault review (NES) Reviewed on November 18, 2010 Of all the games someone could possibly clone, why Rush'n Attack? The game is already considered by some to be an offshoot of Contra, and it's not a particularly classic game, yet Sachen developed a pretty raw unlicensed title for the NES called Silent Assault that borrows many elements of both games. The title is fitting, as few people know of its existence. The development feels reckless and almost untested, and the graphics, sounds, and all around planning felt very scraped together. It's th...	1/5
	Clash At Demonhead review (NES) Reviewed on November 16, 2010 Clash at Demonhead is a wild ride, featuring shades of run 'n gun games like Contra and adventure games like Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest. 40+ interconnected "routes" make up the game. It does not flow in a linear pattern. Instead, completing a route will give you access to a few other connected routes, which in turn give you access to other routes. Like Simon's Quest, the object is not simply to complete every level, but to search and discover until you reach the end of the game.	4/5
	Win, Lose or Draw review (NES) Reviewed on November 12, 2010 When you play dated party games, everyone loses.	1/5

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