So here's my halfbaked attempt at a LiveBlog or Let'sRead or riffing or whatever you'd call this sort of running commentary. The review is zipp's review of Slender, which you can read without my inane commentary here. More to follow as time and circumstance allow.

You wake up in the woods in the darkest hours of the night with only a flashlight and the instructions “find eight pages.”

And, not two paragraphs in, we have a problem. Why am I here? Why am I wandering around some random forest in the dead of night looking for, of all things, eight pieces of paper? In fact, how do I know that there are eight pieces of paper in the first place? Did someone tell me about it? And if so, who? Is this some kind of frat hazing?

You wander for a while down a dirt path--you could veer off into the thick trees, but the forest is more ominous than mysterious. Your flashlight creates bouncing shadows that make the branches seem like they are reaching out for you.

Isn't that cheating? Doing the designer's job for them like that?

So you stick to the path and eventually you come to something. Maybe it’s a brick wall, placed obtusely in the middle of the path. Or maybe it’s a dank public washroom, the kind you’d expect to find at a poolside but not in the middle of, well, wherever you are.

I suppose it is kind of silly to expect realism and immersion from a game about running around a forest full of random buildings and collecting crayon drawings while being chased by an evil mannequin.

Then I remember that this game is ostensibly supposed to be frightening, and I just feel sort of deeply embarrassed for all parties involved.

On the wall is a page. You take it.

Yeah sure why not.

And that’s when the heartbeat starts. It won’t stop for the rest of the game. It will get louder, it will get faster, and when it’s at its fastest you know that HE is near.

...Did you just seriously write HE in allcaps?

Your only option is to avoid HIM and keep collecting the pages.

"Sure, I could just turn around, go back the way I came, and climb over the relatively small fence which is, to all appearances, the only thing standing between me and escape from a horrible death... But where's the fun in that?"

Also, "HIM"? Seriously?

With each page you collect, HE will grow smarter and more feverish in his pursuit.

Well, obviously.

GotD: Slender: The Eight Pages (PC)
The perfect Blair Witch Project simulator- you do nothing for a long time, and then at the end you feel very disappointed and confused. And angry. **/*****

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