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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Bug Attack (Apple II)

Bug Attack review (APP2)

Reviewed on May 30, 2004

Most everyone is out to get him. The few that aren’t spend their time cowering in the face of insect-shaped aliens that have made the realm their own. These fearsome foes come in one of three shapes: ants, caterpillars and butterflies. Each of them are capable of dropping knives the size of their own bodies, and the screen is often filled with waves of metal weapons you must dodge while you return pathetic pellets of your own.
honestgamer's avatar
Sesame Street: 123 (NES)

Sesame Street: 123 review (NES)

Reviewed on May 29, 2004

None of this is rocket science, and none of it is meant to be. The concern I have is that even the most ‘difficult’ of these can be completed with enough guesses. Completed games don't necessarily mean your kids have learned a single thing. I don’t really see how this could be a solid educational tool, and it’s definitely not fun. Even small children will get sick of it within a few minutes.
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Devil May Cry 2 (PlayStation 2)

Devil May Cry 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 25, 2004

Any time I found someone that offered a vague sign of a challenge, I'd just back away, jump into the air and start firing rounds of ammo like they were going out of style. My opponents would then lazily meander toward me, at which point I'd retreat to the next safe vantage point and unload another clip on them. This cowardly strategy works surprisingly well on most of your opponents, many bosses included.
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Disgaea: Hour of Darkness (PlayStation 2)

Disgaea: Hour of Darkness review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 25, 2004

Disgaea belongs firmly in the first camp of superior tactical roleplaying games, although it should be noted that it’s hanging by its fingernails off the edge of the cliff. The requisite tactical gameplay needs some tweaks, but this is balanced by the charm that the characters of Disgaea possess.
sgreenwell's avatar
Tetris (NES)

Tetris review (NES)

Reviewed on May 22, 2004

While the colors continued changing, I noticed something else rather distressing, though. The more lines I cleared, the faster things got. Pretty soon blocks were flying all over the place and it was simply more than I could do to keep up. I started screaming at the television and my daughter--bless her soul--came into the room to make sure I wasn't having a stroke. The screen filled up about that time and I was told my game was over.
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Rollerblade Racer (NES)

Rollerblade Racer review (NES)

Reviewed on May 15, 2004

So you're racing like your pants are on fire, you have no idea what's up ahead, and it's probably going to trip you up and leave you in a heap on the street. As a matter of fact, the best strategy seems to hang around near the middle of the screen, flying forward as quickly as you can, mashing the 'A' button repeatedly so that even if you land on the edge of a dangerous object, you'll be airborne again before the game realizes what just happened.
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Milon's Secret Castle (NES)

Milon's Secret Castle review (NES)

Reviewed on May 12, 2004

The world of Milon's Secret Castle is filled with ledges, long jumps, and elemental hazards that will make short work of your energy gauge. And thanks to the lack of invulnerability I already mentioned, it's possible to bump against a single enemy and find most of your life vanished before you've moved away. Do that often at all and it's game over. Everything you've done will be lost and you'll have to start over.
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The Rocketeer (NES)

The Rocketeer review (NES)

Reviewed on May 12, 2004

Watching Cliff plod through a stage wouldn't be a problem, for example, if the stage were interesting instead of a void of color and personality. Repeating a stage after smashing your toe in a gear wouldn't be quite so bad if you knew the poorly-timed jump was your fault. And so it goes, with each problem compounding the next.
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Gunstar Heroes (Genesis)

Gunstar Heroes review (GEN)

Reviewed on May 03, 2004

The light tone really is impossible to ignore. It hits you across the face the minute you plug in the title, then turns gracefully on one heel like a figure skater before nailing you in the crotch with another well-timed blow. Visuals are extremely cartoony, and often looked to me like the love child of an affair shared by Street Fighter 2 and The Powerpuff Girls.
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Silpheed: The Lost Planet (PlayStation 2)

Silpheed: The Lost Planet review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 02, 2004

When you consider Silpheed: The Lost Planet, it'll never reminds you of a limping, cigar-smoking gopher. Nor will it make you tap dance on the table. There are a lot of things Silpheed won't remind you of, a lot of things it won't make you do. But if you're a casual shooter fan, it will remind you of the fun shooters from days of old, and it will make you grin.
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Kickle Cubicle (NES)

Kickle Cubicle review (NES)

Reviewed on April 28, 2004

Suddenly, you run into an enemy and 'Game Over' plops onto the screen. Your carefully-groomed score is reset to nothing, and you continue to find yourself on the screen you just left. At this point, there are two potential reactions. The first is utter despair because all that hard work amounted to such a puny high score. The second is complete relief that you don't have to replay some of those earlier stages. Unfortunately, most every player is going to lean toward the latter.
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The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie (Genesis)

The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

When Capcom released its first game for the Genesis, I wanted to spit at the company for turning traitor. Capcom was Nintendo's homey. Everyone knew that. Things got even worse when they ported The Magical Adventure to the Genesis. The title was one of my favorites for the Super Nintendo, and I selfishly wanted to keep that joy to myself, out of the hands of the poor saps stupid enough to support the Genesis instead of Nintendo's system. In the good old days, I was the worst sort of fanboy. Eventually, my disgust with Capcom caused me to disregard all their Genesis releases, and so it wasn't until just recently that I discovered they also released the follow-up to The Magical Quest. It's called The Great Circus Mystery, and it's one of the most recent additions to my collection. As it turns out, it's also not quite the fun that its predecessor was.
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Phelios (Genesis)

Phelios review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

Persevere and you’ll witness the standard ‘cave with intestines wiggling in the background’ level, a sky palace where knights flanking you from the rear try to drive lances up your butt, and even a zone where you have to shoot rolling blocks to prevent them from crashing into others and bursting into shrapnel. None of this matters, though, because you’re too busy hoping the portions in between will just end. Not good at all when there are only seven rather short stages in the whole game.
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Championship Pro-Am (Genesis)

Championship Pro-Am review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

It begins to feel like you're sliding around the course, rather than taking advantage of the tight steering you enjoyed early on. Meanwhile, your opponents are doing the same all around you and just ahead. Missiles become extremely important, particularly on final laps, and there's very little that can be more frustrating than pressing the 'B' button only to find that you've used your last shell.
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Terranigma (SNES)

Terranigma review (SNES)

Reviewed on April 21, 2004

Terranigma is a bore. There are no two ways about it. Any typically cutesy charm, any simple fun, have been undermined by the title's illusions of grandeur -- it spends so much time trying to manifest a slow build that it just feels slow. Who wants to spend their first two hours or so with an action-RPG slashing at potato bugs and little plants? We are continually assured that greatness is on its way, but the lead up is so tedious that we soon become indifferent as to the possibility of its arrival.
Masters's avatar
Burger Time (NES)

Burger Time review (NES)

Reviewed on April 18, 2004

Several times, Sammy has come face to face with the white devil, only to find himself choking and sputtering on salt as the deviant rushed past. While it's true that the chef has only a limited supply of salt, he can pick up more containers throughout the area (and oft is wont to do so). When a soldier like Sammy is stunned on salt, it's all too easy to fall to his doom before he has a chance to recover.
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Gladius (Xbox)

Gladius review (XBX)

Reviewed on April 16, 2004

The moves characters can learn are determined by class. Even within that limiting structure, though, the player is forced to make decisions. Each character will have an assortment of moves available, but you must choose the ones you feel best suit your fighting style. The game cautions you that a lack of foresight will cause things to grow more difficult for you, and it isn't joking.
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Wings of Wor (Genesis)

Wings of Wor review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 12, 2004

Welcome Wor. Brace up, you've got a nasty business ahead to be sure. Six levels of side-scrolling shooting action await you. Spread your ethereal wings and steel your warrior's heart, because this Genesis mission offers up more sheer bullet count -- more grotesquerie -- than you'll likely be prepared for.
Masters's avatar
Hokuto no Ken: Seiki Matsukyu Seishi Densetsu (PlayStation)

Hokuto no Ken: Seiki Matsukyu Seishi Densetsu review (PSX)

Reviewed on April 11, 2004

Yeah, I had seen quite a bit of the TV show, and it was alright. The movie sucked. But the video game, OH MY FRIGGIN' GOD. Call me a "Fist" fan, effective immediately!
zigfried's avatar
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (GameCube)

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers review (GCN)

Reviewed on April 08, 2004

The trouble with The Two Towers, which chronicles the middle chapter (beginning with Frodo still in the care of The Fellowship) of the series, is that it pays so much obvious loving attention to the movie it is borne of, that the gameplay elements seem an afterthought, left under-ripe and wholly unsatisfying. Powerful cinematic moments such as The Battle at Helm's Deep are reduced to novelty, superfluous small screen re-enactments followed up rather clumsily by limited, repetitive Golden Axe-esque gameplay. You'll remember Golden Axe? Perhaps not -- it's a very old game. It featured three characters: one fast, one strong, and one in-between. And so, meet Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn.
Masters's avatar

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