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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Panic Restaurant (NES)

Panic Restaurant review (NES)

Reviewed on January 21, 2009

You control an elderly chef who finds that a villainous counterpart named OHDOVE has just taken over his restaurant AND somehow made all the food homicidal. Personally, I'm a bit skeptical as to how food that attacks people is going to help this place keep customers happy, but unlike OHDOVE, I've never presumed to be a qualified restaurant owner.
overdrive's avatar
Dokapon Kingdom (Wii)

Dokapon Kingdom review (WII)

Reviewed on January 21, 2009

Early on you'll groan with disgust when you lose a fight and have to sit out for three rounds to recuperate. Before long, though, you're learning how to beef up your warrior with levels and equipment. You're mastering the fine art of swooping in for the victory just as two rivals have worn each other down to slivers of life. You're warping across the map to rest up at a safe town, or using items you've gathered to wreak havoc from afar. You're coming to understand that your opponents will always be lucky in battle but that maybe you can plan carefully and be luckier still.
honestgamer's avatar
Cake Mania: In the Mix! (Wii)

Cake Mania: In the Mix! review (WII)

Reviewed on January 20, 2009

Momentum is important in Cake Mania: In the Mix, paramount even. If you can't maintain it along with a sense of working rhythm, the game will unapologetically eat you for lunch. It's quite humbling, really. On the face of things, this is a game about a hot little baker girl (or boy, or... grandpa?) dashing around to fill orders for cakes. Dig a little deeper, though, and it's a demanding time management sim that just doesn't quit.
honestgamer's avatar
Safecracker: The Ultimate Puzzle Adventure (Wii)

Safecracker: The Ultimate Puzzle Adventure review (WII)

Reviewed on January 18, 2009

Most of the time you play, you'll probably be thinking that you must have missed something. Sometimes the hero will muse about a possible solution and point you in the right direction, but typically that only happens once you've finally figured it out for yourself. Even then, he doesn't always have anything worthwhile to say. Suggesting that a safe looks like cipher puzzles from the Civil War is all well and good, but what if you have no idea what that even means? The game simply demands too much of the casual gamer that it is likely to attract.
honestgamer's avatar
Hokuto no Ken (PlayStation 2)

Hokuto no Ken review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 18, 2009

What Hokuto no Ken lacks in balance, it attempts to compensate for in flash. Huge Engrish proclamations such as "THE BATTLE OF DESTINY" and "THANX FOR YOUR PLAYING!" adorn the screen, blows connect with explosive impact, and animations are elaborate and unusual; one character pulls oil drums from the background, sets them on the ground, and ignites them with shotgun blasts.
zigfried's avatar
Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf (Wii)

Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf review (WII)

Reviewed on January 18, 2009

Compared the rest of its Wii budget label brethren, Crazy Mini Golf is by far the favoured game, but it’s a little like saying testicular is your favourite form of cancer.
EmP's avatar
Castlevania: Judgment (Wii)

Castlevania: Judgment review (WII)

Reviewed on January 15, 2009

Why would someone bother mastering the art of knocking someone into the air, canceling out of a ground-based combo to follow-up with an air attack and then come down with a crushing to finish things off when just waving the Wii Remote around in circles while holding the 'B' button proves equally effective? This game was made for old-fashioned button mashers.
honestgamer's avatar
EverQuest II: The Shadow Odyssey (PC)

EverQuest II: The Shadow Odyssey review (PC)

Reviewed on January 14, 2009

EverQuest II has fought hard to redeem itself from the hollow shell it once was, and it’s made this possible by dumping uncountable options right into the lap of the player. Returning players will find an extension of worth and new players have found a great tie to jump in.
EmP's avatar
Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi (DS)

Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi review (DS)

Reviewed on January 14, 2009

That, unfortunately, is where Rise of the Fungi’s problems begin. Most significantly, the level designs just don’t work. One could argue that they feature the same amount of platforms and climbable objects as any other game in the genre, but what stands out here is their inability to make things clear. There’s a map displayed on the top screen – or the bottom screen, it loves to flip-flop – but that doesn’t help when a gap is hard to view, when a platform is unusually hard to reach, or when the required task feels impossible to complete due to a technical flaw that only luck can overcome.
louis_bedigian's avatar
Kung Fu Panda (Xbox 360)

Kung Fu Panda review (X360)

Reviewed on January 14, 2009

As one of those older gamers, the main thing I enjoyed about this game was its level design. While the stages were all fairly short and very linear, there was a lot of variety. In one level, I was scaling a mountain while not only fighting off constant attacks by a gang of gorillas, but also dodging a non-stop barrage of rocks being flung towards me by their commander. A little bit later, I found myself having to prevent hordes of wolves from destroying all the relics in the abode of the Furious Five.
overdrive's avatar
Final Fantasy IV (DS)

Final Fantasy IV review (DS)

Reviewed on January 13, 2009

Final Fantasy IV DS is not a new game, nor does it pretend to be original. As with many of Square Enix's re-releases of older titles, it is aimed primarily at the nostalgia factor for those of us who were old enough to play it the first time around (and, were it human, Final Fantasy IV will be old enough to vote next year.) However, even if you didn't play it as a wee small thing back when it was on the Super Nintendo and it was called Final Fantasy II, there's still plenty here for you if you like challenging gameplay and well-executed stories.
lassarina's avatar
Big Bang Mini (DS)

Big Bang Mini review (DS)

Reviewed on January 13, 2009

I’ve learnt to destroy heat-seeking cod skeletons with fireworks. Now excuse me while I save the world.
EmP's avatar
Lumines Supernova (PlayStation 3)

Lumines Supernova review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 09, 2009

Each stage is played in a series of “skins.” These skins make up a background and a musical track. Every time you do anything, whether it be moving a block or erasing a stack, the music reacts. the background pulses and shifts. As you stay alive, the skin changes, so that playing the game becomes less an attempt to get lots of points and more an attempt to stay alive to see as many interesting skins as possible.
zippdementia's avatar
Valkyria Chronicles (PlayStation 3)

Valkyria Chronicles review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 08, 2009

Valkyria Chronicles looks like a water color painting in motion. Whoever made this artistic decision is a genius, because watercolors make anything look amazing, whether it be a stream or a pile of rocks, and here you’re seeing whole countrysides and full out warfare. The baleful music and the beautiful art blend together to create a nostalgic feel that leaves you coming back for the same broken mechanics and repetitious dialogue.
zippdementia's avatar
Meteos Wars (Xbox 360)

Meteos Wars review (X360)

Reviewed on January 08, 2009

When I first started playing this game, I felt like I was being dropped into the fastest level of Tetris with no warning. While I now feel I've gotten the hang of things, it still moves fast enough to demand all my concentration in order to top my computer opponent. While each contest only lasts three minutes, that time seems an eternity as I frantically try to keep from being overwhelmed by the blocks quickly filling my side of the screen, while attempting to craft large enough combos to put the computer in a world of hurt.
overdrive's avatar
Final Fight Guy (SNES)

Final Fight Guy review (SNES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2009

What the player actually gets is the exact same game as the original SNES version with one difference — Cody is gone and replaced with Guy. Yep, that’s it. The fourth level doesn't find its way back into the game and there still is no two-player mode. But, uh, you do get to play with Guy and that has to amount to something, right?
overdrive's avatar
TrackMania DS (DS)

TrackMania DS review (DS)

Reviewed on January 05, 2009

The sulky shot soon turned into a toast. I have no idea how the Scots at Firebrand have managed it, but Trackmania DS is a triumph. I can’t help feel this may have been to spite me.
EmP's avatar
The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga (PlayStation 2)

The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

You could, in fact, buy the entire compilation for ‘98 alone, and not a single person would blame you. But included is five years of iconic team battling all held together by an over-branching plot that would do numerous RPGs proud, the trip back in time is indeed appreciated.
EmP's avatar
Perfect Dark Zero (Xbox 360)

Perfect Dark Zero review (X360)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

Co-op modes commonly up the enemy count with the inclusion of a second player, and as well they should. Taking a friend in tow demands more targets to aim at, and Zero obligates. It obliges in the form of crippling overkill.
EmP's avatar
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl (PC)

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl review (PC)

Reviewed on December 31, 2008

Stalker is so far removed from the relentless fright-a-minute conventions of the genre that it somehow works on a much higher level than any of its competitors. A staggering majority of Stalker takes place in wide, open and relatively calm outdoor expanses. But the atmosphere never lets up; it only shifts from mood to mood. It's unsettling for different reasons, and on the occasions where it throws the real chills at you, the effect is mind-blowing.
Lewis's avatar

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