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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Soccer '97 (PlayStation)

Soccer '97 review (PSX)

Reviewed on May 07, 2007

What do you give a game that’s great for all the wrong reasons? You give it a 5. And a hearty recommendation.
EmP's avatar
Genesis Rising: The Universal Crusade (PC)

Genesis Rising: The Universal Crusade review (PC)

Reviewed on May 06, 2007

It's fun watching organic starships explode in massive clouds of blood. It's fun sucking genes and fluids from the carcasses of defeated ships. It's fun throwing Drake shells from halfway across the map...Genesis Rising is too much fun for me to care about the crappy voice acting and crappier script.
WilltheGreat's avatar
Pirates: Battle for the Caribbean (PC)

Pirates: Battle for the Caribbean review (PC)

Reviewed on May 06, 2007

If you're expecting me to break into some tirade about how Pirates is much more intricate than it seems, well, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed.
lasthero's avatar
Satan's Hollow (Arcade)

Satan's Hollow review (ARC)

Reviewed on May 05, 2007

To an impressionable six-year-old Christian schoolchild, this was an amazing find. After seeing Satan's full-body portrait on the side of the arcade cabinet, I couldn't help but leap into the lion's den; the prospect of defeating the devil and becoming a Bible Camp Hero was more temptation than I could resist!
zigfried's avatar
Dinohunter (PC)

Dinohunter review (PC)

Reviewed on May 05, 2007

We've all played a multiplayer FPS before, unlike games like Far Cry, Dinohunter's gimmick isn't readily visibile in screenshots. All those show is a generic husk, a gun barrel and that familiar point and click interface. Indeed, this game isn't going to win any awards for artistic merit or for its complex gameplay. Sometimes, however, polish can be made up for with sheer overwhelming creativity and enthusiasm.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Ys III: Wanderers From Ys (PlayStation 2)

Ys III: Wanderers From Ys review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 04, 2007

As a notoriously chicanerous gamer, I am here to spoil the experience for all of you envious Falcom fans. And let me assure you of one thing: there's not much to be envious about.
zigfried's avatar
Chou-Mahou Tairiku WOZZ (SNES)

Chou-Mahou Tairiku WOZZ review (SNES)

Reviewed on May 04, 2007

The thing is, as I played through WOZZ, I found myself becoming more and more bored as time went on until I got to the point where I had to overcome a massive internal struggle just to play long enough to get through one of the game’s many dungeons. For me, the game just doesn’t have “it”.
overdrive's avatar
Absolute Obedience (PC)

Absolute Obedience review (PC)

Reviewed on May 03, 2007

fancypants's avatar
Runaway: The Dream of the Turtle (PC)

Runaway: The Dream of the Turtle review (PC)

Reviewed on May 03, 2007

Everything’s wrapped up in a torrent of solid voice acting living within a cel-shaded, cartoon-tinted wonderland that thrives in a sea of bright shades and pseudo-realism, gifting the game with a unique look and feel. The backdrops depicting lazy beaches, busy military camps, frozen wastelands or crumbling ruins are stunning; the character models tight and the whole style distinct and striking.
EmP's avatar
Baseball Simulator 1.000 (NES)

Baseball Simulator 1.000 review (NES)

Reviewed on May 02, 2007

Even ancient games like Tecmo Super Bowl proved capable of doing entire weeks of games in mere seconds. So, why does it take a good five to 10 minutes to simulate ONE game here? If you want to play two or three games at a sitting, you better have a good book on hand or you’ll be spending as much time blankly staring at your TV screen as you will playing.
overdrive's avatar
Raiden III (PlayStation 2)

Raiden III review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 02, 2007

Imagine my surprise when I took Raiden III home, excitedly put it in my PS2, and found there were no surprises to be had. There is only one ship, and the weapon system is about as barebones as they come.
pup's avatar
Great Greed (Game Boy)

Great Greed review (GB)

Reviewed on April 30, 2007

Having been abruptly stolen away in the middle of an epic battle against acid rain by the fell sorcery of Microwave, the task now falls to you – Sierra Sam, Earth Guy! – to protect once-pristine Greene Kingdom from the horrifying machinations and discarded Styrofoam containers of dread lord BIO-HAZ.
sho's avatar
Biing!: Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle (PC)

Biing!: Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle review (PC)

Reviewed on April 29, 2007

Biing! (Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle!) is more than just a hospital management sim; it’s a hospital management sim full of German – and naughty nurses!
sho's avatar
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (PC)

Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards review (PC)

Reviewed on April 26, 2007

Are you a hopeless dork? A real pathetic loser? Do your nights of great lays involve a bag of potato chips? Well take heart, for you’re not alone! Come along with Larry Laffer, socially inept computer programmer turned socially inept polyester paramour and the original 40-year old virgin, as he bumbles around the seedy city of Lost Wages looking to finally get laid!
sho's avatar
Daughter of Serpents (PC)

Daughter of Serpents review (PC)

Reviewed on April 25, 2007

Perhaps if someone had spent more time hammering out the adventure aspect of things instead of thinking up all sorts of illusionary role-playing options at the beginning the result wouldn’t be such a complete, not to mention completely obvious waste of potential.
sho's avatar
Demolition Racer: No Exit (Dreamcast)

Demolition Racer: No Exit review (DC)

Reviewed on April 24, 2007

Forget Destruction Derby: The best videogame to ever capture this is Demolition Racer. Even the name oozes more machismo.
EmP's avatar
Spectrobes (DS)

Spectrobes review (DS)

Reviewed on April 23, 2007

That your angry little pets never leave your side is doubly annoying; not only does it mean you need to put yourself right in the face of intergalactic forces that want to eat you, but should you move away when they’re attacking to avoid being hit, or should your pets get smacked across the screen, they’ll come running back to you in as direct a line as they can, even if this means running right through a group and getting smacked up themselves. Spectrobes are very stupid creatures when they’ve grown up.
EmP's avatar
Toon-Doku (DS)

Toon-Doku review (DS)

Reviewed on April 23, 2007

Toon-Doku turns things on its head by replacing the familiar digits with non-offensive picture tiles. Not only that, but it throws a whole bunch of them at you and lets you choose which you would like to have in play. It’s a nice touch, but it doesn’t do a thing to change how Sudoku plays. You still do nothing more than line up your characters the same way you have in any of the million rounds of Sudoku that you’ve played before.
honestgamer's avatar
Top Spin 2 (PC)

Top Spin 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on April 21, 2007

With that said, Top Spin 2 is still the most intricate, most amazing tennis game I have ever played. I built rivalries, I toppled pros. I found myself hunched over my desk, completely oblivious to the outside world, utterly enthralled. Every win I fought for, every shot I calculated.
True's avatar
Freak Out - Extreme Freeride (PC)

Freak Out - Extreme Freeride review (PC)

Reviewed on April 20, 2007

Whenever I'm exposed to skiing or skiing games, someone inevitably mentions powder hills, and immediately my mind drifts to donuts. Specifically the mini powdered-sugar ones. It seems strange, but after spending some time with Freakout, the comparison became surprisingly apt. You see, a donut is characterized by the fact that it's got a hole in it. So is this game.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar

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