Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

	Runaway: The Dream of the Turtle review (PC) Reviewed by Gary Hartley on May 03, 2007 - # Everything’s wrapped up in a torrent of solid voice acting living within a cel-shaded, cartoon-tinted wonderland that thrives in a sea of bright shades and pseudo-realism, gifting the game with a unique look and feel. The backdrops depicting lazy beaches, busy military camps, frozen wastelands or crumbling ruins are stunning; the character models tight and the whole style distinct and striking.
	Baseball Simulator 1.000 review (NES) Reviewed by Rob Hamilton on May 02, 2007 - # Even ancient games like Tecmo Super Bowl proved capable of doing entire weeks of games in mere seconds. So, why does it take a good five to 10 minutes to simulate ONE game here? If you want to play two or three games at a sitting, you better have a good book on hand or you’ll be spending as much time blankly staring at your TV screen as you will playing.
	Raiden III review (PS2) Reviewed by Brian Rowe on May 02, 2007 - # Imagine my surprise when I took Raiden III home, excitedly put it in my PS2, and found there were no surprises to be had. There is only one ship, and the weapon system is about as barebones as they come.
	Great Greed review (GB) Reviewed by Sho on April 30, 2007 - # Having been abruptly stolen away in the middle of an epic battle against acid rain by the fell sorcery of Microwave, the task now falls to you – Sierra Sam, Earth Guy! – to protect once-pristine Greene Kingdom from the horrifying machinations and discarded Styrofoam containers of dread lord BIO-HAZ.
	Biing!: Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle review (PC) Reviewed by Sho on April 29, 2007 - # Biing! (Sex, Intrigen und Skalpelle!) is more than just a hospital management sim; it’s a hospital management sim full of German – and naughty nurses! Yes, not only did proud pornographic developer ReLine go for a hearty helping of outrageous black humor à la Theme Hospital, but you’re constantly surrounded by cheeky cartoon women baring their big, bouncy pleasure globes for medicinal purposes. This is because all Deutschlanders are complete perverts, but surprisingly enough even without all the eurofilth this would still make for a pretty decent game.
	Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards review (PC) Reviewed by Sho on April 26, 2007 - # Are you a hopeless dork? A real pathetic loser? Do your nights of great lays involve a bag of potato chips? Well take heart, for you’re not alone! Come along with Larry Laffer, socially inept computer programmer turned socially inept polyester paramour and the original 40-year old virgin, as he bumbles around the seedy city of Lost Wages looking to finally get laid!
	Daughter of Serpents review (PC) Reviewed by Sho on April 25, 2007 - # Perhaps if someone had spent more time hammering out the adventure aspect of things instead of thinking up all sorts of illusionary role-playing options at the beginning the result wouldn’t be such a complete, not to mention completely obvious waste of potential.
	Demolition Racer: No Exit review (DC) Reviewed by Gary Hartley on April 24, 2007 - # Forget Destruction Derby: The best videogame to ever capture this is Demolition Racer. Even the name oozes more machismo.
	Spectrobes review (DS) Reviewed by Gary Hartley on April 23, 2007 - # That your angry little pets never leave your side is doubly annoying; not only does it mean you need to put yourself right in the face of intergalactic forces that want to eat you, but should you move away when they’re attacking to avoid being hit, or should your pets get smacked across the screen, they’ll come running back to you in as direct a line as they can, even if this means running right through a group and getting smacked up themselves. Spectrobes are very stupid creatures when they’ve grown up.
	Toon-Doku review (DS) Reviewed by Jason Venter on April 23, 2007 - # Toon-Doku turns things on its head by replacing the familiar digits with non-offensive picture tiles. Not only that, but it throws a whole bunch of them at you and lets you choose which you would like to have in play. It’s a nice touch, but it doesn’t do a thing to change how Sudoku plays. You still do nothing more than line up your characters the same way you have in any of the million rounds of Sudoku that you’ve played before.
	Top Spin 2 review (PC) Reviewed by Greg Knoll on April 21, 2007 - # With that said, Top Spin 2 is still the most intricate, most amazing tennis game I have ever played. I built rivalries, I toppled pros. I found myself hunched over my desk, completely oblivious to the outside world, utterly enthralled. Every win I fought for, every shot I calculated.
	Freak Out - Extreme Freeride review (PC) Reviewed by Josh Higley on April 20, 2007 - # Whenever I'm exposed to skiing or skiing games, someone inevitably mentions powder hills, and immediately my mind drifts to donuts. Specifically the mini powdered-sugar ones. It seems strange, but after spending some time with Freakout, the comparison became surprisingly apt. You see, a donut is characterized by the fact that it's got a hole in it. So is this game.
	Resident Evil 4 review (PS2) Reviewed by Marc Golding on April 20, 2007 - # In RE4, you are armed to the teeth, but your enemies’ insistence, their thirst for your pain, and their sheer numbers create more compelling and dire circumstances than a few zombies or “nurses” after an unfortunate pipe-bearing player ever could.
	Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure review (PSP) Reviewed by Jason Venter on April 19, 2007 - # Rather than rely on an obvious weapon like a sword or stick, Parin uses a drill. It’s her sole offensive measure and one more reason Gurumin is so memorable. With a sword, all the rock walls she encounters might have lacked any significance. With a drill, though, they represent the opportunity for exploration.
	Star Ocean: The Second Story review (PSX) Reviewed by Rob Hamilton on April 18, 2007 - # I remember easily winning one of the final boss fights with ease solely because my constant attacking was preventing him from doing much of anything. On the other hand, an earlier battle seemed near-impossible because one of my two opponents had no problems with slipping away from me and leaping into the air, immolating himself (while screaming dementedly) and slamming into the middle of the fray, creating a fiery inferno worth several thousand hit points of damage to any of my characters unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity.
	Made Man review (PS2) Reviewed by Zack Little on April 18, 2007 - # If you’re looking for a innovative game with blazing action and insane challenge, you could do a lot worse than Made Man…but you could do much better, too.
	Sam & Max Episode 5 - Reality 2.0 review (PC) Reviewed by Gary Hartley on April 09, 2007 - # Max demands your attention!
	Disney's Meet the Robinsons review (PS2) Reviewed by Brian Rowe on April 06, 2007 - # Meet The Robinsons is the type of light-hearted, family-friendly adventure that parents can feel safe about letting their pre-teens play. There is no death, no vulgar humor, no person-on-person violence, and the gameplay is challenging without being frustrating.
	Gals Panic 4 review (ARC) Reviewed by Sho on April 03, 2007 - # You might think you know all about this type of game, in which case you’re probably some sort of perverted weirdo, but Gals Panic 4 is actually a big, bouncy departure for the series – and definitely for the better.
	Honeycomb Beat review (DS) Reviewed by Jason Venter on April 02, 2007 - # The game’s real beauty is that it has something for any puzzle game aficionado. If you like to take your time and think things through, the ‘Puzzle’ mode is that perfect blend of frustration and addiction that will keep you locked in its icy, wicked grasp for a very long while. Meanwhile, ten stages of varying speed give ‘Evolution’ mode some definite longevity.

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