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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Pitfall! (Atari 2600)

Pitfall! review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 30, 2011

Most screens have some combination of hazards for you to contend with: perhaps you'll have to swing across water on a vine while making sure you don't land on a barrel. Or that pond might contain a trio of alligators. You'll have to jump from one head to the next, making sure you're not on their mouth when it opens. Some ponds and quicksand pits are, I guess, magical and will appear and disappear. When they vanish, you can run across the screen safely, but if they return and you're in their part of the screen, you die.
overdrive's avatar
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PlayStation 3)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 28, 2011

For a game thatís designed to promote a movie, Dark of the Moon will probably encourage you to skip it entirely.
disco's avatar
Dodge 'Em (Atari 2600)

Dodge 'Em review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 28, 2011

The cover art was of a stylishly-dressed couple in an old-timey car swerving wildly in that final moment before their agonizing, fiery demise. If you didn't clench the controls intent on going balls to the wall the instant the game started, this would happen to you, but with far more primitive visuals.
overdrive's avatar
F.3.A.R. (PC)

F.3.A.R. review (PC)

Reviewed on June 26, 2011

This means combat becomes an often entertaining game of cat-and-mouse. Itís bad news if you stay behind the same piece of cover for too long, as FEAR 3ís goons are more intelligent than that. Theyíll lob in a grenade, or send someone to draw you out from behind. All the while, their defensive strategy is much the same as your own: hide, shoot, move, repeat. When youíre down to the last couple of enemies in a larger area, gunfights can end up drawn out for minutes, as you battle frantically for supremacy over the gameís AI.
Lewis's avatar
Desert Falcon (Atari 7800)

Desert Falcon review (Atari 7800)

Reviewed on June 24, 2011

After playing this game for a few hours, I discovered that my favorite power-up was the one that warped me straight to the boss, so I could kill it and move to the next level in the hopes of finding the proper three glyphs to do it again. You get FAR more points for wasting them than for doing anything else and Desert Falcon is a rather repetitive game, where one level blends into the next with no real difference besides the density of enemy waves and the background color.
overdrive's avatar
Dungeon Siege III (Xbox 360)

Dungeon Siege III review (X360)

Reviewed on June 23, 2011

Despite some subquests and optional grinding, itís mostly a long winding trip down an inevitable path, and often times back along the inevitable path. Expect to do a lot of walking. This is a hallmark of the Dungeon Siege series, so it should be no surprise that it hasnít changed. But developer Obsidian has tried to infuse it with a choice-and-consequence system. In theory, this seems like a great idea. But in practice, itís the difference between an attack rating of 142 and an attack rating of 145. Was it worth reading through all that dialogue?
tomchick's avatar
Bump 'N Jump (Atari 2600)

Bump 'N Jump review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 22, 2011

Maybe a particular body of water is too long to clear in just one jump, so you'll have to time things in order to hit an island in the middle of the lake and immediately jump again to clear the rest of it. Or maybe two small ponds will be close together. If you jump at full speed, you'll easily clear the first one...and then helplessly watch as you said over the strip of land between them, only to crash into the second inches from clearing it.
overdrive's avatar
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS)

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D review (3DS)

Reviewed on June 19, 2011

When I started playing the actual game, though, my perspective changed almost immediately. Linkís prophetic nightmare, the shivering elven boy on the straw mattress, the dying monarch of the forest summoning a fairy and the awkward bump against the fence that looks too much like an open waffle iron all unfolded almost exactly the way I remembered them from previous trips through the game, but I realized with surprise that something unexpected was taking place: I was loving each moment again.
honestgamer's avatar
Duke Nukem Forever (PC)

Duke Nukem Forever review (PC)

Reviewed on June 16, 2011

The inspiration is, of course, the venerable Duke Nukem 3D, a groundbreaking over-the-top comedy shooter that had actual gameplay when it came out 15 years ago. But in Duke Nukem Forever, it's tough to use the word "inspiration". When you come across a nod to the original game, it feels like it was chucked in carelessly. Here's a trip mine. Here's a holoduke. Here's a pigcop. Here's something like a boss fight. Here's a gun that shoots blue lasers. Here's a stripper.
tomchick's avatar
inFAMOUS 2 (PlayStation 3)

inFAMOUS 2 review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 13, 2011

Have you ever had to take a road trip with people you can't stand? Early on, a couple of characters introduce the story and the gameplay progression by giving each other glowing doo-dads. Literally. Here's a glowing doo-dad for you. And here's one for you. That's an indication of the level of coherence and dramatic tension that will drive Infamous 2. And it just goes downhill, with sidekick Zeke as pointless as ever, a toughened Cole now gravelly voice like a Martin Sheen who won't take any guff, and the heavy-handed morality choices based on whether you prefer Nixx, the fiery-tempered black voodoo chick, or Kuo, the mopey Asian CIA agent turned ice mage.
tomchick's avatar
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PlayStation 2)

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 08, 2011

Mr. Exposition gives you the details of the plot, which basically comes down to Walter being a bit bored with eternal life, so for amusement, he kidnaps the loved ones of potential worthy opponents in order to engage in combat with the vengeful fighters. The old man lost his daughter to the vampire, but not his life or humanity. No, he's kept around to serve as a general store, so desperate to avenge his loss that he'll charge an arm and a leg for life-restoring potions and armor. A true humanitarian, this guy.
overdrive's avatar
Great Baseball (Sega Master System)

Great Baseball review (SMS)

Reviewed on June 03, 2011

Didnít Sega ask itself that most obvious question that begs answering even now? What if the baseball game we make for our beloved Master System isnít great? What then? Wonít we look like fools? What then? Will we fold? Most likely someone did ask that question, but was promptly fired and replaced by someone elseís son, and the so-so game that is Great Baseball was released anyway.
Masters's avatar
Frozen Synapse (PC)

Frozen Synapse review (PC)

Reviewed on June 03, 2011

Generally speaking, multiplayer matches consist of a few minutes of head-scratching, a bit of experimentation, a final check, a click of the ĎPrimeí button, and an edge-of-seat wait for your opponent to submit his or her next turn. Itís often sensible to go and get on with something else while the time ticks away, but itís difficult to do so when youíre so invested.
Lewis's avatar
Thor: God of Thunder (PlayStation 3)

Thor: God of Thunder review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 01, 2011

You wonít have to play Thor much at all to see that the title is inspired by the highly successful God of War series. Kratos, the bald-headed warrior from that other series, has simply been replaced here by the blond-haired and impetuous Thor. Instead of wielding a whip, he swings a hammer around like a swordÖ when heís not grabbing monsters three or four times his size and wrestling them to the ground by the horns. This is a ďTĒ-rated game, though, so there are no severed heads or geysers of blood and there are no naked women in mini-games or elsewhere. Thor may be a god, but he lives in a bland world.
honestgamer's avatar
Virtua Tennis 4 (Xbox 360)

Virtua Tennis 4 review (X360)

Reviewed on May 31, 2011

Itís no easy task to follow up a perfect original game with sequel after sequel. Virtua Tennis will always be Virtua Tennis, no matter how you package it. In other words, Virtua Tennis will always be a joy to play.
dnielson's avatar
The Incredibles (Xbox)

The Incredibles review (XBX)

Reviewed on May 30, 2011

The story of Bob Parr and his gifted family of superheroes (wife, Mrs. Incredible; children, Violet and Dash) is told inexcusably poorly. When you finish the adventure, you still wonít know what the movie is about.
Masters's avatar
B Team - Episode 1: Dust & Steel (DS)

B Team - Episode 1: Dust & Steel review (DS)

Reviewed on May 30, 2011

Hereís the thing; Iíve not played Cannon Fodder since the early nineties, but I still recall the stand out levels, the clever geography and can appreciate the more subtle parodying of the hells of war. In its attempt to revitalise an older way of thinking, all B Team has managed to do is highlight the competence of that it tries to ape and show that it still canít eclipse a game made almost two decades previous.
EmP's avatar
Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale (Xbox 360)

Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale review (X360)

Reviewed on May 26, 2011

Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale has a lot of glitches, very little plot, almost no enemy variety and a sloppy interface that sometimes makes playing the game a chore. The first few hours almost immediately feel tedious, but the game improves from there. Unfortunately, it never really does anything especially memorable.
honestgamer's avatar
Dead or Alive: Dimensions (3DS)

Dead or Alive: Dimensions review (3DS)

Reviewed on May 25, 2011

Environments are expectedly gorgeous and expansive, with cascading waterfalls and rope bridges that span wide chasms. There also are the underground laboratory and ancient rooftop venues, and you can still knock your opponent from high ledges and then follow to kick his or her butt on lower ground. In other words, any concessions that had to be made due to the hardware have minimal impact on the presentationÖ when it comes to fights.
honestgamer's avatar
Naruto Shippuden: Shinobi Rumble (DS)

Naruto Shippuden: Shinobi Rumble review (DS)

Reviewed on May 24, 2011

In practice, Shinobi Rumble doesn't deliver superior single-player combat. The fighting mechanics are technically simple, the computer's strategies are equally unsophisticated, and the story mode is simple shorthand. If you're going at this solo, the game will occupy a few hours and then be forgotten forever.
woodhouse's avatar

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