I'd like to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while. It's a touchy subject, very near and dear. Everyone's experienced it. Everyone's felt the pain. It's something we deal with all the time.

PEOPLE TALKING IN THEATRES.

Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a word or two exchanged between people in the middle of a movie. Whispering. Maybe a giggle. Not too loud. But when you hold a full-fledged conversation in the movie theater, when you're jumping around like a monkey and making noises that match, THEN you're crossing lines.

For instance, take the time I went to Superman Returns, not too long ago. Movie's barely started. I'm with my entire family, very psyched to see this. The really cool intro begins with the planets flying by and stuff, right after krypton blows up.

This fool behind me says "It's going to supernova!"

First off, I'm 99% sure that planets - even fictional ones - do not supernova. Second off, nobody gives a crap. Nobody likes a Captain Obvious. And, to make matters worse, he spent the next three hours spouting out some weird nerd fact about Superman every five minutes, most of which were not even true.

The only thing worse than talking in a theater? Talking about things that are blantantly obvious. For instance, when I went to see Snakes of a Plane last week...

"OHMYGOD HE GOT EATED BY A SNAKE!"
"HA THAT FOOL GOT BIT IN HIS DICK!"
"HE THREW THE DOG! HE THREW THE DOG!"

The screen is what? Thirty feet tall? Something like that. Everyone can see what you're seeing. There's no need for commentary.

So, please, don't talk in movie theaters. And if you see people talking, tell them to shut up. And if they don't, beat them up outside or something.

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	Genj - August 29, 2006 (06:49 PM) Somehow I usually luck out and don't go to a theatre with morons that chat during the film or think they need to do their best Mystery Science Theatre 3000 impressions. However there is one thing that bugs me that always seems to happen . . . people clapping at the end. THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU, PEOPLE!
	khris - August 29, 2006 (06:54 PM) Wait a second, you're complaining about people talking during Snakes on a Plane? That was the best part about going when I went.
	bluberry - August 29, 2006 (07:27 PM) Well from the sound of it, his People in a Theatre weren't very funny.
	draqq_zyxx - August 30, 2006 (05:05 AM) Movie theaters should provide complimentary tranq guns with their $25 popcorn and drink combo.
	asherdeus - August 30, 2006 (07:34 AM) I look right at people that are talking and tell them to shut the fuck up. They usually do after a scoff of disgust that I would be so rude as to interrupt them. I learned from three years of working in a movie theater that, generally, when people are confronted, they back down. One day, I'm going to get punched for sure, but usually I've only had to yell at old people or groups of giggly girls.
	goldenvortex - August 30, 2006 (07:43 AM) Yeah, I can't stand that. One time, a bunch of kids stole a bunch of child booster seats and used them to slide down the stairs! In the middle of the movie!!
	EmP - August 30, 2006 (09:39 AM) That sounds awesome, Vorty. I openly throw ice-cubes at talkers. And once, half a snickers bar that made the most satisfying *crack* ever. I've also stolen someone's cap and told them they could have it back at the end of the movie if they remain silent. People clapped.
	tristis_iranica - August 30, 2006 (10:04 AM) LH is a lesbian.
	Genj - August 30, 2006 (11:01 AM) Well . . . that would explain his fixation on athletic, manly women.
	fenir - September 01, 2006 (08:52 PM) Every time I go to see a movie there's always those nameless jerks in the back. Those who always laugh or talk through the entire movie. Either that or theirs little kids crying or kicking my seat. Went to the harrypotter movie before and there were little 4 year olds crying because they were scared. Excuse me, but don't you think you could take some responsiblity and take your kid to something that they will enjoy, and where they won't disrupt the show? Lately I've haven't even been going, just waiting for it to come out because of the things you experience in those places.
	magicjuggler - September 06, 2006 (07:02 PM) Seriously, some people don't deserve to have kids. Don't drag your 4-year-old to watch Snakes on a Plane. Simple as that.