Forums > Contributor Zone > Review of the Week, Oct 10-16 - Mostly zombies... Mostly.

Project Horror sure has been keeping the site busy. Twelve reviews were submitted within this week alone, and while that doesn't quite hit the number submitted last week, I must say that I've had my hands full with reading, judging, and glowering over my spectacles. (I don't actually wear spectacles, but you gotta admit that the imagery of a dragon glowering over his spectacles is pretty awesome).

Anyway, there were SIX reviews for Resident Evil titles this week. I must confess that I have not played much of the series at all, in part due to a horrible experience I had with RE2. Thus, some of you were more successful at explaining these games to someone who is largely unfamiliar with them than others. Either way, I still feel like I have received a comprehensive history of most of the entire series now, so when people bring these games up in conversation I might actually know what they're talking about. Thanks for that!

Since a lot of the submitted reviews won't make the running this week, I feel I should make some honourable mentions. Foremostly, there's Zach Walton's Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls review, which... Does not appear to be horror-related, but was nevertheless a thorough and informative read. It also reaffirmed for me that I don't understand Japan at all. I really don't.

Then there was the endearing fangirling from wolfqueen, who gushed about Resident Evil 4 like a kid at a carnival with a sugar high. Her review reminded me of how a good gaming experience, when had in the presence of good company, can really trigger those warm n' fuzzy feelings in us, even if those feelings happen to be triggered by blasting zombies into chunky kibble. These are the kinds of experiences that got us into this hobby in the first place, and it's fun to see someone reliving one of those moments. Your enthusiasm is infectious, madame!

Lastly, there was the extremely random Quake II review by mrmiyamoto, which seemed to have dropped out of nowhere. A quick look at his profile reveals that he hasn't submitted a review since 2013. I couldn't help wonder why he decided to come out of the woodwork now, after a three-year absence, just to review it. Out of all the games out there, why Quake II in particular? Why the N64 version? So many questions. The review itself is concise and functional, but the story behind the review is what intruiged me the most.

Anyway, I could literally make comments about all of the reviews submitted this week, but I will stop before this article becomes pages long. So, without further ado, here are the winners:


Third place: darketernal's Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City review (PS3)

Ah, Raccoon City. Certainly there are places in the world with stupider names, but the fact that a horrifying zombie apocalypse happened here made it hard for me to take RE2 seriously. It's probably simply a case of nuance being lost in translation, but... C'maaaaahn. Raccoon city? Really?

Anyway, darketernal's review about the srs bzns going on in Raccoon City is a point-by-point account of how bumbling AI can completely ruin a perfectly serviceable product. Since the cooperative AI is apparently the main attraction of the game, it seems appropriate that the majority of his review is spent on examining how it works and how it fails miserably. His descriptions of how his character's companions ran headlong into a hail of bullets might've actually sounded heroic if they hadn't been tragically mulched into hamburger. Sigh.

Also, because I know next to nothing about the series, the tiny history lesson he gave us at the beginning of his review actually worked for me. It might be redundant to those who are familiar with the series, but even so, he managed to tie it in with his conclusion and wrapped it all up very nicely.

All in all, this was a solid piece of writing that I had a hard time picking apart.


Second place: pickhut's Resident Evil 5 review (PS4)

pickhut takes RE5 to task for not being as good as RE4, and does so with brutal efficiency. I have read a lot of Resident Evil reviews this week, and thus I have read a LOT of complaints about terrible AI (see above), but his description of Sheva emptying her clip into the back of the protagonist's head was the only one that made me laugh out loud. Gods, it made me frustrated me just reading about it. That, combined with his thorough account of this game's lackluster rail-shooting sequences and other monotonous filler make me glad that he's played this game so that I don't have to.

Come to think of it, I never actually heard much about this title. I remember a certain amount of hype being generated prior to its release, but then afterward, nothing. I guess this is why. The game is just poop. Or at the very least, it's poop compared to the other titles in the series. I trust pickhut's assessment of this, because he is clearly a good writer who knows his shit, and knows shit when he sees it.


First place: EmP's Resident Evil 0 HD Remaster review (PC)

Sir, you might just be my favourite reviewer on Honestgamers. I'm trying not to be biased here, but your reviews just so often hit that perfect blend of narrative, exposition, snark, and well-informed opinion that I can't help but give credit where it's due. In this case, you took an awkward, lumbering, problem-plagued chapter of the RE series and spilled its pretentious, high-def entrails all over the floor. I laughed more than once, but I also feel like you told me everything I need to know about this title. And that's what reviews are for, aren't they? And you did it all in seven concise paragraphs. Well played, sir.

I actually had trouble deciding whether to give the win to this one or your Resident Evil 6 review, which was an equally great read. That one almost deserves the win solely for the fact that you used the words "try-hard Die Hard" in a sentence and made it work. In fact, if you'd waited one extra day to drop that review, you might've had a contender for the top spot in RotW next week. Too bad.

Thanks for the second placing, and glad you enjoyed reading the review. The AI truly is garbage, and one small thing I didn't point out is how aggravating it becomes on the higher difficulties. I just tried completing one of the extra modes (Desperate Escape) on the highest difficulty setting for a PS4 trophy, and the AI for my partner just constantly had brain-farts during the final segment. I gave up. I'm not doing that again without an online partner.

Oh, and this is something you might not want to hear, but: RE5 is currently Capcom's best-selling game ever. It dethroned Street Fighter II. Yeah...

Congrats to EmP for his RotW win on one of two impressive RE reviews, and to darketernal's RE: ORC placement, as well. It was a pretty cramped week of reviews, and thanks for taking the time to read them all and making this thread.

I head spaceshit noises.

I love seeing random reviews come through the site, from any capable writer who is kind enough to share them. There are so many thousands of games out there that any new review for an old game comes across as random, but the more of them we can host, the better the site becomes. I hope mrmiyamoto shows up with more random reviews, and that plenty of other writers old and new feel inclined to post some random reviews of their own!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

Those are some very kind works - thanks, I appreciate it. This little Res run has left me knackered, even more so considering the three games I took on myself were the worst of the bunch. That said, thanks to WQ, Pick and DE for continuing the streak this week, and congrats to the latter two for their well deserved placements.

I did think about trying to nudge Res 6 forward a day so it would fall on OD's RotW slot, but I knew I had (urgh) Umbrella Corps in cold storage to force upon him.

For us. For them. For you.

@pickhut: I believe you, though I wonder how much RE5's success had to do with RE4's success and people's expectations that lightning would strike twice. It certainly seemed to have missed the mark in that respect at the very least.

@Jason: I also think it's neat when random reviews come out of nowhere. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't; after all, most of my 90's PC reviews are completely and utterly random as hell.

@EmP: You're welcome, and thanks for the the great reads!

There was a lot of great stuff this week, I look forward to doing it again next month.

placid like acid