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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Transformers: The Game (Xbox 360)

Transformers: The Game review (X360)

Reviewed on July 24, 2007

Rearranged and mutated, much of the epic feel of the film has thus been lost in translation and Transformers is left to stand solely on its playability and graphical achievement.
carcinogen_crush's avatar
Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em (Atari 2600)

Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 24, 2007

Taking control of two blocky blondes in the nude, you’re supposed to gulp down falling drops of semen being spurted from the freakishly endowed man lurking in the rooftops. Of course this is on the 2600, so his mammoth member actually looks more like a giant nose complete with itty bitty eyes; but while the graphics might have been good for their day, you’re not going to find them the least bit arousing unless you’re an utter twat.
sho's avatar
Sword of the New World: Granado Espada (PC)

Sword of the New World: Granado Espada review (PC)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

Time to phone your friends and family one last time and wave goodbye to your social life for a good long while: there's a new MMORPG in the shops, and it's a biggie.
lisanne's avatar
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 (PlayStation 2)

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

The effort you must apply toward the protagonist’s social progression is one of the most interesting things about Persona 3. If he doesn’t seize every opportunity for a conversation with one of his peers at the local high school (or in the community that lies outside its halls), he’ll be significantly outclassed by his enemies when battles occur.
honestgamer's avatar
Brooktown High: Senior Year (PSP)

Brooktown High: Senior Year review (PSP)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

The one thing that The Sims sold was complexity; the thing that Brooktown sells is fun. From the very beginning, you realize it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The game starts out with huge-headed, tiny-bodied characters playing volleyball, jumping freeways on skateboards and racing to class, while “Out Here All Night”, an upbeat and edgy tune blares in the background.
True's avatar
Disney/Pixar Ratatouille (Game Boy Advance)

Disney/Pixar Ratatouille review (GBA)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

There are license-based adventures on the Game Boy Advance that provide a fantastic experience. Ratatouille isn’t one of them. It doesn’t even come close. Without ever truly failing on a technical level, the game sucks all of the fun out of its license. The resulting product isn’t entertaining in the slightest.
honestgamer's avatar
Transformers: Decepticons (DS)

Transformers: Decepticons review (DS)

Reviewed on July 22, 2007

Whether you choose to follow the game’s story, which is told through a series of missions, or elect to simply spend the afternoon driving the police nuts by raising and lowering your “wanted” level (a gauge measuring how vigorously the authorities pursue you; smash stuff to raise the level, behave and the cops will leave you alone), there is a lot of sadistic fun to be had with the game. Being that you’re playing as a bad guy, you’ll probably want to break as much stuff as possible, if only just to live up to your name.
nimerjm37's avatar
Transformers: Autobots (DS)

Transformers: Autobots review (DS)

Reviewed on July 22, 2007

Activision and developer Vicarious Visions have really pulled something spectacular with this game. Transformers: Autobots is the kind of “sandbox” game that people have been waiting for. In the most popular “sandbox” title, the Grand Theft Auto series, players are given control of a racial stereotype and have the ability to steal cars and shoot people in an urban cityscape. Yawn. In Transformers: Autobots, you have four full stages to explore and the ability to become any car or vehicle you can imagine.
nimerjm37's avatar
Splatterhouse (Arcade)

Splatterhouse review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 21, 2007

The wanton cruelty of SplatterHouse is what really makes it worth sinking one's teeth into, much like the famished parasitic leeches that soon bore out of the surrounding rancid flesh to feast upon Rick’s warm, tasty blood if given the chance.
sho's avatar
Exit 2 (PSP)

Exit 2 review (PSP)

Reviewed on July 20, 2007

Sorry, but I've not played the first Exit and unless you're a big puzzle enthusiast or Japanese (in which case, konichi wa!) odds are, neither have you. Despite racking up respectable review scores, Taito's PSP brain teaser/action hybrid didn't fly off shelves. If the sequel is anything to go off of, that's really a bit of a shame.
EmP's avatar
Lifeline (PlayStation 2)

Lifeline review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 18, 2007

Lifeline’s notorious gimmick is the near-complete neglect of the controller. Instead, it relies upon voice recognition through the PS2 headset. Since you are stuck in the monitor room and Rio has the analytical mentality of a first-grader, you have to guide her every move through the space station via vocal commands.
pup's avatar
Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek (PC)

Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek review (PC)

Reviewed on July 17, 2007

As a mystery story, White Wolf is somewhat dry. Nancy has been hired to investigate a series of dangerous incidents, including a few explosions, at Icicle Creek Lodge, but in order to fully investigate she’ll have to pull triple duty as a maid, cook, and detective. The plot unfolds steadily enough, but there’s never really the level of intrigue or danger that it so desperately tries to achieve. Sure, there are bombings—but nobody dies. Yeah, everyone’s a viable suspect with possible motives—but, really, so what?
Knux's avatar
Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards (VGA Remake) (PC)

Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards (VGA Remake) review (PC)

Reviewed on July 17, 2007

The outlandish visuals are obviously a major leap forward – the world of Lost Wages has been completely redefined in 256-color VGA to the point where it looks like a zany cartoon. Those lovelorn ladies, on the other hand, go for sultry realism . . . except for that one time when you have to get it on with a deluxe model blow-up doll, but that doesn’t really count.
sho's avatar
Sex Vixens from Space (Amiga)

Sex Vixens from Space review (AMIGA)

Reviewed on July 16, 2007

Simply based on the title, you might expect this game to be a bad ripoff of the legendary text adventure Leather Goddesses of Phobos. Or you might be whipping out the Vaseline and old gym socks. But oh man, either way would you ever be WRONG! Unlike the pile of bad adventure games that are merely forgettable, Sex Vixens From Space actually manages to be noteworthy thanks to reverse achievement. Whether pretty graphics, raunchy humor or rugged sex appeal, there’s no start to its good points.
sho's avatar
Vapor Trail (Genesis)

Vapor Trail review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 13, 2007

In Vapor Trail you can take three hits before blowing up while your pilot’s WONDERFULLY digitized voice utters something along the lines of ”A gin olt gi!” (possible translation: “I can’t hold it!”). Oh, and this isn’t just a case of giving a player one plane that can take three hits — you have three lives, as well. Sure, the next life will start out with no weaponry beyond a weak gun, but this game still is far more generous than the average shooter.
overdrive's avatar
Marvel Trading Card Game (DS)

Marvel Trading Card Game review (DS)

Reviewed on July 12, 2007

The nice thing about card games is that they allow for an absurd number of characters to be included, even if their roles are nearly meaningless. This lends itself nicely to a world like Marvel, where characters already exist in spades, and don't have to be created to suit the game. Everyone can find a home in a deck of cards.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Attack on Pearl Harbor (PC)

Attack on Pearl Harbor review (PC)

Reviewed on July 11, 2007

Choosing to play as either a Japanese or American pilot, you'll follow the tale of a single air force member from start to finish. The single-player game involves following a clever mission-based campaign mode, fighting the real battles of the war in the South Pacific.
lisanne's avatar
Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree (Wii)

Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree review (WII)

Reviewed on July 10, 2007

It's hard to find a title explicitly set on teaching that players will want to get better at and that everyone in the family can enjoy together.
draqq_zyxx's avatar
The King of Fighters 2006 (PlayStation 2)

The King of Fighters 2006 review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 09, 2007

When you buy this game, you will be holding in your hands the game that you really hoped the first one was. You will have the game that you wanted, that you needed, and that you deserved.
cheekylee's avatar
Disney/Pixar Ratatouille (Wii)

Disney/Pixar Ratatouille review (WII)

Reviewed on July 06, 2007

It also happens to be a title that was clearly developed with the PlayStation 2 in mind. The game works like a charm on the system, and there are times when the Wii version feels clunky by comparison. Fortunately for the Wii, the inverse is sometimes true. For example, there are many places where Remy will run along a series of wires, or jump across a series of poles suspended high in the air. With the Wii Remote and Nunchuk, it’s easy to pull off such daring moves.
honestgamer's avatar

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