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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
The Punisher (Arcade)

The Punisher review (ARC)

Reviewed on September 30, 2010

Spawned from the calamity came The Punisher, forever replacing our blue-collar "everyday hero" with a hell-bent, vengeance-seeking vigilante. This antihero is not out fighting for the common good; he's fighting against the vile criminals that took away his family, utilizing any means necessary to do so. Should a few distressed damsels be rescued and precious ecosystems be saved in the process, then that's okay too. It's just not the primary concern here; igniting gun-toting gangsters with a flamethrower before hurling a steel harpoon through their abdomens is of greater importance to this man. Even the costume reeks of bad attitude: a dark blue spandex suit, skull design across the chest clinging to his ripped brawny frame, massive calf muscles bulging out of white leather boots. This man isn't a superhero at all -- he's just one hundred percent badass.
Leroux's avatar
Halo: Reach (Xbox 360)

Halo: Reach review (X360)

Reviewed on September 29, 2010

There’s success to be found in Reach but the conclusion is forever fated to be bitter-sweet. It’s your role to watch the planet you set out to defend burn, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is try to make sure that before the cities are crushed and the surface turned to glass, that the invading army knows fear the way you do. And if that’s not enough, that they also know that a 5.52mm bullet to the head is universally fatal independent of race.
EmP's avatar
Edward Randy (Arcade)

Edward Randy review (ARC)

Reviewed on September 29, 2010

It is Jackson Pollock, wildly throwing colors against canvas and seeing what sticks. “He should fight a bulldozer.” “He should fight TWO tanks.” “These mutants need more body armor!” No outlandish idea was held back; creative expression trumped programming limitations and established good-gaming practices. “Let’s make him swing from the underside of ledges.” “Let’s make the plane he’s fighting atop do barrel rolls.” “Is there any way we can add more fire?" The flood of absurd ideas springing from Data East’s designers – yes, the folks behind Bad Dudes, of all people, are behind this inspired brainstorming – had nothing to do with what they technically could achieve, but simply what they wished they could do.
Leroux's avatar
Final Fight (Arcade)

Final Fight review (ARC)

Reviewed on September 28, 2010

Take from it whatever preposterous character, whatever outrageous scene, whatever moment of sheer stereotypical brilliance you want. Pick a stray hammer up off the street to boost your high score! Partake in the greatest mini game ever: BREAK CAR!, where you attempt to obliterate a gang member’s wheels with a steel pipe within a thirty second time limit. Fight a never-ending onslaught of unforgettable attackers for the most just and noble of causes: the life of a pretty young girl, the livelihood of a city overrun by criminal influence. Witness the title that directly spawned The Punisher, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs and the rest of the beat ‘em up revolution of the early nineties. Relish your gritty, unadulterated manhood.
Leroux's avatar
Altered Beast (Arcade)

Altered Beast review (ARC)

Reviewed on September 27, 2010

Not only that, it succeeded: whereas the “technically brilliant” titles of yesteryear now wallow in their “good for their time” dubiety, Altered Beast remains the same guilty pleasure it always has. Undoubtedly, I think it was its vision all along to become the cheesy cult-classic of the video game world, to be so exuberantly, intriguingly ridiculous it would never be forgotten. Keep laughing at the thought, the absurd notion its lambasted legacy has only helped it become what it is. It’s Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It won.
Leroux's avatar
64th Street: A Detective Story (Arcade)

64th Street: A Detective Story review (ARC)

Reviewed on September 26, 2010

Meet private investigator Rick and his partner Allen, two rough-and-tumble sleuths who defiantly unsubscribe from the traditional detective stereotype. Look no further than their appearance: the mustachioed Rick rocks a violet dress shirt, dandelion tie and burnt orange trousers, while the much younger Allen prefers more discreet attire, accentuating his white tank top and blue denim jeans with a stylish maroon vest. This pairing doesn’t exactly conduct investigations by combing over crime scenes with a magnifying glass either. Instead they take it to the mean streets and start cracking skulls in hopes, sooner or later, someone will finger their man.
Leroux's avatar
Resident Evil (PlayStation)

Resident Evil review (PSX)

Reviewed on September 25, 2010

Resident Evil deserves its recognition for what it accomplishes and what it brought to the table, but that doesn’t mean what it does wrong should get a get-out-of-jail-free card.
EmP's avatar
Sports Champions (PlayStation 3)

Sports Champions review (PS3)

Reviewed on September 22, 2010

It’s a title made up of little-known yet completely enthralling games that were put together extremely well, their mechanics scrutinized and the focused placed almost entirely on gameplay. If it were to be judged simply as a game, Sports Champions would rank incredibly high…
True's avatar
Super Darius II (Turbografx-CD)

Super Darius II review (TGCD)

Reviewed on September 20, 2010

zigfried's avatar
Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City (DS)

Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City review (DS)

Reviewed on September 19, 2010

As you venture through the unknown environments, you'll find points where it's possible to harvest, mine or just snatch up items that you can take back with you to town and possibly turn into new armor and weapons at the local city's single shop. So there's that element prodding you to actually explore (instead of simply walking circles in close proximity to a staircase) and there's the realization that at some point, you're going to have to actually plot your way into the darkness or you'll never find the next staircase and the next boss. The likelihood that said boss will summarily demolish you upon contact is really beside the point.
honestgamer's avatar
Zombie Estate (Xbox 360)

Zombie Estate review (X360)

Reviewed on September 18, 2010

B>Zombie Estate is sadistic. It’s pure, overwhelming numbers that know they boarder on cheapness, then double up out of spite, and you’ll love them for it. I’d like to start out by saying ‘things start off slowly’ out of a misguided sense of cliché, but I’d be lying. Things start out manageably. At this point, you’ll only have your basic pistol weapon, and you can finish the hordes off with a small sense of comfort if you find yourself proficient at dual-stick shooters.
EmP's avatar
Puzzle Bots (PC)

Puzzle Bots review (PC)

Reviewed on September 18, 2010

wolfqueen001's avatar
Top Gun (PlayStation 3)

Top Gun review (PS3)

Reviewed on September 11, 2010

It would be completely fair to suggest that there are worse flight sims available than the newest reiteration of Top Gun, but it would be foolish not to then consider just how many are better.
EmP's avatar
Broken Sword: Director's Cut (PC)

Broken Sword: Director's Cut review (PC)

Reviewed on September 09, 2010

It’s almost like Revolution have silently admitted the world is getting dumber, and wanted to baby a new generation along whilst they used to be content with challenging them.
EmP's avatar
Cho Aniki (Turbografx-CD)

Cho Aniki review (TGCD)

Reviewed on September 08, 2010

Ever since composer Koji Hayama played the drums for classmates at a school festival, his dream was to "be famous". Cho Aniki's serendipitous success made his dream come true. When the Japanese speak of culturally significant videogames, they speak of Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, and Cho Aniki.
zigfried's avatar
Virtua Fighter CG Portrait Series Vol. 3: Akira Yuki (Saturn)

Virtua Fighter CG Portrait Series Vol. 3: Akira Yuki review (SAT)

Reviewed on September 06, 2010

Virtua Fighter CG Portrait Series Vol. 3 is a tale about one warrior versus mother nature. A non-interactive, grainy tale that’s over in five minutes. Pity poor Akira’s plight, but don’t line the pockets of those who wish to profit from it with shoddy Saturn imports!
EmP's avatar
Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days (Xbox 360)

Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days review (X360)

Reviewed on September 05, 2010

Bullets rarely feel as if they’re making proper contact, and aiming serves little purpose other than to give the illusion of accuracy. In an attempt to make the game seem a little more realistic, weapons have been “handicapped,” if you will, to maintain the illusion that these are still two men on the run, testosterone and adrenaline fueling their every move. It doesn’t work, and as a result the game feels artificially lengthened by frustrating firefights and enemies who take more punishment than your controller while playing this game.
MolotovCupcake's avatar
Sam & Max: The City That Dares Not Sleep (PC)

Sam & Max: The City That Dares Not Sleep review (PC)

Reviewed on September 04, 2010

Season Three follows this trend by not only being a more adventuresome series of bite-sized quests than those that precede it, but by spit-roasting the results over a curiously potent combination of insanity, Twilight Zone-esque noir and a healthy foundation of self deprecation.
EmP's avatar
Download 2 (Turbografx-CD)

Download 2 review (TGCD)

Reviewed on September 02, 2010

"Cyberpunk isn’t just a genre -- it’s a mindset. It’s a mindset that knows it’s beneath the thumb of corporate greed, but tries to dig itself out anyway. It’s a mindset that sneers at the shallow mainstreamers who swallow the recycled maxims of pseudo-intellectualism."
zigfried's avatar
Halo 3: ODST (Xbox 360)

Halo 3: ODST review (X360)

Reviewed on August 31, 2010

It’s an adventuresome idea, but not one that works completely. ODST is, before anything else, largely competent and achieves most of what it sets out to do. The Halo lore is still very much intact, but the insertion of a new protagonist gives the game a new sheen: one of vulnerability.
EmP's avatar

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