True Love (PC) review
"The most important part comes when your childhood friend and the snotty rich girl find themselves in a clothes-tearing catfight over who gets first crack at your bodacious bod. You need some way to cool things down but there isn’t a bucket of water handy, so you spray them with whipped cream."
[Warning: this review contains strong language and explicit scenes of sexual congress. Please stop reading it immediately.]
“She undid the zip and my excited penis popped up”
It may lack all the gratuitous features that you’ve come to expect from modern-day wankathons, things like animated insertions, yelping Chihuahua girls, and running in Windows without being spat out like a mouthful of manseed – but True Love is universally hailed by perverts across the globe as a bona fide classic.
A stunning departure from the norm!
A masturbatory masterpiece!
What I’m trying to say is that someone actually thought to toss a few chunks of actual gameplay in between all the squelching and squealing. Just take an awesome game like Princess Maker 2, strip it down in every sense possible, replace your cute little daughter who wants to live in a palace with some Japanese nerd who wishes he had the Eiffel Tower jutting out of his pants, and TADAH! – all the cheesy sex and ridiculous dialogue of a regular hentai game, but now there’s pointless stat-building!
“My penis is already big and throbbing, wanting a place to settle”
And it’s only natural that Daisuke (said nerd) should be hung like a French landmark, because he’s a college student in his senior year. Of college. There’s nothing he’d enjoy more than a quick roll in the hay with his fellow college students, because when you’re in college it’s okay to do wacky college things. Things like studying for exams so you can get into a good . . . university. It certainly is reassuring to know that they’re not teenagers in high school because that would be morally WRONG, especially since Daisuke’s principal hobbies seem to consist of hiding dirty magazines under his bed, peeking into the girls’ changing rooms, and getting hot for teacher. All we really need to know about our hero’s education is that he has Miss Yumi for Biology, but he’s more interested in the topography of those rocky mountains. I’m talking about her breasts.
Staff review by Sho (January 30, 2007)
Sho enjoys classic video games, black comedy, and poking people until they explode -- figuratively or otherwise. He also writes a bit.
If you enjoyed this True Love review, you're encouraged to discuss it with the author and with other members of the site's community. If you don't already have an HonestGamers account, you can sign up for one in a snap. Thank you for reading!