Forums > Submission Feedback > randxian's Crystalis review

Heh. This is pretty decent, though it does read a bit listy and formulaic (story/game play/graphics/sound/flaws...), as opposed to integrating them all into one piece. But even so, the transitions work for the most part, and it doesn't read like you're going everywhere; the review basically follows the format you outlined in your second paragraph, so it's not like anything caught me off guard. You also had some unnecessary lines or just things that could be compressed or phrased better, but those aren't a big deal. (things like "Ah, yes" are generally cringeworthy, no offense). But this is still a good effort and I'm glad you wrote it.

I did find a typo: which will fuel you're desire to get back at those fiends

Your

I'll also say that this is probably better than my bloody awful thing... Mine does sort of jump around everywhere, and has a lot of unnecessary phrases and things that could just be left out... I also feel that mine didn't have enough detail in parts, and some of the transitions are horrible, but whatever.

Anyway, keep at it. I think you'd mentioned this was a sort of rewrite anyway, which means it's an improvement from the original. And it also means you have a lot more room for improvement in general, which, in this sense, is a good thing.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

You also had some unnecessary lines

Besides, the "Ah, yes" what are some other examples?

I have noticed I tend to be formulatic. It's just something I've been trying to shake for a long time, but can't seem to get the hang of it.
I actually used to break it down into subsections before just simply writing essay reviews, but most of my reviews have the same problem.

And I do actually think your review for the same game is good and well written; I just completely disagree with your assessment of the game's difficulty. I just don't find Crystalis all that challenging.

But then again, reviews are opinions.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

I'll get back to you on that tomorrow or whenever I look through again... if I even find any others. I'm too tired and my head hurts too much right now. >.<

As for other remrks, well, as long as you keep trying, I'm sure you'll learn to integrate things better, unless you prefer that sort of style in the fist place.

And as for the difficulty... I dunno. I found it hard at the end. But, well, I'm not going to profess myself as all that awesome at video games. Realy for me if I can beat it (or come close), I'll be happy. Or if I just have fun with it. But that's all opinion, like you said, anyway.

I actually did like the elemental immunnity thing, though. It sort of added strategy in the game, if making things a bit inconvenient in places.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Maybe what I need to do is write a review. Let it set there for a few days. Then go over it again with fresh eyes so I can figure out what's wrong.

as opposed to integrating them all into one piece

Heh heh heh.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?