Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Metal Slug 7 review (DS) Reviewed on November 19, 2008 That's when you realize that something has changed. Somewhere between the first two dull stages and the end of the third frenetic round, you started having fun. Lots of it. Somewhere during that series of jumps and explosions and the escape from the steel ball and slimy worms, the pieces fell into place and Metal Slug 7 stopped feeling like a pale imitation of past glories. The “been there, done that” haze dissipated and suddenly you care.
	PAIN review (PS3) Reviewed on November 18, 2008 PAIN is strangely complex for a game that's so obviously aimed at getting a few laughs from gamers who want to play something quick in between chugging Car Bombs. The point system is based on an ornate series of crash combos and scenarios that are actually quite difficult to pull off, such as knocking a bowling ball off a building with just the right timing to land on a police car to send it bouncing towards an explosive crate which kills a guy in a cow suit. The controls aren't intuitive, either. Somehow, Idol Minds found a way to unnecessarily incorporate every single button on the PS3 controller in their control scheme, including the d-pad and the SIXAXIS motion controls. The few times I loaded up the game, I had to retake the 30-minute tutorial just to remember how to play.
	Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure review (DS) Reviewed on November 18, 2008 I'm all for that old school format where enemies attack you that you can't even see, but Rhapsody takes that to an irritating extreme. Dungeons are fairly straight-forward in their design (with a map in the top screen that lets you keep track of where you are), but there's still a lot of wandering that must be done if you want to gather assorted items and puppets. Every few steps, it seems like you'll face an attack. The result is that you won't want to explore. You'll wish you had a map that pointed the way to the absolute shortest route, just because every dead end you encounter means you fought two or three unnecessary battles.
	Planet of Lust review (AMIGA) Reviewed on November 18, 2008 After the eye-melting monstrosities of SEX VIXENS FROM SPACE, Free Spirit apparently decided to hire an actual artist for this subsequent attempt to create an actual game. Unfortunately they must have been so busy wanking over the new graphics that they forgot to include those niggling little details like "puzzles," "plot," and "point."
	Ninjatown review (DS) Reviewed on November 17, 2008 Ninjatown has thrown me for a bit of a loop, so much so that I just know it’s going to lead to the kind of introduction I’ve been trying to avoid for years, so I might as well get it out of the way early then sulk in the corner for a while. Here goes: Ninjatown has a cute, fluffy exterior that cunningly hides a devious centre.
	SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Confrontation review (PS3) Reviewed on November 16, 2008 SOCOM: Confrontation changes that dynamic and suffers for it. The way things work now, a single player from the opposing team might choose a light machine gun, run into a squad of tactical players and very likely win the day. Gone are the days of carefully planned movements and teamwork, replaced by generic run-and-gun gameplay commonly found in less creative or realistic games such as Halo and Half-Life. Certainly the game can be every ounce the tactical shooter experience you might expect if both teams choose to play tactically, but this rarely happens in random public matches.
	Imperium Romanum: Emperor Expansion review (PC) Reviewed on November 16, 2008 Imperium Ronanum: Gold Edition is by no means a bad game. I believe it was built for newcomers to the genre, as everything from resource management to the interface is incredibly simplified. Regulars will still see some uncannily similarities to games they've played before, namely Glory of the Roman Empire. Make no mistake, though: This is not a typical strategy aimed at your average war-monger.
	The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (PS2) Reviewed on November 15, 2008 In short, The King of Fighters '98: The Slugfest really does feel like a complete game that could have stood alone—precisely as you see it here—and even fetched a similar price. It's the reason that you might feel good about reaching for your wallet. Unless you're a history buff, unless you care to learn more about each character featured in the series and his or her evolution over the years... you won't spend much time with any but this final selection.
	Back at the Barnyard: Slop Bucket Games review (DS) Reviewed on November 15, 2008 Welcome to the Cowlympics. In Back to the Bardyard: Slop Bucket Games you must best the cast of the Nickelodean series across ten wacky events to earn the ultimate golden bucket. Unfortunately, THQ doesn't bring its A-game in utilizing the full personality of its license.
	Mirror's Edge review (PS3) Reviewed on November 15, 2008 The game does a lot of things right, things that every bone in my gamer body tells me shouldn't work. The first-person perspective, for instance, works better than it has any right to, taking a basic platformer/action title and making it truly immersive. It is easily the game's claim to fame. There's nothing quite like jumping from the roof of a skyscraper to a tiny ledge, thinking you've missed only to see your arm dart up and grab hold at the last minute.
	Exile review (TGCD) Reviewed on November 14, 2008 Today’s review is brought to you by the letter E, commonly found in such words as "execution," "eviscerated," and of course "eroticism" – all of which can likewise be found among the desert wastes of Exile.
	Midnight Club: LA Remix review (PSP) Reviewed on November 14, 2008 One mistake shouldn’t decide the outcome of a race (unless you were inches from the finish line, of course). Likewise, the opposite shouldn’t happen either, but it occasionally does in LA Remix. If you manage to drive perfectly for the first half to 75% of the race, there’s a good chance you’ll be so far ahead of your opponents that there’s no way they can ever catch up.
	Ultima: Quest of the Avatar review (NES) Reviewed on November 13, 2008 And so your quest isn't to overpower some great evil, but instead to master eight virtues and become an Avatar — the human representation of goodness whose purity of soul will be the necessary inspiration for the populace to enter a new era of prosperity.
	Alisia Dragoon review (GEN) Reviewed on November 12, 2008 But she does have need of two things that set her apart: a quintet of highly-destructive pets that faithfully tail her wherever she treads and the rather handy ability to channel flickering forks of lightning into the faces of evil hostiles ranging from hives of undead monkey-bats to teleporting guardsmen swinging mammoth claymores.
	Celebrity Sports Showdown review (WII) Reviewed on November 12, 2008 As for the actual celebrity roster, it doesn't do the game any favors. About half of them are washed-up athletes that you may or may not recognize, while the other half are generally successful pop and country artists. You've seen better line-ups gathered for VH1 specials making fun of stupid criminals and the 80s. It's so underwhelming that to add some flair, the developers even threw in 'wannabe' celebrities such as Steve (he looks kind of like Elton John with a potbelly hanging out of an Elvis-style jumpsuit), Chad (goth all the way) and Kylie (some girl who runs around in a bunny suit).
	Rock Revolution review (X360) Reviewed on November 12, 2008 It by no means beats out Harmonix's effort in terms of gameplay, but if you've played so much Rock Band that you're in danger of burning out on the series -- or if you were disappointed by the lackluster Guitar Hero: World Tour -- Rock Revolution is a refreshing alternative.
	Midnight Club: Los Angeles review (PS3) Reviewed on November 12, 2008 If you can get past the pain of losing the same race for the umpteenth time, Midnight Club: Los Angeles is a very good racing game.
	Fable II review (X360) Reviewed on November 11, 2008 One of the most impressive evolutions in Fable II is the way it holds your hand in a non-intrusive manner. For years, games have been including mini-maps in the lower corner of the screen so that you can check at a glance where you are in your environment. Here, there's none of that... and the game is actually better because of it! No longer do you have to consult a semi-transparent overlay to see where the next exit lies. You can still pause the game and bring up a cumbersome—and sometimes useful—map if that's what you want, but often there's no reason.
	Nancy Drew: The Haunting of Castle Malloy review (PC) Reviewed on November 11, 2008 Nancy Drew can do everything. This adventure, her 19th game outing, gives her an opportunity to work as a wedding planner, chemist, musician, bartender, astronomer, mathematician, and shepherd. But of course, her most important role is always that of super sleuth. To completely unravel The Haunting of Castle Malloy, Nancy must decipher an intriguing blend of old world folklore and modern scientific mysteries before her friend's wedding is canceled for good!
	Xenogears review (PSX) Reviewed on November 11, 2008 And there were plenty of moments like that throughout the game that kept me wanting to keep playing so the countless number of questions I had could be answered. Why did imperial commander Ramsus have a serious grudge against Fei, considering that Fei seemingly has no clue as to who the man is? Why does Citan (the doctor you visit in the game's beginning) seem to know so much about virtually everything? What is the connection between Fei and the ominously threatening Grahf, who constantly preaches the joys of utter destruction?

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