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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Thunder Fox (Arcade)

Thunder Fox review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

Rend soldier-types with semi-automatics and melt massive vehicles with flamethrowers. As early as level one there’s opportunity to cruise about in an army jeep and literally run terrorists down, or pick them off mercilessly with the vehicle’s gun if you’re the delicate type.
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Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Arcade)

Street Fighter II: The World Warrior review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

For a moment, forgive creator Capcom's penchant for watering down the viability of their own games by releasing sequel after sequel, and see SFII for the head-to-head combat, genre-blazing pioneer that it is. Similar titles had come before it, such as its own predecessor, but none of them were like this. From a relevance standpoint, Capcom's fighter is no less than Super Mario Brothers with uppercuts.
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Ninja Gaiden (Arcade)

Ninja Gaiden review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

Tecmo made a Double Dragon type game, where the screen scrolled sideways and you could walk up into the background, and added some interesting spices. The result is the arcade version of Ninja Gaiden. Fans of the NES series will find things dreadfully amiss here, (where's the wall climbing, the swordplay, the magic?) and no doubt immediately consider this much different coin-op to be inferior. It is, actually. But not by as much as you'd think.
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Double Dragon II: The Revenge (Arcade)

Double Dragon II: The Revenge review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 16, 2003

How wildly our imaginations distort the truth! How apt they are to bend and twist our so-so memories of games into more favourable aspects so that we may think dearly of these adventures from our past, and finally, triumphantly, gloriously, return to them. More often than not, we shouldn’t. With games like Double Dragon 2, we should leave it at, ''wasn’t that a blast?'' Because with revisitation comes the dark face of reality unadorned by the kindly mixture of time, and time away.
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Crime City (Arcade)

Crime City review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 16, 2003

Remember Miami Vice? Or, failing that, the Lethal Weapon series? Well, from the two-word titles, right down to the main characters - the cool ADD-afflicted Caucasian guy, and by-the-book clean cut black guy - Crime City isn’t ashamed to imitate.
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Violence Fight (Arcade)

Violence Fight review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

There’s no game that encompasses the smell of pizza quite like Violence Fight. The aroma twists my head and lures me in. I cannot escape it; it is all-consuming. The game itself -- well, the quality was never in question. At best Violence Fight was always a comical time-waster to me, to us, who spent our lunch times feeding it quarters. Sure, it wasn't deserving of our attention, but it was there, and it was a video game. Better that we should have stayed indoors, inside the school-cum-penitentiary, and eat our packed lunches humbly hunched over at long nondescript benches? HA! How much sweeter it was to play a game this loaded with kitsch, loading our own stomachs full of sloppy pepperoni pizza, and enjoy a sun-filled walk back to our cells and classrooms.
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Superman (Arcade)

Superman review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Taito used to rule the corner stores with an iron fist. And as such, all we kids who cut class to go to the corner stores to play video games thought Taito was the shit. Superman was a big name cog in the mighty Taito wheel that included other beat-em-up notables like Thunder Fox and Crime City. I think the latter two were my absolute favourites, and what’s nice is that in revisiting them, I found that I still enjoyed myself quite a bit beyond the tingly feeling in your stomach that nostalgia brings. Unfortunately, Superman doesn’t do any tingly things anymore. It just makes me yawn.
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Street Fighter (Arcade)

Street Fighter review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

That guy in the first player slot with red hair, jerking about as if frames of animation are missing, is Ryu. You might recognize him; his hair has gotten darker with age and he has since doffed the ruby red slippers he wears in this incarnation. The blonde guy occupying the spot opposite his Japanese counterpart is the barefooted Ken. He seems to have gotten prettier with age, which is a good thing, because he’s ugly as sin in this game. (Perhaps the Masters Corporation was on the cusp of multibillion dollar success, allowing young Ken to later go under the knife.) These are the only two characters you can select from.
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Snow Bros. (Arcade)

Snow Bros. review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Nick and Tom are snowmen. They wear little hats on the backs of their heads, and are dressed down, trailer park style in overalls, with no shirts. The two always smiling wonders have a daunting task on their plates - no less than 50 levels of one-screen-at-a-time action demands conquering, and the monsters patrolling each one-level screen or 'floor', have only one mission in life, and that's snowman homicide.
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R-Type Leo (Arcade)

R-Type Leo review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

When you play the first few levels, your hardened fan’s heart will melt with the realization that this is the sort of simple genius that makes for excellent shooting, and is deserving of its own sequel, or series. Under another moniker, Leo may have flourished, but it found itself in limbo during the shooter supply and demand pipeline between IREM and their fans. An excellent game they got - the game they wanted, they did not.
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Rezon (Arcade)

Rezon review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

The people at Alhummer were some evil, sadistic sons of bitches. I can’t stress this enough. They weren’t so creative, but they were cold and calculating. Consider this: they took Irem’s arcade, horizontal shooter hit, R-Type, and absolutely, positively ripped it off. But that was only the beginning. I mean, we’ve seen R-Type clones before. But Rezon takes the cloning process to a whole other level.
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Magician Lord (NeoGeo)

Magician Lord review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 14, 2003

Begin as blue-clad Elta in the Dale of Evil Gods, and descend the very rungs of the ladder of hell to recover the Eight Books of Wisdom from the God of Destruction, Az Atorse. Magician Lord is dead serious, and if you don't believe me, simply witness the names of places and enemies. Travel the Corridor Leading to Hell and wreak havoc on the parapets of the Castle of Devils, taking on guardians like Beautiful Assassin, and bosses like Hell's Creation (the guardians guard the bosses lairs) on the fiery eight-stage path to the final showdown.
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Pulstar (NeoGeo)

Pulstar review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 14, 2003

The legend goes this way: a handful of surly IREM expatriates fled the unimaginative rut they were in to explore greener pastures. They were unhappy with the way R-Type II turned out - it was simply more of the same. They wanted to up the ante, and create their vision of a true follow up to the perennial quarter-muncher. A sort of Super R-Type, to borrow a name. That game is Pulstar.
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Last Resort (NeoGeo)

Last Resort review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

If you’ve played R-Type - the perennial arcade side-scrolling space shooter - and you didn’t like it, you will hate Last Resort It’s that simple. You will hate it for its extreme difficulty, you will hate it for its unforgivable 'back you go to the last checkpoint 10 minutes ago' attitude.
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Donkey Kong Junior (Colecovision)

Donkey Kong Junior review (CVN)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

While the perennial favourite, Donkey Kong, had a little red-capped, thick-mustached plumber leaping barrels sent careening his way by the big guy himself, Donkey Kong Jr changes things up completely. Now Mario is exacting some measure of revenge, somehow managing to capture the big ape and chain him up (any self-respecting PETA member's alarm bells would go off if they saw young Jimmy having a go at this).
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Super Street Fighter II Turbo (3DO)

Super Street Fighter II Turbo review (3DO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Panasonic should thank their lucky stars (well, not so lucky) that Capcom allowed their favourite sons, Ken and Ryu to play on the 3DO's abandoned, decrepit property. Super Street Fighter II Turbo (SSFIIT) remains one of the few bright spots in the dark annals of the now defunct system's lifespan. Unless you absolutely abhor one on one fighting contests, this game is a must have for the 3DO owner.
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Out of This World (3DO)

Out of This World review (3DO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Imagine being in another world, totally different than this Earth - blue and purple-shadowed, otherworldly and brimming with sudden violence. Anthropoid beasts brood in black uniforms, walking the sunless earth, their faces telling of the grey atmosphere with matted, chalky complexions. Black as death are the animals they keep, resembling bulls, charging about when not kept in check. Lasers crisscross your panorama from the weapons of their two-legged masters, while their proud stone edifices and buildings push up from the ground like crooked fingers.
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Gals Panic (Arcade)

Gals Panic review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Your goal here is to move your icon around the square-shaped stage. You can move wherever you like so long as you like and not have to worry about dying. The minute you start drawing a line, though, you're vulnerable to attacks. Enemies are moving about along with you, and if they hit you while you're drawing, or shape you're drawing that you haven't completed, you lose a life.
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Mario Bros. (Apple II)

Mario Bros. review (APP2)

Reviewed on December 12, 2003

There are new elements from one set of stages to the next. In the early areas, your enemies are turtles. Those fellows fall easily to your bumping technique. However, as you'll soon face the lobsters (they take two hits to disorient), the flies (they bounce about) and even natural hazards such as ice monsters that freeze ledges and the icicles that like to break loose and fall on your head from time to time.
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Side Arms (TurboGrafx-16)

Side Arms review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 11, 2003

Rather than the collection of illegal weapons you thought you would find piled on the counter when you asked for it, Side Arms is a side-scrolling shooting game from Capcom. Radiance Software ported the game over to the Turbografx-16 in a historical move; it was the Turbo’s first third party release.
Masters's avatar

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