Title: Update: I'm not dead!
Posted: May 02, 2009 (05:33 PM)
But... I am extremely emotionally frail right now. Last week put me through so much that right now, I'll feel like I just want to break down one moment, and then feel like nothing at all or like sleeping the rest of the day or something without doing anything else the next.
I gave up crossing out the things on the list, mostly because it felt like a waste and I wanted to elaborate on them separately, so I'll do that here. Here's how last week went:
1: Finish this scientific controversy paper for philosophy: This took three days longer than I had intended to complete, at least one all-nighter, and several "lol, did I really sleep last night?" nights. However, the good news is, all that time spent on it made it super awesome. I just saw my grade today for it; it got top marks and the prof had nothing but praise for it, so that made me happy. Or it would if I weren't so worn out right now that the only thing I can feel is sadness (for some odd reason) and exhaustion.
2: Spanish final and Spanish placement exam: I managed to fail some parts of the Spanish review while studying, which is actually good because usually when I fail the review, I do 8x better on the test. As it happened here, while I wasn't sure how well I did, when I finished, checking my grade a few days later saw that I got a B on it, and so my A in the course remained.
As for the placement exam for Spain I had to took on the same day... It took like 5 hours... as opposed to the 40 minutes the program director had said it'd take. The test was harder than the final, so some sections probably got skimped on, especially the listening one which, towards the end, got really super hard and I just gave up and left a lot blank. I stayed up till 5 in the freaking morning finishing it.
3: Revise my history paper: Ugggh.... This I only started actual revising on Thursday... and carried over into yesterday where I spent the whole day and night (literally) fixing it. I wish I hadn't spent so much time on my philosophy paper because I feel like this really suffered for it. I'm not pleased with the paper at all; it feels like one of the worst things I've ever written, but, well, I tend to say that about a lot of things that I really need to do well on. The draft at least was a B+, so while that wouldn't convey to a straight up paper grade, it's still a sign that I was doing something right, I guess. Still, though, the sheer overhaul I had to do.... really took a lot out of me. And I felt like I didn't know what I was doing at all, especially since I was pushing it so late that I couldn't get anymore guidance. The paper was handed in (e-mailed) at 5:30 in the morning... and I'm just happy it's done. I'll find my grade out later, I guess.
4: Theology final: Well... I didn't have a whole lot of time to study for this, being busy with everything else. I managed to skim some notes Thursday and Friday without much retention. Taking the test yesterday, I felt I did alright, though I know I did miserably on the final essay question because I just didn't know as much as I needed to. I think the rest will be fairly decent, though, with a few points off here and there. My BSing skills are pretty good when I have enough background knowledge to actually BS appropriately.
5: Stats final: No time to study. But that's OK because I apparently wasn't supposed to take it today after all. I'll be taking it Monday, which is fine by me. That gives me tomorrow to study a bit more... though I don't think I'll be putting too much effort into it because I'm just done with everything right now. But at least this means I won't completely fail it.
6: Write a review: Big "lawl" indeed. I knew I wouldn't have time for it, but that's OK. I'm going to try writing one today and/or tomorrow if I can feel emotionally stable again.
7: Packing: Mom was supposed to come this morning... but I was too busy setting my alarm every hour after 7 in the morning because I'd gone to bed at 6 with the history paper to bother. She apparently called me like 8 times while I was doing something, and so she never came up. She'll be pissed that my final wasn't actually today, because that's the reason she didn't come back around, but whatever. In the meantime, I'll need to start packing some things up. That's not a big deal. Maybe it'll keep me from thinking so much. She's coming up tomorrow again anyway.
I guess I'll worry about Spain later... though I still need to register for courses for that. For the love of Christ. If I can't register till I'm at home, there's no way I'll be able to pay the tuition fee, I don't think, because I'll be at home and not here. And that's something that needs to be paid before I go. Well, I'll nag about it Monday, I guess, and see how that goes.
Here was my sleep schedule for last week, starting with Sunday because that's as far back as I can remember right now, though I will throw in that I'd stayed up all night that previous Wednesday studying for a history exam.
Sunday: Pissed that day away because I was so tired from I guess not sleeping, though Saturday I'd managed to go to bed around midnight, I think, for once. Anyway, went to bed at 2, but didn't really sleep because it was so shallow and restless. Just gave up at around five in the morning, but strangely felt energetic for writing my philosophy paper. Well, so much for finishing it that day. Haha.
Monday: Slept from 5 to about between 8-10 in the morning. Because I had a Spanish final. I don't remember when I actually woke up.
Tuesday: Stayed up all night writing my philosophy paper. Slept from like 7 in the morning till 3 in the afternoon.
Wednesday: Went to bed at around 2:00... Spent the day sleeping and editing my paper. Couldn't do much else.
Thursday: Would've had a meltdown if it weren't for AIM, so I didn't do much that day either. Just worked a little on the history thing and tried studying a bit. Went to bed at around 2ish, but deliberately woke up at between 6-8 so I could work on history.
Friday: Spent all night working on the history paper. Crashed today from like 1-6 in the afternoon. I have a huuuuge headache. Or I did before I napped. Still there, though.
Think I'll try to re-regulate myself for the rest of my time here... I'm too worn out for anything else. Uggggh....
Posted: May 02, 2009 (09:16 PM)
which is actually good because usually when I fail the review, I do 8x better on the test
Reminds me of when Josh Waitzkin talks about investing in loss in his book titled The Art of Learning.
I personally think sometimes when you do well on the review, you are overconfident for the actual test. At least that's the way it always seemed to work in my case.
Posted: May 03, 2009 (08:08 AM)
Congratulations wolfram on no longer sucking!