.............

Well, since I obviously want to talk about the new 007 film so badly, the movie section comes first!

-MOVIES-

Spectre (spoilers, spoilers everywhere): While I wasn't exactly hyped for the film... mainly because I forgot it was coming out this weekend, I thought it could have been a fun watch in the theaters, especially since Sam Mendes returns as director. As I was sitting in the theater watching the movie, and before the credits sequence popped up, I started feeling as if something was off. The opening sequence started off promising with an impressive continuous shot, but it quickly devolved into a nonsensical, weirdly-directed helicopter fight with a flaccid climax. I let it slide, though, thinking they can't possibly all be impressive openers.

But then the nonsense continued with very odd pacing, pointless scenes, and jokes that fell flat on their asses. The very first moment I realized I was possibly watching a dud happened when Bond escaped the meeting full of people and security in Rome, which is followed by a chase sequence with only one person; that entire sequence was one of the worst things I've seen in a recent Bond movie since the entirety of Die Another Day. The chase itself felt like a car commercial as the two cars turned carefully (or at least that's what it looked like) around empty streets. Then the jokes fell flat as Bond flicked switches in the car, only for one not to work and another one that turned on music. Ha... ha? Then the movie made an airbag joke. Then, what seems to be a running gag for the movie, the car chase scene flaccidly ends with Bond ejecting out of the car, and his pursuer, who was just behind him, assuming he was still inside as it crashed into the water.

The plot itself felt like absolute hot garbage. It shamelessly reuses the plot point from Skyfall about the 00 Agents being relics and combines it with the need for a global security system. Even if you haven't seen the film, you can predict how this turns out. Or watched Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Or watched Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. Or played Metal Gear. Even then, the film tries to act as if the security system being controlled by the enemy was a big twist, and so wastes our time with scenes we really don't need to see along the way. Then the movie tries for a Dark Knight ending with almost no suspense.

There were some brief highlights, like Bond's brawl on the train, or some (emphasis on "some") of the things that happen when he's with Blofeld. The ending also has me intrigued, too. Blofeld survives and is taken into custody, but not before he glares at Bond happily walking off with a certain woman. OHMSS remake incoming? But there was just too much nonsense. And a lot of the scenes felt way too familiar to other Bond films. Whether it was intentional or not, a lot of these weren't even great or noteworthy scenes in Spectre. Nonsense. I know I'm overworking that word, but there's no other way to describe the stuff happening in a Daniel Craig Bond film.

The biggest insult, and one of the poorest forms of plot twisting, happens when Bond finally meets Blofeld, face-to-face, in his base. Hey, you remember the last three movies with Bond kicking ass? Surprise! Blofeld planned everything, even the ass-kicking!

EVVVVVVEEEERRRRRYYYYYYYYTTHHHHINNNG!!

Seriously, screw this movie.

Death Hunt: Yeah, it's not accurate to the real story, but it's a fun, albeit simple movie to watch. Lee Marvin doesn't put up with anyone's gibberish, and Charles Bronson gives zero fucks. It's great.

Soylent Green: I watched it. That's all I'll say on that matter.

-GAMES-

Gotcha Racing: this was the game I considered reviewing in the last blog entry, but decided against, since I just didn't want to rant about a racing game. Two words sum it up: artificial longevity. There's a lot of repetition going on, especially since you have to repeat early races to earn money for parts and enter fees for later races. Now here's the stinker: you don't know what parts you're buying, since they come out randomly from a capsule toy vending machine. That's the general gist of why it sucks, but there's other offensive stuff, like the racing being boring, not to mention the game makes you use your 3DS coins to buy special parts. These special parts break after about three races...

Metal Gear Online 3: For some reason??? This game is the reason I'm currently in a gaming and reviewing slump, yet I can't seem to pull myself away from this broken game. Though, I haven't played it within a week, so I guess that's an improvement.

That's that. I have a game or two in mind for review, so hopefully I'll have one up before my next blog entry.

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(for personal reference) I've changed my name from pickhut to dementedhut Some Rambo: Last Blood Thoughts

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	Suskie - November 10, 2015 (01:31 AM) I've been thinking about it and I'm pretty sure Spectre is my least-favorite Bond movie of all time, and yes, I've seen all of them. Because of the traditionally episodic nature of the series, the bad ones can usually be dismissed at will, but now that they're pushing continuity with the Daniel Craig, they've retconned all of this daddy issues garbage into a couple of movies (Casino Royale and Skyfall) that I actually liked. It's the first bad Bond movie that actually does permanent damage, I'd argue. And you know you've screwed up when you cast Christoph Waltz as the villain and he's the least remarkable thing about the movie.
	dementedhut - November 10, 2015 (01:54 AM) holdthephone, to add on to your confusion with the base plan, there's so many little moments that come off as confusing in the grand scheme, and moreso considering Bond is supposed to be avoiding detection due to his "house arrest" status. Where were the police or other guards during that whole car chase? How the hell did Bond get a hold of a personal airplane, and do it so quickly without losing chase? Why did Q make the tracking chip in Bond's arm sound like an amazing new invention when the exact same thing happened 3 movies ago? How come no one on the train called for police or security after an explosive fight broke out? I had to watch a YouTube clip after coming home to confirm that passengers were actually in the background of that fight slightly freaking out. I mean, I know it's a Bond film, but pick any other random Bond film and see that the directing had the common sense to explain or not overlook things, even if so brief. And Suskie, you're absolutely right. Waltz is criminally underused in the movie. The more I think about this movie, the more it upsets me... It really makes me want rewatch some older Bond films to drown out the sorrow.
	joseph_valencia - November 10, 2015 (09:19 AM) Daniel Craig Bond has had a tracking chip in every movie, hasn't he?
	dementedhut - November 10, 2015 (08:02 PM) If that's the case, I'm surprised I missed them. I just remember watching that scene in the theater and immediately thinking to myself, "But this also happened in Casino Royale..."
	joseph_valencia - November 10, 2015 (09:13 PM) Never mind. Seems I misremembered parts of Quantum and Skyfall.
	JANUS2 - November 16, 2015 (12:14 PM) Totally agree that Spectre was trash. The first shot was impressive, but it was all down hill from there. I hope the references to past Bond films (such as the snow chase) were intentional, otherwise it's really lazy script writing. But the 'homages' fall flat because the scenes/reference aren't as good as they were originally. The reference to one of the best Bond lines (do you expect me to talk?) was just half-assed and lame, for instance. I think I had a problem with almost every scene in the film. I can't believe it's getting five star reviews. Nonsense is a good way to describe it. Daniel Craig was cracking the sort of one liners that would be too cheesy for Roger Moore. He did that in Skyfall a little bit, but at least that film was good nonsense with a bit of genuine tension at times. Spectre was just boring and silly. Kingsman is this year's best Bond film.
	dementedhut - November 19, 2015 (05:29 AM) I really need to see Kingsman. I'm hearing polarizing things about the movie, but the fact that people keep mentioning the movie has me curious.