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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews

Maniac Mansion (Famicom) (NES)

Maniac Mansion (Famicom) review (NES)

Reviewed on July 28, 2007

Every fan of awesome graphic adventures knows that Maniac Mansion is one of the all-time classics of the genre and that it can’t possibly get any weirder than it already is. However only one of these statements is actually true! While 1990 saw an excellent NES conversion that was developed in-house by LucasArts themselves, publisher Jaleco had actually created their own Japanese-only version two years before. And as we all know, whenever you get Japanese programmers and tentacles together, mayhem is sure to ensue.
sho's avatar
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii)

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess review (WII)

Reviewed on July 27, 2007

I liked the game, darn it! It is majestic, captivating, engrossing, and above all, fun. So what's my problem?!
draqq_zyxx's avatar
Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones (PlayStation 2)

Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 26, 2007

Getting close to an unsuspecting enemy will cause things to slow down and go blurry, allowing the prince to initiate a very fast, and very stylish kill. His dagger will flash blue when the time is right to hit the attack button. If your timing is off, you'll bollocks up the sequence, and have to fight the enemy the old fashioned way, or else use a Sand Tank to rewind time and try it again.
Masters's avatar
Seirei Senshi Spriggan (Turbografx-CD)

Seirei Senshi Spriggan review (TGCD)

Reviewed on July 26, 2007

To truly succeed, to inspire awe and admiration, a shooter needs more than lots of things to shoot at. It needs depth, and it needs heart — fortunately, Spriggan delivers both.
zigfried's avatar
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee (PlayStation)

Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 25, 2007

With a forebodingly somber score and intricately detailed, pre-rendered backgrounds, Abe’s Oddysee is a sensual luxury, but the gameplay is straight from Out of This World, and just as hard.
pup's avatar
Dragon View (SNES)

Dragon View review (SNES)

Reviewed on July 25, 2007

Part of the reason I found so many of the monsters to be easy to kill was because I'd wind up blundering through so many one-way doors and had to fight the same groups of enemies repeatedly that, for a good portion of the game, Alex was over-leveled for just about everything he faced.
overdrive's avatar
Transformers: The Game (Xbox 360)

Transformers: The Game review (X360)

Reviewed on July 24, 2007

Rearranged and mutated, much of the epic feel of the film has thus been lost in translation and Transformers is left to stand solely on its playability and graphical achievement.
carcinogen_crush's avatar
Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em (Atari 2600)

Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 24, 2007

Taking control of two blocky blondes in the nude, you’re supposed to gulp down falling drops of semen being spurted from the freakishly endowed man lurking in the rooftops. Of course this is on the 2600, so his mammoth member actually looks more like a giant nose complete with itty bitty eyes; but while the graphics might have been good for their day, you’re not going to find them the least bit arousing unless you’re an utter twat.
sho's avatar
Sword of the New World: Granado Espada (PC)

Sword of the New World: Granado Espada review (PC)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

Time to phone your friends and family one last time and wave goodbye to your social life for a good long while: there's a new MMORPG in the shops, and it's a biggie.
lisanne's avatar
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 (PlayStation 2)

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

The effort you must apply toward the protagonist’s social progression is one of the most interesting things about Persona 3. If he doesn’t seize every opportunity for a conversation with one of his peers at the local high school (or in the community that lies outside its halls), he’ll be significantly outclassed by his enemies when battles occur.
honestgamer's avatar
Brooktown High: Senior Year (PSP)

Brooktown High: Senior Year review (PSP)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

The one thing that The Sims sold was complexity; the thing that Brooktown sells is fun. From the very beginning, you realize it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The game starts out with huge-headed, tiny-bodied characters playing volleyball, jumping freeways on skateboards and racing to class, while “Out Here All Night”, an upbeat and edgy tune blares in the background.
True's avatar
Disney/Pixar Ratatouille (Game Boy Advance)

Disney/Pixar Ratatouille review (GBA)

Reviewed on July 23, 2007

There are license-based adventures on the Game Boy Advance that provide a fantastic experience. Ratatouille isn’t one of them. It doesn’t even come close. Without ever truly failing on a technical level, the game sucks all of the fun out of its license. The resulting product isn’t entertaining in the slightest.
honestgamer's avatar
Transformers: Decepticons (DS)

Transformers: Decepticons review (DS)

Reviewed on July 22, 2007

Whether you choose to follow the game’s story, which is told through a series of missions, or elect to simply spend the afternoon driving the police nuts by raising and lowering your “wanted” level (a gauge measuring how vigorously the authorities pursue you; smash stuff to raise the level, behave and the cops will leave you alone), there is a lot of sadistic fun to be had with the game. Being that you’re playing as a bad guy, you’ll probably want to break as much stuff as possible, if only just to live up to your name.
nimerjm37's avatar
Transformers: Autobots (DS)

Transformers: Autobots review (DS)

Reviewed on July 22, 2007

Activision and developer Vicarious Visions have really pulled something spectacular with this game. Transformers: Autobots is the kind of “sandbox” game that people have been waiting for. In the most popular “sandbox” title, the Grand Theft Auto series, players are given control of a racial stereotype and have the ability to steal cars and shoot people in an urban cityscape. Yawn. In Transformers: Autobots, you have four full stages to explore and the ability to become any car or vehicle you can imagine.
nimerjm37's avatar
Splatterhouse (Arcade)

Splatterhouse review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 21, 2007

The wanton cruelty of SplatterHouse is what really makes it worth sinking one's teeth into, much like the famished parasitic leeches that soon bore out of the surrounding rancid flesh to feast upon Rick’s warm, tasty blood if given the chance.
sho's avatar
Exit 2 (PSP)

Exit 2 review (PSP)

Reviewed on July 20, 2007

Sorry, but I've not played the first Exit and unless you're a big puzzle enthusiast or Japanese (in which case, konichi wa!) odds are, neither have you. Despite racking up respectable review scores, Taito's PSP brain teaser/action hybrid didn't fly off shelves. If the sequel is anything to go off of, that's really a bit of a shame.
EmP's avatar
Lifeline (PlayStation 2)

Lifeline review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 18, 2007

Lifeline’s notorious gimmick is the near-complete neglect of the controller. Instead, it relies upon voice recognition through the PS2 headset. Since you are stuck in the monitor room and Rio has the analytical mentality of a first-grader, you have to guide her every move through the space station via vocal commands.
pup's avatar
Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek (PC)

Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek review (PC)

Reviewed on July 17, 2007

As a mystery story, White Wolf is somewhat dry. Nancy has been hired to investigate a series of dangerous incidents, including a few explosions, at Icicle Creek Lodge, but in order to fully investigate she’ll have to pull triple duty as a maid, cook, and detective. The plot unfolds steadily enough, but there’s never really the level of intrigue or danger that it so desperately tries to achieve. Sure, there are bombings—but nobody dies. Yeah, everyone’s a viable suspect with possible motives—but, really, so what?
Knux's avatar
Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards (VGA Remake) (PC)

Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards (VGA Remake) review (PC)

Reviewed on July 17, 2007

The outlandish visuals are obviously a major leap forward – the world of Lost Wages has been completely redefined in 256-color VGA to the point where it looks like a zany cartoon. Those lovelorn ladies, on the other hand, go for sultry realism . . . except for that one time when you have to get it on with a deluxe model blow-up doll, but that doesn’t really count.
sho's avatar
Sex Vixens from Space (Amiga)

Sex Vixens from Space review (AMIGA)

Reviewed on July 16, 2007

Simply based on the title, you might expect this game to be a bad ripoff of the legendary text adventure Leather Goddesses of Phobos. Or you might be whipping out the Vaseline and old gym socks. But oh man, either way would you ever be WRONG! Unlike the pile of bad adventure games that are merely forgettable, Sex Vixens From Space actually manages to be noteworthy thanks to reverse achievement. Whether pretty graphics, raunchy humor or rugged sex appeal, there’s no start to its good points.
sho's avatar

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