Forums > Submission Feedback > JoeTheDestroyer's West (XLI) review

Good review. It felt quite brief, but it was also clear that nothing more was needed. You justify both your praise and your criticism well, and the style overall is good. It does its job, and does it well.

A couple of errors:

'plane Jane' should be 'plain Jane'.
'bail of hay' should be 'bale of hay'.

Also: your comparison to a Jack Chick tract (while amusing for people who have read any Chick tracts) becomes a bit clumsy when you have to include the disclaimer that you weren't implying Biblical content. It might be worth switching that for something that doesn't require such clarification.

One more point, though this is really just a matter of personal preference: while reading the middle section (about the evils of technology) I kept thinking 'that's the theme of most Final Fantasy games and many JRPGs in general, it's far from unique to West'. I assume this was a continuation of your point that West seems to offer subtlety while actually offering simplistic themes, but I don't think it's entirely clear that you're not just criticising it for something common to many RPGs. Again, though, that's really just a personal feeling; other readers may well feel differently.

I know I've spent more time criticising than praising here, but it is a good review overall. My criticisms are really just polishing suggestions.

'There would be tears and there would be strange laughter. Fierce births and deaths beneath umbrageous ceilings. And dreams, and violence, and disenchantment.'

Thanks, Sam.

On your first point with the misspellings: D'oh! and D'oh! I'm prone to homophone errors.

On your second point, I just dropped the disclaimer. I'm pretty sure people can figure it out since I did say "as straightforward as". It's mainly that West's writer and Chick both tell simple, black-and-white stories as a means to sell a moral.

Last point, it's not the theme that bothered me, but the way it was presented. When most games go on a high horse about industry and technology, they don't have hippies in the middle of a dungeon telling you Industry is bad, m'kay. They usually show rather than tell, and I think that is more effective. I'm completely okay with "technology bad, nature good" storylines, as long as they're not trying to beat me over the head with their theme.

Again, thank you!

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.