Forums > Submission Feedback > Follow_Freeman's Yume Nikki Gensou review

You've highlighted what sounds like an interesting fan game, based on an original game that people seem to love talking about. I believe your review would read better with a more directly stated introduction, though. The intro you have felt to me like you were trying too hard to sound authoritative by way of a long-winded introduction, and it doesn't match the clearer, more direct style you followed to your advantage throughout the review's remainder. There were a few minor grammatical errors throughout the review, but they didn't hide the fact that you love the game's music and enjoyed the gameplay to boot.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

I greatly appreciate the feedback! I'll see about incorporating your suggestions when I get the time.

A song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RqzFkV2K4g
Film reviews: https://letterboxd.com/Follow_Freeman/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVo7uK3vlYw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aToOckImfM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVpJTLpPLD0