Forums > Contributor Zone > BRACKET: ROUND ONE, STAGE THREE

Well, guess since this is closing tonight, I'll just put my votes in without feedback. I'll come back and edit feedback in when I'm settled back in school... Which might take at least a week. I dunno. Hopefully then you'll all know why I voted the way I did. Since it may or may not confuse some people.

Felix over DE

EmP over Will

Jason over Cairo.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Felix vs. DE

Felix's review was written with a ton of heart and while there may be some technical hiccups here and there that have been beaten into the ground by everyone else at this point, it's a more engaging read than DE's more structured piece. My mind wandered while reading DE's but when reading Felix all eyes were on Basted and its two lovable main characters.

Felix spanks DE

Will vs. ShrEmP Burger

This wasn't even a contest. Will's review starts out with a self-introduction and making the claim that he's the HG RTS guy.

Uh, ok. So what?

With even more words like grabskis and then all the LOLINTERNETDRAMA over "on with the review" (Which is a shitty line, by the way.) You're a much better writer than this, Will.

EmP's review is filled with flowery language and though sometimes it seems like he's trying to connect as many adjectives to nouns as he can get away with, it at least showcases his excellent vocabulary, whereas mine's just filled with words like cockfucking shitstain.

ShrEmP Burger spanks Will

Venter vs. Cairo

Venter wrote an engaging, gushing review about a game that ultimately failed to register a blip on my radar, most likely because:

A. I barely watch movies because Hollywood has about 2 good ideas a year.
B. Thus movie-based games are basically a lost cause.

However, with Venter's consistently strong writing, he manages to sell me on a game that I WOULD buy if I cared enough about the Bourne series to actually be interested in the areas its trying to sell.

But I don't.

Cairo's review, on the other hand, is a nice bash of some game that I own but have never placed into my Xbox 360 (fucking backlog...). The review is dripping with witty sarcasm and is a very entertaining read. However, it's also filled with juvenile lines like Douche Desmond. *groan* In the end, I came away liking Venter's just a hair more, despite Cairo's very strong entry. This was the hardest match for me to judge for this entire tournament.

Venter spanks Cairo

Your girlfriend's name ends in .jpg

Eh...

Sorry for being such a drama llama, guys. I guess I sometimes forget that The Internet Is Serious Business. :)

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

Just realized I never voted in the Jason vs. Cairo match. I don't feel like getting into a big explanation here, but I vote for Cairo. It's a case of a great review being beaten by a fantastic one.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Scores tallied from the above posts and Will's score:

Felix Arabia - 7
Vs.
Dark Eternal - 6

EmP - 11
Vs.
Will the Great - 2

Johnny Cairo - 7
Vs.
Jasey Venter - 5

I don't have to boost my review resume because I have a real resume.

Almost forgot.

LAST MINUTE ENTRY

Felix vs darketernal

ADVANTAGE: DE

HG vs Cairo

ADVANTAGE: HG

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

OD has until I go to bed or get bored waiting before he loses his chance to vote on the last match.

Other voters should head over to the forth stage and start there.

For us. For them. For you.

Felix
EmP
Cairo

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since it sounds as if you'll close this soon:

darketernal, you, and Cairo

I'll edit in some text later if you've not locked it all up by then.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

I'm not going to be back by a computer until 10ish at the earliest (3.5 hours or so), so as to be counted, my last pick is

CAIRO

I'll edit in my reasoning then. And it will be epic.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

CLOSED. New votes will be nuked.

I'll leave the topic open for people who want to edit in comments. For now.

For us. For them. For you.

OD can still unlock it anyway.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

But Boo can't.

For us. For them. For you.

I vote Venter over Cairo.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

You'll have to give me more time, then. At least a week... I'm very busy this week.

Also, Felix ad DE are tied now, I think, so... what'll we do with that? Hm...

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

We're not tied. EmP just is too lazy to keep current scores since he's a s bloody shrimp. DE has the most votes of the losers, so he advances any way.

I don't have to boost my review resume because I have a real resume.

Oh. Well, I thought the score you'd posted hadn't included the three or so later votes.

Most everything (if not all of it) I have to say has been said already. But here's my feedback anyway. If it's not as detailed as I usually make it, I'm sorry. But time still isn't really my friend right now.

Felix over DE

Alright. Upon reading Felix's review again, I can see why it got the commentary it did. I understand it's unconvincing nature in that I'd likely not want to play a game whose main focus seems to be cutscenes and has very little in the way of combat. However, this appears to be the point of his review. That the game is one of (if not the) first of its kind to produce cutscenes in any sort of important fashion like that. Also, he clearly pointed out that the combat, while lacking, is unique, something that may actually be worth checking out despite the othewise uappealing nature of the game. He's also colorful enough in his writing to hold my attention, and also somewhat removes the sense of unconvincingness present there.

On the other hand, while DE's review is more convincing in the end, I had difficulty paying attention. Perhaps it's because this is so old, but this one reads a bit too slowly for me... The writing feels dry and elongated, if that makes sense. So much so that even though it's clear, for the most part, I have to reread sentences several times because I just can't stay focused. It's also plagued with minor errors and sentences that could use shortening or better phrasing. In a sense, it reads like a rookie review - a decent review, but a rookie review nonetheless. It's obvious in lines like the first of his real concluding paragraph. Still, I liked how he described the game. It just could've been done so much more smoothly.

And I think the somewhat unnecessary sexual references actuallyhelped in this case since they added a bit of humor... or... something... >_>

EmP over Will

I don't know what everyone's so uptight about "ooh, it's too fanficky". Ok, sure, maybe that's what fanfics are for, but still, I like reading that sort of thing in a review. As long as it's appropriate. And it definitely is here with EmP's review. I honestly can't see any better way of him describing those various scenes. Considering it's a puzzle game, which are really hard to review in the first place, this only adds to the imagery of the game. It paints a clear (and gross, with all the gore, apparently) picture of the world which may not be presented as easily with other writing styles. It grabs your attention, pulls you in and leaves you there. And when he does transition into talking about puzzles themselves, it's hardly noticeable. Really, the only jarring thing in this whole review is when he's describing that opening sequence or whatever in third person than abruptly switches to narrative in the following paragraph. But then the atmosphere is restored soon enough anyway. It's a good read. To those who complain of lack of puzzle explanation (which I thought was enough anyway), I'd counter that that wasn't so much the point as was the atmosphere and setting. Since this story is completely different from the book, apparently.

P.S.

I found typos in your review... eihter I missed them the first time I read through or you didn't fix them when I sent them to you. (I did send you edits for this one, right? >_>)

Either way, you can thank me later. Haha.

Will's review, on the other hand, while very informative - really - is way too technical. I mean, I know RTS's pretty well, I think, but he really uses way too much in-game jargon without enough (or in some cases too much) explanation to keep me oriented properly. It's also kind of like DE's in the sense that it's a bit longwinded in places, and is diffiult to pay attention to after a while. Don't get me wrong - I definitely agee that this would be a great review for someone already familiar with the game, and, it being an expansion, maybe that was your point. But I wouldn't have subbed it for this contest either. Sorry, man. =(

Jason over Cairo

These were both great reviews. But to keep it simple, I liked Jason's more because it seemed to get to the point a lot sooner. I mean, the examples were right there, fast, explosive and powerful, and kept me attentative throughout.

Cairo's is great, too, with it's witty sarcastic approach to a game much smiled upon around here (I think). His examples are clear and poignant (oops, stole EmP's word), and generally kept me amused throughout. However, I would complain that some of the analogies or jokes made might be a little high-brow for me. Where I'm not familiar with what he's comparing it to. Still, fun read, and typical Cairo in bashing well-popularized games. A very interesting approach. Honestly, the choice was tough, but I'm ultimately leaning towards Jason.

Edit: Oh. I guess the feedback wasn't that bad after all. Except for maybe Jason's and Cairo's. I hope that's OK. But it's really getting late now... >_>

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

I'm totally unfamiliar with forums and am very impressed by all that people helping others on forums.
Why do they do so?

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They do it in hopes that those people will then stick around and become part of the experience and that things will grow so that the site can be a really cool place to kill time. At least, that's how I see things. It's not like we're a bunch of philanthropists at heart or anything. ;-)

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2