What is it about the zombie that is so utterly captivating? There's certainly no shortage of movies. In fact, it's about time stores had a zombie genre. No more lumping them in with the likes of Jeepers Creepers or Saw. Zombies are far too classy for that trash.

Parties are even being thrown in their honor - revelers dripping with equal parts fake blood and fake skin, and biting one another in celebration. How about a zombie bar crawl? Alcohol certainly makes for realistic stumbles and moans.

So why the near-worship level of admiration for this simple-minded creature?

Theory #1: Zombies are the physical manifestations representing our fears of losing our unique, individual identities.

Theory #2: Zombies are an apt analogy to showcase our rabid consumerist tendencies in an age dominated by materialism.

Hmmm... I'm going with Occam on this one.

Theory #3: Humans want fellow humans to get their limbs torn amidst arterial sprays, eyes crushed in their sockets, and instestines strung through the trees.

Face it. We hate each other. It's the way your uncle farts where he pleases, the guy at the checkout who won't get off the phone, the little girl begging in the toy aisle, or that stupid beret your friend insists on wearing.

Remember the neighbor with the barking dog? Well now you can let the zombies get revenge for all your sleepless nights. That roommate who still owes you $50? Jam the doors shut in the name of survival and watch through the peephole as he scrambles for dear life.

Ahhh, guilt-free murder justice, and it's only round one.

Now that your ex-friend/boss/lover/coworker/8th grade teacher is a zombie, he or she is a menace to society. You'll have to do the right thing and put it down. Put on a pained expression and maybe even hesitate a second. At least that's what they do in the movies.

It's tradition to honor the dead, and the undead like to die again in unique fashion. Forget the usual shotgun or axe and get creative. How about a corkscrew? That could be interesting. I hear lawnmowers make good weapons too.

Face it, no one likes a genocidal maniac. But if we lose a few bad eggs in a zombie apocalypse, well, that simply can't be helped.

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	johnny_cairo - July 14, 2007 (03:45 PM) Lawnmowers tend to jam when they don't run out of gas. Flamethrowers combine the zombie's innate fear of light (or heat) with truly massive destructive power. (this particular quirk of the zombie psyche isn't explored too heavily in either Romero's movies or any number of knock-offs) Hey, my blog isn't 'good' anymore! I'll work on fixing that right away.
	Suskie - July 14, 2007 (06:18 PM) It's weird that you post this only a few days after I Netflix'd both Shaun of the Dead AND 28 Weeks Later. Yep, it was a zombie marathon.
	Genj - July 14, 2007 (09:38 PM) I hear lawnmowers make good weapons too. Yeah, I need watch Dead Alive too.
	pup - July 15, 2007 (08:26 AM) Glad somebody caught that. "I kick ass for the lord."