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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360)

Mass Effect 2 review (X360)

Reviewed on February 24, 2011

If Iím struggling to record my thoughts on Mass Effect 2 itís because it excels on so many fronts and does so many things right that itís hard to settle on just one thing. So Iíll ramble in a word document instead, talk about a few things that caught in my mind and then reveal that Iíve hardly scratched the surface.
EmP's avatar
Canabalt (PC)

Canabalt review (PC)

Reviewed on February 23, 2011

I view people who subscribe to the holy book of Canabalt the same way that Orson Scott Card intended readers to view Xenocide's Qing-Jao: as obsessive and deranged failures, compulsively tracing lines in wood until they realize they've accomplished nothing. Then they die.
zigfried's avatar
Antipole (Xbox 360)

Antipole review (X360)

Reviewed on February 22, 2011

The gimmick is simple. Go to the right and win. You can jump, you can shoot, and you can invert gravity within a certain radius of the character. And that's it. There's no plot or villain, just you, a plasma rifle, and a hellish maze of circular saws, moving platforms, and angry robots.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Xbox 360)

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night review (X360)

Reviewed on February 10, 2011

On the other hand, the Reverse Castle possesses the Crissaegrim. This sword, only obtainable as a dropped item by a particular monster (one so weak, you'd never expect it to hold something so godly) is one of my all-time guilty pleasures in gaming. In an instant, Alucard goes from a mere overpowered protagonist to a deity of unholy destruction, flinging waves of agony in front of him with every tap of the attack button. Even the fearsome Guardian suits of armor will fall in no time, while many bosses can be obliterated before they even seem to be fully aware an intruder is in their lair. Few things in gaming can provide the sort of savage, sadistic joy this sword does.
overdrive's avatar
The Ball (PC)

The Ball review (PC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2011

I remember back when all you could really do with mods was a cosmetic altering of the foundations you built upon. Hell, you still couldnít even look up for a good number of years later. The Ball is clearly not of that age; itís less a reworking of old ground, but a brand new world built upon them. It has its own perks, its own flaws but it remains very much its own game.
EmP's avatar
LittleBigPlanet 2 (PlayStation 3)

LittleBigPlanet 2 review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 02, 2011

Todayís play session lasted several hours, but I could have just as easily have devoted weeks to the same endeavor. There are literally thousands of options left for me to explore. Iím not sure that I would have believed just how much there is to the LittleBigPlanet 2 community if I hadnít had the chance to experience it for myself. The people at Media Molecule and Sony have the right to be proud of what they have accomplished, and so do the creative gamers who have become a part of it.
honestgamer's avatar
Crimecraft: Bleedout (PC)

Crimecraft: Bleedout review (PC)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

It has the chance to stand out from the crowd, to not be just another also-ran, but it would be unfair to say itís there right now. Should it continue down this path, its future looks promising.
EmP's avatar
Cthulhu Saves the World (Xbox 360)

Cthulhu Saves the World review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

Thus begins the Old Oneís quest for backwards redemption -- defeating some evil so he can unleash a greater evil. Sulking along the sandy beach he arrived at, he rescues his first party member, a star-struck water-based healer who incorrectly paints Cthulhu as her rescuing knight, and stomps off to his first village where he undertakes such heroic tasks as Saving A Boyís Dog From A Cave.
EmP's avatar
ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX (Xbox 360)

ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX review (X360)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

You could choose to mow them down with machine pistols or shotguns. With rocket launchers, plasma cannons or flare guns. With flamethrowers, assault rifles, proxy mines, grenade launchers or samurai swords. Railguns, icebeams, mini-nukes, souped-up pistols, golden guns or just a plain old kick to the head.
EmP's avatar
Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop (Lynx)

Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
Leroux's avatar
Xenon 2: Megablast (Genesis)

Xenon 2: Megablast review (GEN)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

I respect Xenon 2 for the envelopes it pushed, but this doesnít qualify it for a free pass; it doesnít excuse its mistakes. Remember its innovations fondly, if you like, just donít revisit them. Thereís no reason to; no reward for your efforts. Just one final note from Bitmap Brothers saying ďBy the way? We know you cheated to get this far, and we hate you.Ē
EmP's avatar
Kung Food (Lynx)

Kung Food review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 21, 2011

Kung Food is recommended if your only system is the Atari Lynx.
Leroux's avatar
Medal of Honor (PlayStation 3)

Medal of Honor review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 14, 2011

Medal of Honor can barely claim to being more than half a game, the half it does right, it excels. The other half isnít bad for a first attempt -- but thatís not really good enough, is it?
EmP's avatar
101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix (Wii)

101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix review (WII)

Reviewed on January 11, 2011

Iím simply going to present the facts. Nothing here works. Even with its budget title status, itís not worth the price of admission.
EmP's avatar
Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360)

Red Dead Redemption review (X360)

Reviewed on January 08, 2011

Youíll want to squeeze every second of life from Red Dead Redemption. Youíll do this because you know that, sooner or later, the game will end and youíll no longer be a part of its world. YouĎll want to elongate your stay. And John Marston will let you, because there might be someone out there somewhere he hasnít shot at yet.
EmP's avatar
Kirby's Adventure (NES)

Kirby's Adventure review (NES)

Reviewed on January 08, 2011

Kirby's Adventure is innocence; a reminder of a youth full of optimism and dreams where even the thought of pitfalls seemed incomprehensible. When life gets me down, it offers solace as its bright colors, wildly varying levels and unrelenting cuteness overwhelm me until I have no choice but to smile and lose myself in the game. Even after all these years, it still has that effect ó something that makes me grateful.
overdrive's avatar
Astonishia Story (PSP)

Astonishia Story review (PSP)

Reviewed on January 01, 2011

I canít help but think of Astonisha Story bravely treading water. It was never in its nature to be spectacular, but it could have settled with quietly competent had Ubisoft thrown it a life preserver rather than hurled rocks from the shore.
EmP's avatar
Pocket Pool (PSP)

Pocket Pool review (PSP)

Reviewed on December 30, 2010

HyperDevbox Japan surely set out to do something different, by giving us Ďerotic pool.í The word on the street is that publishers Conspiracy and Eidos sought to use the Girls Gone Wild license and do something really distinct, but talks fell through. As such, weíre stuck with a random collection of stills and short video clips of nude models and outright porn stars as our erotic content.
Masters's avatar
Gunstar Heroes (PlayStation 3)

Gunstar Heroes review (PS3)

Reviewed on December 21, 2010

Your mission is straightforward enough: As one of the two Heroes ó twin brother Red or Blue ó you must foil the nefarious Colonel Red (the doppelganger of Street Fighter IIís M. Bison) who has stolen the four Mystic Gems in an plot to unleash the all-powerful Golden Silver ó and youíll want to release your brainwashed older brother Green and rescue hopeless ally Yellow along the way.
Masters's avatar
Resident Evil: Survivor (PlayStation)

Resident Evil: Survivor review (PSX)

Reviewed on December 21, 2010

Weíve been able to rely on Resident Evil games for certain ingredients that bespeak their quality: amazing polygonal graphics, cheesy cinematic cut scenes, and their ability to spook the player. Survivor only gets the cheese right. This game looks horrid, but fails to provide the horror.
Masters's avatar

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