Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Guitar Hero review (PS2) Reviewed on March 05, 2006 Gene Simmons once sang "God gave rock 'n roll to you", and yay, unto his children the Almighty did deliver. From Jimi Hendrix, to Black Sabbath, and Mega Deth, we've gorged ourselves on the power chord, and snacked on sex and drugs like they were going out of fashion. Unfortunately however, some were more blessed than others, and those that couldn't tell the difference between a fret and a spider were left to admire the party from afar.
	Bonk's Adventure review (TG16) Reviewed on March 02, 2006 I don't often randomly boast about particularly sweet things I pull off in video games, but I have to say I had an ear-to-ear grin after utterly destroying one boss with a perfectly-executed chain of attacks. The poor guy never had a chance, as I hit him with a diving attack, bounced off and repeatedly walloped him until the dude was down for the count. Sorry, Punchy Pedro, I scarcely knew ye.....
	WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2006 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 02, 2006 Wrestling’s not so much a sport as it is a way of life. I respect that. And I respect Smackdown vs. Raw 2006 because it perfectly emulates.
	Drakengard review (PS2) Reviewed on February 27, 2006 But none of them stand a chance, and it's a given that a worse-for-wear Caim will limp into his own courtyard, blood flowing freely from his wounds and dripping onto the barren earth floor. A few more troops await their death here but once they're disposed of, you learn the full extent of their actions. In the middle of the courtyard, peppered with arrows, spears and swords, awaits an imposing sight. Before you lies a dying dragon.
	Dungeon Lords: Collector’s Edition review (PC) Reviewed on February 26, 2006 You’ll almost be glad when the chirping crickets and hooting owls fall silent, replaced by rustling of leaves or the scraping of claws on stone that pre-empt another battle. It’s fun to explore new portions of the map and watch the blank areas fill in as if by magic. There’s a definite sense that adventure could lie beyond each hilltop.
	Do You Like Horny Bunnies? 2 review (PC) Reviewed on February 26, 2006 I should also mention that because Do You Like Horny Bunnies? 2 is a sequel (the ‘2’ in its title should have tipped you off), there’s some fan service. If you played the original, you’ll recognize two of the characters from that game. They engage in a bit of unexpected sex, which you get to watch unfold if you play your cards right.
	Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams review (PS2) Reviewed on February 24, 2006 It's a return to grace for a series in danger of losing itself, and in a way, reaffirms the belief that only Capcom know how to deliver a solid, third person slash'em up. You can have your 3D Castlevanias and your weak as piss American imitations, the real action however, once more belongs to Keiji Inafune and the Genma hordes.
	Shaq-Fu review (SNES) Reviewed on February 22, 2006 If you’ve been playing games and surfing the internet for any considerable length of time, you’ve no doubt come across a review of Shaq Fu that was filled with witty remarks, jabs at Shaq’s bald head, and the unabashed bashing of voodoo (something that Shaq Fu proudly supports) No doubt, said review convinced you that Shaq Fu sucks, complaining about it’s bad storyline and its bad graphics and its bad controls.
	Drakengard 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on February 20, 2006 If Dynasty Warriors wrote the book on manly brawling, then Drakengard 2 filled a library. By game's end, thousands of ogres, undead soldiers, and knights will fall with blood spraying from their broken heads. However! Fans of the first game be warned: you no longer play as an insatiable madman!
	Addams Family Values review (SNES) Reviewed on February 20, 2006 Or you'll become befuddled by your umpteenth encounter with one of Addams Family Values' favorite underworld "puzzles" — the games of "Guess Which Teleporter Won't Move You Back Eight Rooms" and "Randomly Push These Switches Until You Do It Right". This cartridge did a fantastic job of making me feel that it was either dumb luck or trial-and-error that got from one place to the next, as opposed to anything resembling skill or gaming knowledge.
	The Suffering review (PS2) Reviewed on February 19, 2006 In The Suffering, the abominations you encounter are not mazes to find your way past, but obstacles to be destroyed. Like a 1970s grindhouse flick, you’ll find yourself standing amid piles of bodies, blood drenching every scrap of skin and clothing left on your body.
	Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition review (PS2) Reviewed on February 16, 2006 That’s why Special Edition succeeds as a game and as a re-release: It makes things simple without making them easy. Forget the smooth control system or the sweet level design; I’m talking about the accessibility. How the game offers difficulties for all skill levels, tailored for the weakest of the weak and the hardest of the hardcore.
	Monkey Puncher review (GBC) Reviewed on February 16, 2006 Choosing either of the two siblings, Kenta or Sumire, make no difference to the overall aim of the game, which is to raise and train a monkey strong enough to topple the Saru group and freeing your imprisoned family. Handily, you happen to obtain a feisty little monkey by the name of Freddy who may very well be your token to glory, vengeance and the possible triggering of Armageddon.
	Final Fantasy III review (SNES) Reviewed on February 16, 2006 Certainly, you can take that route if you wish. Or… you can slow down and have a good time exploring each of the world’s nooks and crannies. There are even optional monster and towers you can defeat for seriously cool rewards. Much of the game’s second half is optional but cool. You can play however you like, with only a few exceptions. Some choices you make can even affect the game’s plot.
	Call of Duty 2 review (X360) Reviewed on February 13, 2006 Until now, games based on World War Two have dodged a moral bullet thanks to the various limitations of the hardware supporting them. Arguments regarding the representation of mankind's darkest hour as a form of entertainment have covered everything from simple bad taste, to the trivialization of our greatest tragedy, yet the nay-sayers it seems, have been missing the point.
	Legend of Hero Tonma review (TG16) Reviewed on February 12, 2006 It seemed I was challenged virtually every step of the way in the fifth level's cavern and the sixth stage's castle exterior, assaulted by fireball-spewing statues and an infinite number of knights, bats and other baddies on a non-stop basis. For the earlier stages, it seemed like I'd cruise through a few easy waves of enemies, briefly struggle to get through one tricky part and then realize I already was at the boss fight.
	GUN review (X360) Reviewed on February 11, 2006 It's one of those "good but" games. GUN is good, but its Western atmosphere is disappointingly sedate. With yellow ground, brown buildings, and simple textures (why is this on 360?), it's not nearly as visually appealing as Death By Degrees on PS2. The characters are always genuinely likable or appropriately detestable, but they're too often treated as disposables. There's a nice end-game twist, but that end comes too quickly.
	Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects review (XBX) Reviewed on February 07, 2006 3-D comic battles have something that 2-D just can’t touch. Hiding behinds walls and trucks, dodging and running to stay one step ahead. Cars explode, the pavement cracks, the walls crumble and anyone familiar with comics won’t be surprised. After all, when you’re dealing with bruisers like the Ever Lovin’ Blue-Eyed Thing or the Invincible Iron Man, property damage is a given.
	Girlish Grimoire Littlewitch Romanesque review (PC) Reviewed on February 06, 2006 Between schoolroom lessons, you can send the girls out on life-enriching quests or "interact" with special guest tutors to earn fabulous magical prizes. Depending on how you train the girls and on which of the completely optional diplomas you choose to pursue, it's possible to achieve twenty different endings that would make even Princess Maker 2 vets jealous.
	Final Fantasy III review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2006 At times, it seems that regardless of how many characters you have casting healing spells, you won’t be able to keep up with the damage caused by these baddies, especially when they’re whipping out powerhouse spells like Quake, Flare and Meteo on a turn-by-turn basis. If you DON’T kill them quickly, you can rest assured they'll be dining on the seared bones of your heroes that night.

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