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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Mount & Blade (PC)

Mount & Blade review (PC)

Reviewed on March 06, 2009

Really, it's just a matter of what you want. Anyone with the right mindset and a pinch of imagination can get swept away in the world of Mount and Blade, and create something that is unique and epic to them. That one aspect, in spite of any of its faults, kept me playing for hours. If you like having your hand held, and being given direction and taken through a story, then the game's not for you.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber (PC)

Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber review (PC)

Reviewed on March 05, 2009

The moral of Water Closet must be: even if it seems repulsive at first, pissing and pooping in public is fun. Personally, I prefer to be regarded with reverence and admiration instead of shame and repulsion. That probably means I'm not in the game's target audience. Would you care to play?
zigfried's avatar
Ceville (PC)

Ceville review (PC)

Reviewed on March 05, 2009

Despite its good intentions, Ceville is so mediocre that I'm struggling to know what to say about it. It's easy to enthuse about brilliance in games, or relentlessly rant about awful bits. Ceville has no significant examples of either. Despite its good intentions, it's unremarkable; despite its problems, it's rather playable. It sits firmly in the middle of the gaming spectrum, a title that's likely to annoy few but resonate with fewer.
Lewis's avatar
F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (Xbox 360)

F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin review (X360)

Reviewed on March 05, 2009

Refined, often impressive, yet ultimately empty, there's simply none of Monolith's renowned creativity on display here. Producing a more polished version of your four-year-old near-masterpiece doesn't quite cut it, in a world where the genre is rapidly maturing and evolving into a new beast altogether.
Lewis's avatar
Secret Wives' Club (PC)

Secret Wives' Club review (PC)

Reviewed on March 05, 2009

Now instead of simply clicking through a bunch of text and making the occasional decision, you're asked to make choices from a menu. The three women you hope to "educate" are each assigned columns. Your goal is to please all three of the horny vixens. Each has numerous scenes from which to choose, all divided into categories for your convenience. Mostly, these relate to the state of the relationship and predict how things are about to go so that you can decide where to budget your time.
honestgamer's avatar
TrackMania DS (DS)

TrackMania DS review (DS)

Reviewed on March 05, 2009

The DS version doesn’t do a very good job at selling itself. More on that later, though, because while at first I suspected that Trackmania was going to be collecting dust on my shelf alongside Trace Memory and Lost in Blue, I have found myself playing it every night without fail.
zippdementia's avatar
Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon (DS)

Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon review (DS)

Reviewed on March 04, 2009

Spend a few hours with any Fire Emblem game and you’ll see why the series is revered in the world of turn-based strategy games: Its emphasis on the immediate and long-term effects of death is brilliant. The knowledge that each downed soldier is down for good makes you more considerate of individual lives. Being more considerate, in turn, makes you more cautious, less reckless. You come out of a Fire Emblem game a better player than you were when you entered.
Suskie's avatar
Prinny: Can I Really Be the Hero? (PSP)

Prinny: Can I Really Be the Hero? review (PSP)

Reviewed on March 01, 2009

Rather than working to avoid such situations, the developers do their best to replicate them numerous times throughout each zone. Stages seem to have been built specifically to trick you into making mistakes. You'll find moving platforms that look like they should require a double jump, only to to realize too late that they actually don't. Or you'll leap across a wide gap only to immediately run into a wall of waiting projectiles that you couldn't possibly have anticipated. Fireballs often come out of nowhere. Enemies materialize from thin air. Monsters float down from above when you had no idea they were even there. Too much of the experience comes down to tedious trial and error.
honestgamer's avatar
Flower (PlayStation 3)

Flower review (PS3)

Reviewed on March 01, 2009

The whole thing comes off as an interactive Fantasia: a beautiful and poignant blend of sound and movement that tells an active story.
zippdementia's avatar
Street Fighter IV (PlayStation 3)

Street Fighter IV review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 27, 2009

Though I didn't find a convenient way to determine a competitor's skill level until after he beats me—or loses—that didn't actually work out too badly. I'm someone who likes to get right into another round of fighting, anyway, and the current system makes that easy to do. Besides that, lag is minimal. I've played quite a few matches and only once did I find things lagging. Really, the only complaint I have with online is the obvious one: scrubs. I don't mind that people almost always fight using Ryu, Ken or Sagat (I like some of those guys myself), but some players try to play mind games.
honestgamer's avatar
Deadly Creatures (Wii)

Deadly Creatures review (WII)

Reviewed on February 27, 2009

Similar to Super Mario Galaxy, Deadly Creatures will take you through each desert environment in ways you never imagined. Walls are so easily traversed that you may begin to lose track of your surroundings. This illusion is broken – beautifully and sometimes hauntingly – when fighting an opponent that suddenly loses his grip and falls off what appeared to be solid ground.
louis_bedigian's avatar
X-Blades (PlayStation 3)

X-Blades review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 27, 2009

Ayumi has to be somebody's wet dream. The press releases talk-up the sexy art style, and emphasize how both action and anime fans will slobber over her figure and fighting moves. And no doubt, some people will be drawn to her brash attitude. But the girl can only take the game so far, and she's been outfitted in a stagnant ensemble.
woodhouse's avatar
Leather Goddesses of Phobos (Apple II)

Leather Goddesses of Phobos review (APP2)

Reviewed on February 25, 2009

While "Tame" doesn't allow even remotely suggestive language, in "Lewd", anything goes. Sexual encounters are spelled out and dirty language is recognized by the computer. Obviously, that was the only mode I ever played, although, upon further review, the sex scenes aren't any more titillating than those in the average romance novel read by bored housewives looking for any sort of release from day-to-day life with their unemployed husband who just drank himself to sleep in front of the television yet again.
overdrive's avatar
The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga (Wii)

The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (WII)

Reviewed on February 23, 2009

...all of the games are emulated wonderfully - without any sound problems that sometimes plague compilation discs.
jpeeples's avatar
Spelunky [Freeware] (PC)

Spelunky [Freeware] review (PC)

Reviewed on February 22, 2009

Challenging, addictive, thoughtful and beautiful, Spelunky is a stream of constant delight. The icing on the cake is that it's free, and a mere 8mb download from the link over on the right. There are no excuses not to play this. You have been warned.
Lewis's avatar
Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek (Wii)

Nancy Drew: The White Wolf of Icicle Creek review (WII)

Reviewed on February 20, 2009

Nancy Drew has too much time on her hands; she's ready to take on any mystery at a moment's notice. Thanks to extra duties in this investigation, though, time isn't on her side. She has to collect laundry by noon and produce three square meals a day. If she neglects these deadlines in favor of solving puzzles, Nancy gets the boot.
woodhouse's avatar
Ar Tonelico II: Melody of Metafalica (PlayStation 2)

Ar Tonelico II: Melody of Metafalica review (PS2)

Reviewed on February 20, 2009

Ar Tonelico 2 took me by surprise. It feels weird to say that given that I played the first one, and I can't really say that the two are all that different. Gust is infamous for making the same game repeatedly but somehow, it just gets better every time. What I expected was a quick cash in, a little game that was thrown out there to make a buck and then fade away. I was right in some ways, but the word 'little' doesn't belong anywhere near a description of this game.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Penumbra: Overture (PC)

Penumbra: Overture review (PC)

Reviewed on February 20, 2009

Overture is a slightly uncomfortable amalgamation of half-finished ideas, but, when it's at its best, it's surprisingly brilliant. If it were a little more inventive beyond its physics engine, and a little less clunky in its mechanics, we could be dealing with an indie classic. As it stands, it's merely an engaging and impressively frightening way to pass an uneventful afternoon.
Lewis's avatar
Afro Samurai (PlayStation 3)

Afro Samurai review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 20, 2009

It [Afro Samurai] may not be the masterpiece it could or even should be, but it's still one of the better games of its kind to come along in awhile.
MrDurandPierre's avatar
X-Com: UFO Defense (PlayStation)

X-Com: UFO Defense review (PSX)

Reviewed on February 19, 2009

X-Com gives you quite the daunting task to undertake in saving the entire world from invasion. But despite the many challenges it presents, playing it is an enormously rewarding experience that, even in this day and age, has yet to be truly replicated.
EmP's avatar

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