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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
EVE Burst Error (PC)

EVE Burst Error review (PC)

Reviewed on February 28, 2004

The strength of Eve Burst Error lies in how the pieces are assembled, revealing just enough to keep you excited without spoiling the surprises yet to come — and let me tell you, the writers really like to mess with your mind.
zigfried's avatar
Super Off Road: The Baja (SNES)

Super Off Road: The Baja review (SNES)

Reviewed on February 26, 2004

If you race long enough to build up a good supply of nitro, races can take on quite the frantic pace. You'll zip along the roads, weaving between plants, around four-wheelers, and through groups of other trucks. There are plenty of small hills and streams to rush over, so it's great fun to see how long you can zip along the rough terrain before hitting so many obstacles that your truck is ruined.
honestgamer's avatar
Everything or Nothing (GameCube)

Everything or Nothing review (GCN)

Reviewed on February 26, 2004

James can fire a wide variety of weapons, rappel down the sides of buildings, skydive, pilot helicopters and cars and motorcycles. Some of these actions feel almost like separate games. The quality is that high. Yet everything is implemented in a nearly seamless fashion to form the type of quilt that can wrap you up and keep you warm all winter.
honestgamer's avatar
The Fairly OddParents: Breakin' Da Rules (GameCube)

The Fairly OddParents: Breakin' Da Rules review (GCN)

Reviewed on February 21, 2004

Though it's not so much the case in the early stages, the pathetic double jump is going to provide numerous moments of frustration as players try to navigate architecture that absolutely requires high-precision jumps over bubbling lava, bottomless pits, and whatever else the game chooses to throw at you. Even in cases where a jump doesn't result in the instant loss of a life, it's likely to force you to backtrack and try the jump again... and again, and again.
honestgamer's avatar
Final Fantasy X-2 (PlayStation 2)

Final Fantasy X-2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on February 19, 2004

On the one hand, it is made by Square Enix and says FF in the title. The dressphere system sounded like a really cool variation on the various FF games that have included job classes (FF1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and Tactics to name some.) I was intrigued. On the other hand, FFX-2 looked a whole lot like ''Let's play dress-up!'' and Yuna's new costume made me skeptical. I absolutely could not picture the uncertain, apologetic Lady Summoner running around a la Lara Croft, and I really wanted to know how Square Enix was justifying the transformation.
lassarina's avatar
Viewpoint (NeoGeo)

Viewpoint review (NEO)

Reviewed on February 17, 2004

Well, even by Neo Geo standards it doesn't actually look brilliant if you observe carefully. But the VIEWPOINT makes things look decidedly 3D, and the polygons are shaded so brightly and nicely, in a generally non-threatening fashion, so the overall look is brilliant. I was very impressed when I first beheld this game in action.
Masters's avatar
Metroid: Zero Mission (Game Boy Advance)

Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA)

Reviewed on February 14, 2004

With that said, I was also happy to see that this game doesn't lead you by the hand to the same degree that Metroid Fusion did with its 'computer' set-up. It's still quite possible to get lost and wonder where you should head next. The map might tell you that it's time to approach Kraid's lair, for example, but that doesn't mean you can just take a few passages and find yourself at the encounter; you'll have to locate hidden chutes and such all by yourself.
honestgamer's avatar
Verytex (Genesis)

Verytex review (GEN)

Reviewed on February 10, 2004

Area three takes us back 'outdoors', over Earth perhaps, high enough to skip through the clouds, but low enough to witness clearly the wake of alien conquest. Surely this 'ravaged metropolis' scene is shooter cliché, but decent execution of it never ceases to bring some degree of profound humanity to any blastathon. Regrettably, the crumbling buildings here are nondescript and repetitive, like the houses that whiz by seen through Fred Flintstones' windows as he runs through his own home.
Masters's avatar
XDR: X-Dazedly-Ray (Genesis)

XDR: X-Dazedly-Ray review (GEN)

Reviewed on February 02, 2004

XDR stands for X-Dazedly-Ray. I couldn't have made that up if I tried. I mean, dazedly? What the hell is that all about? And I love how designers Unipac hyphenated the parts, as if that makes the whole somehow make sense. They would have done better to allow the three letters to keep their mystery! That would have afforded us the opportunity to discuss the possibility of the name's origin in clandestine instant messenger chatrooms, or else on shadowy, cultish internet boards dedicated to talking up bad shooters based solely on their obscurity! But Unipac ruined it for us.
Masters's avatar
Activision Anthology (PlayStation 2)

Activision Anthology review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 31, 2004

Activision was kind enough to include scans of original instruction manuals, and it's fun to see the lame covers that decorated these early classics, if you're not lucky enough to own them yourself. Not only that, but I guess back in the day there were patches you could earn for good gameplay. Those are included here, too, and you can unlock them the same as always: by kicking butt and taking names.
honestgamer's avatar
WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$! (Game Boy Advance)

WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$! review (GBA)

Reviewed on January 30, 2004

If there's one flaw in the whole presentation, it's that sometimes the games begin so quickly, you don't really have time to react to your surroundings. You'll start to mess up more than you would if you had time to get your bearings. Of course, the frantic pace throughout is the reward for putting up with this apparent lack of polish, and it overwhelms any general objections one might have to the game as a whole.
honestgamer's avatar
Bushido Blade (PlayStation)

Bushido Blade review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 30, 2004

Imagine two swordsmen facing each other across the moonlit pagoda courtyard. The older man holds his blade steady in a frontal kendo stance, and the younger brandishes a sabre above his head. As the silence of the night punctuates the tension, the brash youngster charges headfirst at the wizened master. A single strike, a single clatter of steel, and both men fall face-first to the ground, dead.
zigfried's avatar
Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo (Turbografx-CD)

Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review (TGCD)

Reviewed on January 24, 2004

Just watching someone play through a level, PC-Engine Dracula X looks damned good, as any Castlevania would, but might not appear to be the holy grail of gaming as some have hyped it. Spend one night with Dracula X — one night exploring and re-visiting old friends, and the whole Castlevania world changes.
zigfried's avatar
Dead or Alive 3 (Xbox)

Dead or Alive 3 review (XBX)

Reviewed on January 22, 2004

It's true that only a superhuman could endure brainbusters, dragon's palms, and ten-story drops from skyscraping towers (breaking a few neon signs in the process, no less). But, beyond the beastly stamina, this game sets a benchmark for realistic — even impeccable — attention to form, timing, and improvisation. And that's what real fighting is about.
zigfried's avatar
Tetris (Game Boy)

Tetris review (GB)

Reviewed on January 21, 2004

To summarize the Tetris experience is to quote Maynard James Keenan of the great rock band Tool -- as I am often wont to do: I know the pieces fit!
Masters's avatar
Sexy Parodius (Saturn)

Sexy Parodius review (SAT)

Reviewed on January 16, 2004

The "bad" endings for each level are very bad. While a good ending might reveal a picture of sexy women in suggestive poses, the "YOU SUCK!" ending might show your character crying or, even worse, a 70-year-old hag in the nude. GROSS! That's certainly powerful motivation to practice hard and improve your character's techniques.
zigfried's avatar
Earnest Evans (Sega CD)

Earnest Evans review (SCD)

Reviewed on January 16, 2004

Vampire bats EXPLODE in waves of blue. Giant naked earthworms stroke the hero to death. Priests hurl Kris daggers across the screen, ceremonial knives whose length put even Shaq to shame. The designers even incorporated the best part of Gradius — that's right, there are MOAI HEADS in this game!
zigfried's avatar
Lords of Thunder (Sega CD)

Lords of Thunder review (SCD)

Reviewed on January 16, 2004

With stylish (if less-than-stellar) graphics, solid and smooth gameplay, variety within each level, and throngs of demonic enemies, Lords of Thunder stands tall as one of The Great Shooters. Definitely worth owning.
zigfried's avatar
Super Castlevania IV (SNES)

Super Castlevania IV review (SNES)

Reviewed on January 16, 2004

The game exhibits useless imagination from the very beginning, with two-tiered levels (walk through a gate and traverse the background — pass back through the gate and you're in the foreground again) and new enemies such as a skeletal knight riding atop a skeletal horse. This cart's got some serious style. Too bad it's so damn ugly.
zigfried's avatar
Final Zone II (Turbografx-CD)

Final Zone II review (TGCD)

Reviewed on January 16, 2004

The hilariously incomprehensible cinematics and the ill-fitting CD music bring the game down. Yes, thanks to the extra space afforded by the CD medium, this game is actually worse than if it had been a TurboChip! Pulling off such a feat is truly revolutionary.
zigfried's avatar

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