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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Splatterhouse (Arcade)

Splatterhouse review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2008

I didn't think I'd be smacking rotting zombies to death with their own limbs or smashing corpses hung from nooses like macabre pińatas wide open with axes. When a disturbing individual with a cloth bag tied over its head assaulted me with twin chainsaws where its hands should have be, it gave me quite a start. This was an arcade cabinet set next door the The Simpson's brawler; kids were watching!
EmP's avatar
Roogoo (Xbox 360)

Roogoo review (X360)

Reviewed on June 14, 2008

It’s an extremely simple concept, but it has an addictive quality to it and is easily accessible for the hardcore and casuals. As you progress through the forty-five single-player levels, various obstacles are introduced to makes things a little more challenging.
PAJ89's avatar
Road Avenger (Sega CD)

Road Avenger review (SCD)

Reviewed on June 13, 2008

Road Avenger isn’t just Wolf Team’s finest laserdisc conversion, it’s clearly the greatest FMV game on Sega CD and the best damn thing Data East was ever responsible for in their long and largely mediocre history. Okay, so maybe those last two aren’t exactly what you’d call ringing endorsements, but rest assured that from the moment you boot up this bad boy you’re in for naught but burning hot AWESOME.
sho's avatar
Speed Racer: The Videogame (DS)

Speed Racer: The Videogame review (DS)

Reviewed on June 13, 2008

You won’t have much time to pay attention to your surroundings, however; in the vein of such series as Wipeout and F-Zero, Speed Racer: The Videogame is set in a futuristic society where races move fast! At the beginning of the race, you can expect to accelerate from zero to 300 miles/h within seconds; at top speed, your vehicle will approach Mach 1. Nevertheless, the experience isn’t completely about speed; it’s also about style...
yamishuryou's avatar
BioShock (PC)

BioShock review (PC)

Reviewed on June 12, 2008

BioShock is an expertly crafted and finely tuned videogame: every inch of the level design has its place and purpose, and most of that purpose involves creating an astonishingly believable world out of something so incredible. The series of giant hubs that comprise the city are exactly as you’d expect the different districts to look, and contain exactly the amenities you'd expect to find there. The architecture in particular is wonderful: a phenomenal fusion of elaborate 50s art deco with the metallic necessity of constructing such an underwater world. Even the true greats at creating a palpable, utterly plausible environment – Deus Ex, Half-Life, System Shock 2 – didn't come anywhere near this incredible accomplishment.
Lewis's avatar
George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret (Wii)

George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret review (WII)

Reviewed on June 12, 2008

Despite being an initially promising platformer, its charm is spoiled by pointless motion control, absent collision detection and unforgiving enemy encounters.
Crazyreyn's avatar
Belief & Betrayal (PC)

Belief & Betrayal review (PC)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Belief & Betrayal is the latest adventure title from Italian developer Artematica Interactive, the company behind such horrors as the horrible Druuna game from 2001. Seven years later, and things haven't moved on all that much. The back-story and introduction are essentially made up of badly paced, unconvincing and uninteresting drivel. The blokes at Artematica seem to have tried reeling in the 'Da Vinci Code' crowd with an entirely unimaginative narrative centred around conspiracies within the Catholic Church, but the plot lacks so much conviction that it was always going to be impossible to pull off.
Lewis's avatar
Revolution X (Arcade)

Revolution X review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Maybe I feel sorry because it gives me less of a chance to rip on the idea of a heavy-duty assault rifle's secondary weapon hurling CD's so destructive they effortlessly destroy APCs. And helicopters Maybe I feel robbed of the opportunity to tell you how Revolution X is set in a world that revolves around Areosmith, while, at the same time, hates Aerosmith so much that a dedicated group hell-bent on their silence grew large enough to effortlessly capture the planet.
EmP's avatar
Medal of Honor: Vanguard (PlayStation 2)

Medal of Honor: Vanguard review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Now, instead of using canteens and first aid kits to restore health, all you have to do is duck out of the fray for a bit. Keegan can completely regenerate his health in a matter of seconds if he is able to avoid getting shot. To make this easier than you might expect, a good number of Nazis seem content to stay in one place and wait for you to enter their shooting range, as opposed to pursuing you in order to deal that killing blow.
overdrive's avatar
Dracula: Origin (PC)

Dracula: Origin review (PC)

Reviewed on June 10, 2008

Torchlight flickers ominously, shifting the shadows cast by ghostly slivers of light invading the darkness through a network of cracks in the ancient ceiling. A silver tomb sits surrounded by a slew of human remains; bared ribcages, chewed femurs, a shattered skull. An unholy groan emits from the coffin and, from an exposed hole in the corner snakes a rotting arm, longingly reaching for you. If a hungry immortal was not enough, behind the undead monster floats a malevolent green fog, one completely impassable without knowing the rite of passage. These events may not have come from Stoker’s pen, but may as well have.
EmP's avatar
Emergency Heroes (Wii)

Emergency Heroes review (WII)

Reviewed on June 10, 2008

Well, the way this works is that you have one of three districts—later all combined into one—where you drive through crowded traffic to find glowing columns of light that represent missions. The time spent between said missions is mostly devoid of anything worthwhile, since you can only occasionally find diversions and they can pull you away from wherever you're supposed to be headed. Worse, the traffic you must navigate is downright annoying.
honestgamer's avatar
Half-Life: Blue Shift (PC)

Half-Life: Blue Shift review (PC)

Reviewed on June 09, 2008

If Blue Shift were merely a simple rehash of everything we saw in Half-Life, I’d be cool with it, since I adored that game and would have loved to see more. But this expansion lacks many of the masterful touches that made Valve’s first-person shooter stand out so much. Level design is straightforward, mechanical, and lacks imagination; way too much of the game’s first act is spent wandering through some nondescript sewer system, turning wheels and pushing buttons and swimming down canals and all that. The game does eventually pick up a bit, during a semi-cool run through a train yard sporting a number of mildly exciting skirmishes with your old military opponents, but even here, the game lacks the energy and knack for big, “epic” moments that the original (and even, occasionally, Opposing Force) did so well.
Suskie's avatar
Great War Nations: The Spartans (PC)

Great War Nations: The Spartans review (PC)

Reviewed on June 09, 2008

I thought this was supposed to be a historical RTS. You know, based on actual history. That's what it sells itself as, anyway...But I'm reasonably certain none of the ancient civilizations of the Mediterranean had the power to throw magical fireballs.
WilltheGreat's avatar
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Game Boy Color)

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons review (GBC)

Reviewed on June 09, 2008

Take Dodongo, for example. To defeat this chap, you first have to use the tried and true strategy of feeding him bombs. Then, after he's stunned by the explosion, using the power bracelet, you must pick him up and toss him onto a bed of spikes before he regains his equilibrium.
overdrive's avatar
Half-Life: Opposing Force (PC)

Half-Life: Opposing Force review (PC)

Reviewed on June 08, 2008

My least-favorite segment of Half-Life was the journey through the border world Xen at the end, only because the human factor had been taken out of the equation, and battling the far less intelligent alien grunts got old after a while. Much of Opposing Force more or less feels like that entire sequence, only set in the Black Mesa facility itself. The good news is that the action is kept fairly interesting throughout thanks to some new (tougher) alien baddies to fight (whom I later learned are not from Xen, but from… uh, somewhere else). The game is simply never as exciting or action-packed as the original often was.
Suskie's avatar
Kung Fu Panda (PlayStation 3)

Kung Fu Panda review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 07, 2008

Fans of more demanding gameplay will be sad to hear that there's not really ever a moment—even at the very end—where the game grows challenging enough to test veteran gamers. There are three difficulty modes so that you can push yourself more if you're interested, but most gamers will probably like the default settings just fine. Enemies offer token resistance and death in combat won't occur often at all.
honestgamer's avatar
Haze (PlayStation 3)

Haze review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 05, 2008

As a Mantel soldier, you’ll feel the power of Nectar with a bird’s-eye camera shift, a display that could be described as a vacuum that’s trying to devour your world. The devoured image quickly pops out, replacing the standard game view with an enhanced look at your enemies, who are now highlighted with a yellow glow. Bullets are taken with less damage, and your shields will replenish much quicker.
louis_bedigian's avatar
Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES)

Reviewed on June 02, 2008

There are big fish to fry in the waters of world three and even bigger brothers walk the landscape of four. In five, a spiral palace ominously leads high up into the clouds, but you won’t want to rush to get there; you’re a shoe in anyway. Six is where obstacles get downright frigid, but a sharp mind and some nifty tricks will keep Mario hammering away. It’ll take more than a pipe dream to sink the brain twisting, precision demanding puzzles of world seven. And as for eight, the final stomping grounds and home of the nefarious King of the Koopas, this author is going to have to leave you in the dark.
drella's avatar
Half-Life (PC)

Half-Life review (PC)

Reviewed on June 01, 2008

There’s a surprise around every corner, be it a new enemy, a new platforming challenge, or some new method of simply scaring the piss out of you, like watching a scientist get sucked into a hole in the wall, only to see him re-emerge in pieces a moment later. Take out any five-minute segment of Half-Life and it probably wouldn’t seem like anything particularly special – you have to play it all at once to fully understand just how well each piece compliments the next, how it all adds up to one nearly seamless FPS experience with rarely a single dull moment, or even one that feels like what you’ve already been through. It is truly greater than the sum of its parts.
Suskie's avatar
Resident Evil 4 (PlayStation 2)

Resident Evil 4 review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 29, 2008

Those early-game villagers utilize all sorts of farming implements, such as pitchforks, sickles and hatchets, in their attempts to end Leon's mission prematurely. And they're the patsies. Just wait until one of their heads explodes to release a tentacle-flailing parasite seemingly crafted in the darkest recesses of H.P. Lovecraft's imagination. Or a gigantic ogre lumbers into the fray, rips a gnarled tree out of the ground and starts swinging it around like it was light as a feather. Or a monstrous semi-invisible bug pounces, spraying Leon with acidic secretions.
overdrive's avatar

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