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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Sins of a Solar Empire (PC)

Sins of a Solar Empire review (PC)

Reviewed on June 23, 2008

Sometimes it feels like the word massive was invented for this game, or if it wasn't, that until now you didn't really know what massive meant. Like maybe before you though elephants were massive, or whales, but then you play Ironclad's universe spanning RTS and you realise that elephants and whales are tiny, insignificant specks, smeared on the windscreen of a gigantic battlecruiser in the midst of a million, billion stars. It really is quite big.
harry_slater's avatar
Gals Panic S Extra Edition (Arcade)

Gals Panic S Extra Edition review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 22, 2008

One of the most striking differences actually won't impress a lot of folks: there are fewer bared breasts to see. The highlight of the original Gals Panic was that you could clear stages three times to finally uncover a drawing that portrayed the lovely lady of your choice with bosom exposed, smiling sweetly. Then the game would flash to a photograph of the girl that inspired the sketch—in the same pose—and that would stay on the screen long enough for adolescents to sigh adoringly before things progressed to the stage selection area. In Gals Panic S, that simply doesn't happen.
honestgamer's avatar
Spellforce Universe (PC)

Spellforce Universe review (PC)

Reviewed on June 21, 2008

It's hard to dispute the value of Spellforce Universe. The world is nearly endless, with many MANY locations to see, and an amount of lore that would fill a mighty tome. Quests come in piles to rival those of bodies left in your wake. For every flaw, there's a strength to hold it up, and a reason to persevere. Whether your goal is to see the next story, or see the next character ability, the game has something for you. After all, there's an entire universe awaiting.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Summon Night: Twin Age (DS)

Summon Night: Twin Age review (DS)

Reviewed on June 21, 2008

Even the concern that she'll run out of magic is nullified by a skill that allows her to regenerate it on the fly—only a few seconds of charging are required, which is inconvenient but generally not lethal thanks to the invulnerability—meaning that once you progress to a certain point you won't even have to worry about purchasing restorative items. Comrades slain will revive themselves after a bit, as well, so if you're reduced to just Reiha you can play tag until the situation improves, or even stand next to the enemy repeatedly using skills so that it can't hurt you.
honestgamer's avatar
SNK Arcade Classics: Vol. 1 (PSP)

SNK Arcade Classics: Vol. 1 review (PSP)

Reviewed on June 20, 2008

Magician Lord is still gorgeous. Its backdrops are utterly otherworldly; its foregrounds brim with fantasy book life. Long-armed, bipedal beasts and gaggles of skeletons patrol the outer realms framed by unearthly mountain range and sky. Leap-deterring, hovering spheres; amorphous, wall-hugging gelatin; and spinning eyeballs actually seem alien -- not your garden variety projectile-spitters.
Masters's avatar
Taboo: The Sixth Sense (NES)

Taboo: The Sixth Sense review (NES)

Reviewed on June 19, 2008

The aptly titled Taboo is a tarot card simulator, carelessly employing the forbidden arts of divination and possibly necromancy in order to answer those burning mysteries of the universe like “Will Jack Thompson ever get laid?” or “When will Duke Nukem Forever be finished?” (The answer to both of these questions, at least according to my male roommate Natas, is an emphatic “never.”) Dare to play it even once and you’ll quickly realize that this so-called “game,” despite bearing Nintendo’s protective Seal of Quality, was obviously hewn from naught but the crimson hand of Satan himself – and believe me, I know a thing or two about Satan.
sho's avatar
Time Soldiers (Arcade)

Time Soldiers review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 17, 2008

Unfortunately, every Time Soldiers triumph is canceled out by a flaw. If you don't know what you're doing, you'll find yourself repeating some areas more times than you'd care to count. That's because there are frequent warp points between the different time periods. So if you're trying to clear one zone and it's not the one you were instructed to explore, the game will let you go on your merry way... but no boss will ever appear and you'll just keep cycling through useless terrain until you catch onto your mistake and hop the next portal to a different setting.
honestgamer's avatar
Deja Vu: A Nightmare Comes True (Amiga)

Deja Vu: A Nightmare Comes True review (AMIGA)

Reviewed on June 16, 2008

Even after regaining consciousness your mind seems hopelessly lost in an inky void, like thick molasses drowned in a bitter cup of black coffee and poured all over a lonely asphalt street on a moonless night. The merciless glare of lights overhead sting your protesting eyes like a swarm of angry, switchblade-winged hornets when it begins to dawn that you’ve woken up in a seedy bar’s even seedier toilet stall – and you have no idea how you got here, why you’re covered in dried blood, or even who you are. But this is no time for ridiculously cheesy monologues – there’s a body upstairs suffering from a serious case of lead poisoning and Chicago’s finest are already out for your head, assuming what’s left of your brain doesn’t do itself in first.
sho's avatar
P.O.W.: Prisoners of War (Arcade)

P.O.W.: Prisoners of War review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 16, 2008

I refuse to mince words. P.O.W. Prisoners of War is a game so fucking awful even the genre’s staunchest supporter cannot point to a redeeming snippet. Double Dragon 3 had some kitsch. Mug Smashers had some unintended humor. Even Street Smart – unsurprisingly, another SNK disaster – wasn’t this much of a miserable abomination; it at least had the courtesy to not drag out for this long.
drella's avatar
Splatterhouse (Arcade)

Splatterhouse review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2008

I didn't think I'd be smacking rotting zombies to death with their own limbs or smashing corpses hung from nooses like macabre pińatas wide open with axes. When a disturbing individual with a cloth bag tied over its head assaulted me with twin chainsaws where its hands should have be, it gave me quite a start. This was an arcade cabinet set next door the The Simpson's brawler; kids were watching!
EmP's avatar
Roogoo (Xbox 360)

Roogoo review (X360)

Reviewed on June 14, 2008

It’s an extremely simple concept, but it has an addictive quality to it and is easily accessible for the hardcore and casuals. As you progress through the forty-five single-player levels, various obstacles are introduced to makes things a little more challenging.
PAJ89's avatar
Road Avenger (Sega CD)

Road Avenger review (SCD)

Reviewed on June 13, 2008

Road Avenger isn’t just Wolf Team’s finest laserdisc conversion, it’s clearly the greatest FMV game on Sega CD and the best damn thing Data East was ever responsible for in their long and largely mediocre history. Okay, so maybe those last two aren’t exactly what you’d call ringing endorsements, but rest assured that from the moment you boot up this bad boy you’re in for naught but burning hot AWESOME.
sho's avatar
Speed Racer: The Videogame (DS)

Speed Racer: The Videogame review (DS)

Reviewed on June 13, 2008

You won’t have much time to pay attention to your surroundings, however; in the vein of such series as Wipeout and F-Zero, Speed Racer: The Videogame is set in a futuristic society where races move fast! At the beginning of the race, you can expect to accelerate from zero to 300 miles/h within seconds; at top speed, your vehicle will approach Mach 1. Nevertheless, the experience isn’t completely about speed; it’s also about style...
yamishuryou's avatar
BioShock (PC)

BioShock review (PC)

Reviewed on June 12, 2008

BioShock is an expertly crafted and finely tuned videogame: every inch of the level design has its place and purpose, and most of that purpose involves creating an astonishingly believable world out of something so incredible. The series of giant hubs that comprise the city are exactly as you’d expect the different districts to look, and contain exactly the amenities you'd expect to find there. The architecture in particular is wonderful: a phenomenal fusion of elaborate 50s art deco with the metallic necessity of constructing such an underwater world. Even the true greats at creating a palpable, utterly plausible environment – Deus Ex, Half-Life, System Shock 2 – didn't come anywhere near this incredible accomplishment.
Lewis's avatar
George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret (Wii)

George of the Jungle and the Search for the Secret review (WII)

Reviewed on June 12, 2008

Despite being an initially promising platformer, its charm is spoiled by pointless motion control, absent collision detection and unforgiving enemy encounters.
Crazyreyn's avatar
Belief & Betrayal (PC)

Belief & Betrayal review (PC)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Belief & Betrayal is the latest adventure title from Italian developer Artematica Interactive, the company behind such horrors as the horrible Druuna game from 2001. Seven years later, and things haven't moved on all that much. The back-story and introduction are essentially made up of badly paced, unconvincing and uninteresting drivel. The blokes at Artematica seem to have tried reeling in the 'Da Vinci Code' crowd with an entirely unimaginative narrative centred around conspiracies within the Catholic Church, but the plot lacks so much conviction that it was always going to be impossible to pull off.
Lewis's avatar
Revolution X (Arcade)

Revolution X review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Maybe I feel sorry because it gives me less of a chance to rip on the idea of a heavy-duty assault rifle's secondary weapon hurling CD's so destructive they effortlessly destroy APCs. And helicopters Maybe I feel robbed of the opportunity to tell you how Revolution X is set in a world that revolves around Areosmith, while, at the same time, hates Aerosmith so much that a dedicated group hell-bent on their silence grew large enough to effortlessly capture the planet.
EmP's avatar
Medal of Honor: Vanguard (PlayStation 2)

Medal of Honor: Vanguard review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 11, 2008

Now, instead of using canteens and first aid kits to restore health, all you have to do is duck out of the fray for a bit. Keegan can completely regenerate his health in a matter of seconds if he is able to avoid getting shot. To make this easier than you might expect, a good number of Nazis seem content to stay in one place and wait for you to enter their shooting range, as opposed to pursuing you in order to deal that killing blow.
overdrive's avatar
Dracula: Origin (PC)

Dracula: Origin review (PC)

Reviewed on June 10, 2008

Torchlight flickers ominously, shifting the shadows cast by ghostly slivers of light invading the darkness through a network of cracks in the ancient ceiling. A silver tomb sits surrounded by a slew of human remains; bared ribcages, chewed femurs, a shattered skull. An unholy groan emits from the coffin and, from an exposed hole in the corner snakes a rotting arm, longingly reaching for you. If a hungry immortal was not enough, behind the undead monster floats a malevolent green fog, one completely impassable without knowing the rite of passage. These events may not have come from Stoker’s pen, but may as well have.
EmP's avatar
Emergency Heroes (Wii)

Emergency Heroes review (WII)

Reviewed on June 10, 2008

Well, the way this works is that you have one of three districts—later all combined into one—where you drive through crowded traffic to find glowing columns of light that represent missions. The time spent between said missions is mostly devoid of anything worthwhile, since you can only occasionally find diversions and they can pull you away from wherever you're supposed to be headed. Worse, the traffic you must navigate is downright annoying.
honestgamer's avatar

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