Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by EmP and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Operation Thunderbolt review (ARC)Reviewed on June 24, 2008 |
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Splatterhouse review (ARC)Reviewed on June 14, 2008I didn't think I'd be smacking rotting zombies to death with their own limbs or smashing corpses hung from nooses like macabre piñatas wide open with axes. When a disturbing individual with a cloth bag tied over its head assaulted me with twin chainsaws where its hands should have be, it gave me quite a start. This was an arcade cabinet set next door the The Simpson's brawler; kids were watching! |
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Revolution X review (ARC)Reviewed on June 11, 2008Maybe I feel sorry because it gives me less of a chance to rip on the idea of a heavy-duty assault rifle's secondary weapon hurling CD's so destructive they effortlessly destroy APCs. And helicopters Maybe I feel robbed of the opportunity to tell you how Revolution X is set in a world that revolves around Areosmith, while, at the same time, hates Aerosmith so much that a dedicated group hell-bent on their silence grew large enough to effortlessly capture the planet. |
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Dracula: Origin review (PC)Reviewed on June 10, 2008Torchlight flickers ominously, shifting the shadows cast by ghostly slivers of light invading the darkness through a network of cracks in the ancient ceiling. A silver tomb sits surrounded by a slew of human remains; bared ribcages, chewed femurs, a shattered skull. An unholy groan emits from the coffin and, from an exposed hole in the corner snakes a rotting arm, longingly reaching for you. If a hungry immortal was not enough, behind the undead monster floats a malevolent green fog, one completely impassable without knowing the rite of passage. These events may not have come from Stoker’s pen, but may as well have. |
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Ys Strategy review (DS)Reviewed on May 26, 2008This becomes most apparent in the campaign mode battles, which seem to be aimed at an advanced tutorial rather than the driving force behind Ys Strategy. You’ll constantly switch forces throughout the game, playing as Abel’s allies (and, sometimes, foes) giving you a quick glimpse at the sparse changes of powers promised by each team. Which, basically, amounts to there being very little change in your tactics throughout the campaign. |
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Sam & Max 205: What's New, Beelzebub? review (PC)Reviewed on May 09, 2008Let's get the forewarning over with now: if you've not been playing Season 2, then the end chapter is not the place to start. In fact, you shouldn't really be reading this: I just spoiled the ending of 203 by revealing the death of the villain. |
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Hurry Up Hedgehog! review (DS)Reviewed on May 06, 2008Hurry Up Hedgehog is instead a modest title based upon some German board game I’m not even going to try and spell. It presents players with a grid full of pits and challenges them to get three of their four hedgehogs to the other side before any of the other teams can. Along the way, you need to try and push your opposition’s hedgehogs out of the way (and, ideally, into pits) while trying to navigate the safest route through the obstacles and opposition. |
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Secret Files: Tunguska review (WII)Reviewed on May 05, 2008In one scenario, a Russian military hospital that has Nina imprisoned in a rat-infested cell with only a stinking foam mattress for company, Max flies out to the rescue (for some reason, in Tunguska, everyone has a plane license, despite their profession) allowing the two to work together as a team, swapping items between the two as they may need to, attacking the hospital from two different locations. It’s hardly a new idea, but it’s one that forces you to think at things from a slightly different angle. Then it’s over, Nina is sprung, and this teamwork is never used again. |
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Utawarerumono review (PC)Reviewed on May 03, 2008Utawarerumono doesn’t start off particularly promising, and you’d be forgiven in thinking that, based upon its archetype-ridden beginnings, it would drown in a flood of clichés well before it hits endgame. But you would be largely mistaken. |
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Bomberman Land review (WII)Reviewed on April 27, 2008Thing is, if you can dig through the gloopy mire of problems that plague Bomberman Land then you can find a decent collection of mini-games to play though. And, if you don’t have the patience, then you can simply fall back on the tried and trusted Bomberman game of old where you try the explode fellows bombers in a claustrophobic room rife with power-ups. |
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Sam & Max 204: Chariots of the Dogs review (PC)Reviewed on April 14, 2008We’re now at the point where the game even makes fun of itself for these limitations, and, while taking pot-shots at the forth wall is a Sam & Max staple, it’s a little hard to poke fun at crimes you commit yourself. Get ready for the jarring change of tone, though, folks, I’m about to tell you why I loved Chariots of the Dogs anyway. |
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Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core review (WII)Reviewed on April 05, 2008The all-new Wii exclusive controls, advertised as the game’s most poignant selling point, is really the only reason you might want to put it back down on the shelf where you found it. |
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Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter review (X360)Reviewed on April 04, 2008That's not to discount the game's prominent sense of realism, though. It only takes a single, well-placed bullet to see you off and the wounds you collect in mission do not magically and conveniently vanish. By all means, run head first into that small circle of tents with your gun blazing -- just expect to be dead long before you spot your first target. Both the angles and the numbers are always against you. |
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Bomberman Land Touch! 2 review (DS)Reviewed on March 30, 2008Touch 2 does a good job of throwing an insane selection of just how many games you play and at varying the difficulty of them all. You’ll also have problems with a game that asks you to slingshot yourself into the air to try and collect coloured bombs for point, but you’ll have less of a problem pulling the same bombs out of a pond when you take on a fishing mini-game. It will probably take you a few turns to rack up enough points to pass a stage that has a hanger spit out a constant stream of tanks at you that you need destroy by lobbing bombs into their path, but you’ll probably find it easier to finish off a game of air-hockey played with an explosive puck you need to explode in the face of your challenger |
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Mass Effect review (X360)Reviewed on March 30, 2008Mass Effect isn’t a game that deals just in moralistic black & white. These choices, while straightforward enough at first, are often draped in an ugly shade of red. |
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R-Type III: The Third Lightning review (GBA)Reviewed on March 24, 2008R-Type III enjoys taking elements from the first game and then applying a generous new coat of difficulty. R-Type’s first level had you trade shots with a hulking, cannon-wielding robot as you both tore through a metallic cylinder. This is recreated with triple the number of gundam-ripoffs, but makes the last invincible, letting it pepper you with blasts until you force it to smash into the scenery. |
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No More Heroes review (WII)Reviewed on March 22, 2008But it’s when you reach these off-key boss fights that No More Hereos has it’s best moments. You meet Dr. Peace, western-style six-hooters and 70’s porn ‘tash, crooning into the empty stadium, telling you it was always his dream to perform on a stage like this and how the money you paid for the fight made it possible. You converse like two old friends, then you try your best to end each other’s life. |
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Fantasy Wars review (PC)Reviewed on February 27, 2008What's refreshing is that the word 'strategy' isn't just in the genre's name out of some long-forgotten tradition: it must become the lynchpin of your game should you ever dream of progression. |
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Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None review (WII)Reviewed on February 21, 2008The original PC version utilised a point and click interface to navigate Narracott's investigation, and the Wii takes that same approach sans mouse. Instead, the Wiimote is employed to use the on-screen pointer, which you aim at objects of interest to have your avatar interact with. |
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Sam & Max 203: Night of the Raving Dead review (PC)Reviewed on February 19, 2008Night of the Raving Dead brings all the good things the series has been steadily building upon and then some. It improves upon the lacklustre length of Moai Better Blues, keeps the quality of the script high, and, while the puzzles are still on the easy side, they’re still a step above those seen in the first season. |
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