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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Hillsfar (NES)

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Hillsfar review (NES)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

After riding into the city of Hillsfar you’ll find it to be rather lacking in terms of dragons, but it certainly doesn’t skimp on the seemingly endless parade of fetch quests (“retrieve this rare spell component for me,” “rescue the princess,” “find my pantaloons,” etc) that lead you to seek out a dreary maze somewhere and open every treasure chest in sight until you discover some halfhearted clue . . . that sends you off looking for another dreary maze.
sho's avatar
Nightshade (PlayStation 2)

Nightshade review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 08, 2004

Think how fun it would feel to ride along trucks moving down a freeway, slashing at ninjas and running along the sides of the vehicles before leaping to another as the previous one bursts into flames behind you. Better yet, envision the crumbling remains of a massive suspension bridge, filled with gaps and flying enemies you must leapfrog across in order to survive. The game is filled with moments like this, and more. Often, they’re every bit as thrilling as they sound.
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Tsuki ~Possession~ (PC)

Tsuki ~Possession~ review (PC)

Reviewed on July 03, 2004

The artwork is amateurish, the music is forgettable, and the plot is stupid. The game is filled with misogyny, degradation, cruelty, humiliation, and outright gruesomeness.
zigfried's avatar
Firepower 2000 (SNES)

Firepower 2000 review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 23, 2004

Enemy vehicles often take the form of stationary turrets that have no trouble firing in all sorts of directions, but there also are tanks that may roll in from any side of the screen, swarming units of helicopters, or machines hiding beneath foliage to the side of the screen. The Jeep can obviously adapt so that it fires diagonally and is out of the range of most shots, but the helicopter is going to have to dodge like crazy if it’s to survive long enough to pepper the screen with shots of its own.
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Autobahn (Apple II)

Autobahn review (APP2)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

The goal is to drive down the Autobahn, that famous French freeway with no speed limit and people who like to drive as fast as their cars will move. Other than yourself, though, there aren’t a lot of people who have the sort of engine to take advantage of the environment. So you take it upon yourself to weave through traffic like a soccer mom on the way to the game in her husband’s SUV. Aside from a few minor details, I’ve just described the whole game.
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Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master (Genesis)

Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 04, 2004

With Shinobi III, a new evil has reared its head, demanding of Joe more side-scrolling, projectile-hurling escapades! You and Joe both reminisce, silently cognizant of the style and thunder of his previous path to bloody revenge (forget the offbeat Shadow Dancer for the moment). The Revenge of Shinobi in fact, was the game that cemented his status as hero extraordinaire. That mission had been diabolical in its conception, and his response to its dangers was legendary. Would this latest challenge prove as worthy? Would he?
Masters's avatar
Bug Attack (Apple II)

Bug Attack review (APP2)

Reviewed on May 30, 2004

Most everyone is out to get him. The few that aren’t spend their time cowering in the face of insect-shaped aliens that have made the realm their own. These fearsome foes come in one of three shapes: ants, caterpillars and butterflies. Each of them are capable of dropping knives the size of their own bodies, and the screen is often filled with waves of metal weapons you must dodge while you return pathetic pellets of your own.
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Sesame Street: 123 (NES)

Sesame Street: 123 review (NES)

Reviewed on May 29, 2004

None of this is rocket science, and none of it is meant to be. The concern I have is that even the most ‘difficult’ of these can be completed with enough guesses. Completed games don't necessarily mean your kids have learned a single thing. I don’t really see how this could be a solid educational tool, and it’s definitely not fun. Even small children will get sick of it within a few minutes.
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Devil May Cry 2 (PlayStation 2)

Devil May Cry 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 25, 2004

Any time I found someone that offered a vague sign of a challenge, I'd just back away, jump into the air and start firing rounds of ammo like they were going out of style. My opponents would then lazily meander toward me, at which point I'd retreat to the next safe vantage point and unload another clip on them. This cowardly strategy works surprisingly well on most of your opponents, many bosses included.
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Disgaea: Hour of Darkness (PlayStation 2)

Disgaea: Hour of Darkness review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 25, 2004

Disgaea belongs firmly in the first camp of superior tactical roleplaying games, although it should be noted that it’s hanging by its fingernails off the edge of the cliff. The requisite tactical gameplay needs some tweaks, but this is balanced by the charm that the characters of Disgaea possess.
sgreenwell's avatar
Tetris (NES)

Tetris review (NES)

Reviewed on May 22, 2004

While the colors continued changing, I noticed something else rather distressing, though. The more lines I cleared, the faster things got. Pretty soon blocks were flying all over the place and it was simply more than I could do to keep up. I started screaming at the television and my daughter--bless her soul--came into the room to make sure I wasn't having a stroke. The screen filled up about that time and I was told my game was over.
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Rollerblade Racer (NES)

Rollerblade Racer review (NES)

Reviewed on May 15, 2004

So you're racing like your pants are on fire, you have no idea what's up ahead, and it's probably going to trip you up and leave you in a heap on the street. As a matter of fact, the best strategy seems to hang around near the middle of the screen, flying forward as quickly as you can, mashing the 'A' button repeatedly so that even if you land on the edge of a dangerous object, you'll be airborne again before the game realizes what just happened.
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Milon's Secret Castle (NES)

Milon's Secret Castle review (NES)

Reviewed on May 12, 2004

The world of Milon's Secret Castle is filled with ledges, long jumps, and elemental hazards that will make short work of your energy gauge. And thanks to the lack of invulnerability I already mentioned, it's possible to bump against a single enemy and find most of your life vanished before you've moved away. Do that often at all and it's game over. Everything you've done will be lost and you'll have to start over.
honestgamer's avatar
The Rocketeer (NES)

The Rocketeer review (NES)

Reviewed on May 12, 2004

Watching Cliff plod through a stage wouldn't be a problem, for example, if the stage were interesting instead of a void of color and personality. Repeating a stage after smashing your toe in a gear wouldn't be quite so bad if you knew the poorly-timed jump was your fault. And so it goes, with each problem compounding the next.
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Gunstar Heroes (Genesis)

Gunstar Heroes review (GEN)

Reviewed on May 03, 2004

The light tone really is impossible to ignore. It hits you across the face the minute you plug in the title, then turns gracefully on one heel like a figure skater before nailing you in the crotch with another well-timed blow. Visuals are extremely cartoony, and often looked to me like the love child of an affair shared by Street Fighter 2 and The Powerpuff Girls.
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Silpheed: The Lost Planet (PlayStation 2)

Silpheed: The Lost Planet review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 02, 2004

When you consider Silpheed: The Lost Planet, it'll never reminds you of a limping, cigar-smoking gopher. Nor will it make you tap dance on the table. There are a lot of things Silpheed won't remind you of, a lot of things it won't make you do. But if you're a casual shooter fan, it will remind you of the fun shooters from days of old, and it will make you grin.
honestgamer's avatar
Kickle Cubicle (NES)

Kickle Cubicle review (NES)

Reviewed on April 28, 2004

Suddenly, you run into an enemy and 'Game Over' plops onto the screen. Your carefully-groomed score is reset to nothing, and you continue to find yourself on the screen you just left. At this point, there are two potential reactions. The first is utter despair because all that hard work amounted to such a puny high score. The second is complete relief that you don't have to replay some of those earlier stages. Unfortunately, most every player is going to lean toward the latter.
honestgamer's avatar
The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie (Genesis)

The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

When Capcom released its first game for the Genesis, I wanted to spit at the company for turning traitor. Capcom was Nintendo's homey. Everyone knew that. Things got even worse when they ported The Magical Adventure to the Genesis. The title was one of my favorites for the Super Nintendo, and I selfishly wanted to keep that joy to myself, out of the hands of the poor saps stupid enough to support the Genesis instead of Nintendo's system. In the good old days, I was the worst sort of fanboy. Eventually, my disgust with Capcom caused me to disregard all their Genesis releases, and so it wasn't until just recently that I discovered they also released the follow-up to The Magical Quest. It's called The Great Circus Mystery, and it's one of the most recent additions to my collection. As it turns out, it's also not quite the fun that its predecessor was.
honestgamer's avatar
Phelios (Genesis)

Phelios review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

Persevere and you’ll witness the standard ‘cave with intestines wiggling in the background’ level, a sky palace where knights flanking you from the rear try to drive lances up your butt, and even a zone where you have to shoot rolling blocks to prevent them from crashing into others and bursting into shrapnel. None of this matters, though, because you’re too busy hoping the portions in between will just end. Not good at all when there are only seven rather short stages in the whole game.
honestgamer's avatar
Championship Pro-Am (Genesis)

Championship Pro-Am review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 24, 2004

It begins to feel like you're sliding around the course, rather than taking advantage of the tight steering you enjoyed early on. Meanwhile, your opponents are doing the same all around you and just ahead. Missiles become extremely important, particularly on final laps, and there's very little that can be more frustrating than pressing the 'B' button only to find that you've used your last shell.
honestgamer's avatar

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