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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Gekioh: Shooting King (PlayStation)

Gekioh: Shooting King review (PSX)

Reviewed on September 11, 2004

If the rather generic (though generally appropriate) game music was getting on your nerves, switch to the new mode to hear a laugh track and silly music as the on-screen jet fights the good fight against alien scum. It’s definitely humorous, and it’s only one of the options. Another mode finds you limited in view so that it feels like you’re playing a game on a small calculator (quite fun, actually, and challenging), while yet another slows down the action to a near-crawl.
honestgamer's avatar
Mojib-Ribbon (PlayStation 2)

Mojib-Ribbon review (PS2)

Reviewed on September 06, 2004

When on the subject of rap music, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Guns? Drugs? Burly, angry looking gangsters pimping their skanks on the street perhaps? Whatever your answer may be, I'm willing to bet that it has absolutely nothing what-so-ever to do with Japan and the incredibly polite (yet quite odd) people that live there. Furthermore, I'd also lay my hip street credz on the line and wager a small fortune that calligraphy wasn't even a consideration. And while this may be so, where cult Japanese developer NaNaOn-Sha is concerned, nothing says rap more than a horse hair brush and a fat, fat jar of thick black ink.
midwinter's avatar
Spider-Man 2 (Game Boy Advance)

Spider-Man 2 review (GBA)

Reviewed on September 02, 2004

The disappointing adventure is based loosely on the happenings from the hit movie. I say loosely, because the creators of the game saw fit to throw in a host of enemies and situations that have nothing to do with the film in a misguided attempt to give us 'more' than a simple movie play through. I can see the merit in providing us more than just Doctor Octopus as the lone boss character from the feature, and yet--it seems ultimately messy and unfocused to offer up The Lizard and Rhino (among others) as combatants for no good reason in the context of the story.
Masters's avatar
La Pucelle: Tactics (PlayStation 2)

La Pucelle: Tactics review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 29, 2004

Each character can carry four items, and there are no class restrictions. What this means is that you have full control over how each team member evolves. Do you want a badass magic user who also has armor more powerful than a locomotive? Not a problem. Just buy the right gear and equip it, then watch your character mow down the opposition without a care in the world.
honestgamer's avatar
Final Fantasy X-2 (PlayStation 2)

Final Fantasy X-2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 22, 2004

Let’s face it, Final Fantasy X wasn’t merely a fantastic RPG in its own right, it surely stood out even among the best of the entire series as well. Therefore it was only natural that Square would want to build upon it for a sequel. That’s why I consider it a rather strange occurrence when the resulting product is not only a disappointment, but seems like it was intentionally developed as a way to slap everyone who enjoyed the original game right in the face.
sho's avatar
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Xbox)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review (XBX)

Reviewed on July 29, 2004

In early stages, the game likes to present you with common ‘purple dragon’ street thugs. They’re every bit as foolish as their name implies. Many times, they’ll dawdle at the entrance to alleys, lined up like bowling pins and waiting for you to roll in for the strike. If they counter at all (and they do as you ratchet up the game’s selectable difficulty levels), you can usually just zip out of the way with a dash, or be sure that your sword is sticking out when they charge with pieces of pipe brandished like clubs.
honestgamer's avatar
Viper (Apple II)

Viper review (APP2)

Reviewed on July 27, 2004

Honestly, the only reason to keep playing is for that next high score (which you can thankfully save to disc). There’s just nothing else to motivate you, since the best part of the graphical presentation is the title screen, and since sound is limited mostly to the ‘beeeoooooop!’ sound you’ll hear when you smash into yourself after a chain of mini-feasts.
honestgamer's avatar
Gate of Thunder (Turbografx-CD)

Gate of Thunder review (TGCD)

Reviewed on July 25, 2004

Gate relentlessly rocks hard and intense, whether it's level one's appropriate 'let's get it on' tone, or level two's melancholy 'this could get sticky' tune, or level seven's 'you know what must be done' closing track. Never before have I been so into a shooter, and perfect weapon system and engaging enemies aside, the music lends the greatest hand to selling me on this purest excitement. Pure, because there is no nostalgia at work (the game is wholly new to me), no feelings of collector's pride (I bought it manual-less and case-less), no feelings of being on the cutting edge (it's a decade old). The exhilaration is as genuine as it gets.
Masters's avatar
Street Fighter (Arcade)

Street Fighter review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

"YOOVE GAHT AH ROHT TOO RAHN BEFOH YOO BEET MEE, TOORIGH AGAAYN KEED (heh heh heh hahahahaha)"
sho's avatar
Double Dragon (Atari 2600)

Double Dragon review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

You’ve got to give Activision credit for ignoring both the hardware’s obvious limitations and a dose of common sense to throw caution to the wind and attempt it anyway. Pity that you can’t give them credit for the game itself.
sho's avatar
Friday the 13th (NES)

Friday the 13th review (NES)

Reviewed on July 21, 2004

The NES adaptation of Friday the 13th takes this laughably awful (and sometimes merely “awful”) saga full of campy dialogue, bloody hatchets and lacy perfumed underthings, only to cast them aside in favor of an awkward mix of action and strategy.
sho's avatar
El Viento (Genesis)

El Viento review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 19, 2004

Whether enjoying a harrying ocean cruise atop a dolphin’s back as numerous bombs hit the foreground with tremendous splashes, braving the conveyer belts and dangerous machinery of a Detroit factory, or attacking the towering power core of a gunnery-filled war zeppelin, if you’re not hooked by the time of the epic confrontation high atop the spires of the Empire State Building then you have surely mislaid your enthusiasm for 2D Blast Processing goodness somewhere along the way.
sho's avatar
Splatterhouse (TurboGrafx-16)

Splatterhouse review (TG16)

Reviewed on July 19, 2004

While there’s certainly plenty of carnage to be found, unfortunately the arcade faithful will discover this SplatterHouse to be a shadow of its parent.
sho's avatar
Clock Tower (PlayStation)

Clock Tower review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Of course, graphic adventures don’t boast a murderer who randomly pops out of lockers, down chimneys, and from other seemingly innocuous places looking to decorate the walls with fresh entrails.
sho's avatar
Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Arcade)

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Hey there all you sweet little boys and girls, I hope you’re ready for something really . . . special. How would you like to go on a totally magical journey of action and discovery with your super big brother, the vaguely glistening King of Pop – MICHAEL JACKSON???
sho's avatar
Ghosts 'n Goblins (Arcade)

Ghosts 'n Goblins review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Ghosts ‘n Goblins takes the concept of respectable difficulty well past the point of merely "hard" and leaves it somewhere in the realm of "utterly ridiculous."
sho's avatar
Ghostbusters (NES)

Ghostbusters review (NES)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Everyone knows that video games based on popular licenses are usually lackluster and best forgotten, but the NES port of Ghostbusters cleverly avoids sinking into that trap – no, it bravely charts a course towards its disastrous new low thanks to a triple threat of mind-numbing repetition, frequently nonexistent controls, and abysmal level design!
sho's avatar
Castlevania (NES)

Castlevania review (NES)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Who can forget listening to the seminal tune “Vampire Killer” as one tread beneath the tattered red curtains and moldering walls of the first stage, whipping down groups of ghouls clad in ragged shrouds, and avoiding the panthers who would suddenly spring to their feet and lunge after us? Simon may not have a face, but he certainly has an atmospheric environment to blindly stumble about in.
sho's avatar
Jungle Fever/Knight on the Town (Atari 2600)

Jungle Fever/Knight on the Town review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Once upon a time in a magical kingdom whose name shall mercifully remain nameless, there was a knight brave and true. Feeling a bit . . . randy . . . one day, our knight took it upon himself to strip off his clothes and embark upon a mighty quest. A mighty quest indeed it was, for the knight’s goal was nothing less than sexual fulfillment, his freakish endowment triumphantly pointing skyward towards the heavens.
sho's avatar
Chiller (Arcade)

Chiller review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Chiller has carved a raw slice of infamy for itself thanks to a gruesomely graphic horror theme; the gore splatters freely as evil dead and innocent humans alike fall into the line of our crosshairs and prepare to meet their respective makers! And what better place to start our adventure than a nice, wholesome torture chamber complete with practically nude men and women writhing in torment?
sho's avatar

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