Forums > Contributor Zone > Review of the Week June 7 - 13: Do you like stuff?

As you can tell, I haven't really been present here. I don't want to make any promises that I'll be more present going forward, but I'd like to be. As I mentioned before, I've taken a supervisor job and it's pretty much eaten all of my free time and energy. I have gotten some gaming in, mainly logging some hours into Wild Arms 3 for the second time.

Horror movies? Who has time for that? I do, sometimes...

Anaconda (1997)- Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, John Voight, Eric Stoltz, and Owen Wilson all try to capture an anaconda, voiced by Megatron/Curious George/Scooby-Doo himself, Frank Welker. Basically, Voight cons them into attempting to trap the snake so he can sell it for a fortune. Obviously, things go south and people end up dead, but not before the audience expires from boredom. This movie really wastes a lot of time trying to flesh out its dull characters before getting into the eco-horror mayhem. It could've remedied this by leaning into its cheesy creature feature elements and forsaking character development, or having characters that weren't flat and forgettable. Also, there's a huge missed opportunity where the snake constricts Owen Wilson to the point his bones audibly crack, and he could've given us one pained "WOW!" before jumping off the mortal coil.

The Pyramid (2014)- People discover a pyramid buried under the sand in Cairo. They shouldn't go in, but they do anyway. Bad stuff happens. And by "bad stuff," I mean "they get picked off one by one by Anubis." Calm down, it's not as cool as it sounds. For one thing, the movie can't make up its mind if it wants to be a found-footage film or a just a straightforward film. It keeps jarringly shifting between the two, and it's super distracting. Also, the CGI looks terrible at numerous points. I dig the concept of an Egyptian god and some undead sphinx cats picking off idiots, but that's really about it.

The Innocents (1961)- Based on the novella "The Turn of the Screw," a governess takes a job to watch over a couple of children in a rural manor, but believes they may be the targets of a couple of malevolent ghosts. Yes, this is based off the same source material as Bly Manor. However, this flick isn't so obvious about its haunting, and leaves a lot of room for interpretation. By the time you reach the end, you wonder if there ever was a ghost infestation or of the governess is just mad. This is also one of those old school thrillers that make the most of black and white by playing with shading and messing with your head. Plus, it's full of some great performances that really accentuate the story's manic nature.

Black Swan (2010)- I really don't want to write a synopsis for this. Natalie Portman gets selected to play the lead in Swan Lake, suspects Mila Kunis will take the role. The two of them become frienemies, something something descent into madness. Look, I liked the movie. That's all I'm going to say. I really don't want to get any further into it.

The only other thing I have to dump is that I've been playing A Hat in Time, and I'm strangely not into it. It took me a while to put my finger on it, but to me it just feels unfocused and a bit disorganized, but entertaining nonetheless. I'll probably make a proper run of it another time, but for now I think I'm going to put it on a back burner. I did, however, love Ape Out. Review coming soon...

The reviews:

-OD- ***SECOND***
You played The Last Tinker, title of which is a gamble on the developer's part. Imagine if this game really blew and everyone called it The Last Stinker. We all know it wouldn't be the last, though...
Anyway, I played and reviewed this one, so I'm pretty familiar with it. You do a good job covering everything this title has to offer in a tidy, efficient manner. I don't really have any complaints except that this game doesn't really have any stand-out features or flaws that would be fertile ground for a "knock your socks off" kind of review. Still, this is a good piece.


-Dagoss- ***REVIEW OF THE WEEK***
Geez, what is it with everyone covering games I previously reviewed? You start this one with some facts of gaming that a lot of people--myself included--don't consider often enough. Given my experiences with these crummy Game Boy Mega Man titles, I know exactly where you're going with this one... You go into some development background with these titles, giving us a much needed history lesson, then segue into Ninja Gaiden. This is where the review could have gone awry, but you manage to neatly tie it into the issues with this title, which is impressive. From there, you dissect the game strategically, picking apart faulty bits of the game and backing up your claims with hard evidence, only to wrap up the whole piece with two paragraphs that tie it all up. Nicely done!

-JaguarWong- ***THIRD***
Welcome to HonestGamers, and forgive me for the lateness of this topic! I don't have much to say except that this review could use a lot more detail and content. It's nice to read about this, though, because I had no idea it even existed!

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Topic Vanquished

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Hey, thanks for the win. Are we still giving out illustrious cash prizes for these? I remember reading your review of this game; it actually inspired me to want to review it too, to try and redeem it. In the end I couldn't save it (because it's bad).

About contract developers, one thing I didn't know until recently is Enix (when they were a separate company) never actually developed their own games--they were a publisher only. Dragon Quest all the way up to DQXI were all contract devs.

I was glad to read JaguarWong's review and see I wasn't the only person playing weird DS games still.

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Dagoss:

I like trying out other games made by the companies, like Chunsoft and ArtePiazza, that collaborated on Enix with some of their Dragon Quest games and the like. But usually there's some disappointment too, because while Enix was chiefly a publisher, it seems to have had just enough of a hand in the creative process/oversight to turn a good development partner into a great one... for the duration of that one project. Chunsoft and ArtePiazza aren't bad, but they're better with the right direction. Or at least, that's my general impression. I do still need to get to more of their games to make that statement with the purest of confidence.

Joe:

Thanks for the topic, despite the promotion at work. I like seeing you around when you can manage it, and I join you in hoping that as the dust settles on the new responsibilities, you'll be able to settle into a comfortable routine that means you can hang around here more often!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

@Jason: that's the really interesting part about some of these collaborations. Dragon Quest also had strong art and music from Toriyama and Koichi respectively. Enix was really good at finding people and putting teams together. Whenever I get interested in a game these days, the first thing I do is look up more about the team involved. There's always more interesting stories than expected.

Chunsoft is an interesting case. The Mystery Dungeon series that they are also known for is sort of a DQ spin off!

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I have Torneko: The Last Hope for PlayStation, which makes the Dragon Quest connection too obvious to miss, but I haven't played it much in many years and didn't play it much even then. I probably need to fix that at some point.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2