Rogue Legacy (PC) review
"Koinoniphobia? Well, then don't play this."
Let me tell you about Sir McGladdery: he was of the Hokage class, would deal huge damage, and was very agile. However, those abilities alone could only take him so far within the inexplicable layouts of a castle besieged. Skill and knowledge were also needed, and McGladdery had plenty as he plowed through many a fowl beast and trap that adorned the premises. He entered a long, horizontal room filled with floor traps and enemies; he dashed past a tricky, small room with turrets placed top to bottom... only to repeat the same setup in the following room; he briefly roamed the castle's dimly-lit dungeon and immediately left, thankful that there wasn't a powerful knight waiting in the darkness; then he ventured the adjoining forest for loot, but unfortunately had trouble reading a pillaged book, due to dyslexia.
Eventually, Sir McGladdery met his doom when penetrating the castle's tower, where fierce opposition withered his HP bar. On his way to the tower's boss, he stumbled into a very cramped room, its inhabitants being two large knights, both swinging two chained, spiked balls of various lengths. All while independent spiked balls bounced off corners... He perished without ever laying eyes on a boss, but he was the first to travel the longest and defeated the most enemies of any relative that came before. His loot and knowledge came in handy for future generations that braved the castle's corridors.
Community review by pickhut (February 18, 2016)
Alternative tagline: Hit the Road, Jack.
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