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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Drac's Night Out (NES)

Drac's Night Out review (NES)

Reviewed on August 19, 2006

The place is crawling with ungrateful commoners looking to send our hero back to the grave, not with torches and pitchforks but by walking into him, so Drac will have to make use of his home’s many deadly traps in order to survive. For example, that innocuous switch over on the wall? Pressing it will drop a nearby chandelier on anyone unlucky enough to be standing beneath it. That lever on the floor? It releases Frankenstein’s massive (and hungry) monster, who then patrols the floor in search of victims before returning to his cage. Or perhaps you’d instead care to investigate what lurks behind that painting? A venomous spider emerges from a secret passage behind the adjacent bookcase. Ah, the joys of interior decorating!
sho's avatar
Animaniacs (SNES)

Animaniacs review (SNES)

Reviewed on August 18, 2006

Animaniacs looks and sounds just like the show, but the similarities end there. This is clearly just another attempt by executives to cash in on the fans’ loyalties.
pup's avatar
Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation 2)

Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 18, 2006

Unbeknownst to the public, hidden within the ruins of Midgar, a malevolent organization known as Deepground seeks to rectify the failures of Sephiroth. Their goal is simple; to awaken the power of Omega and destroy all life.
pup's avatar
Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting (Xbox 360)

Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting review (X360)

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

Yet, to my eventual disappointment, it is the online mode itself that represents all that is wrong with this port. Sure some will gripe about the difficulty of the AI, or go into the small inaccuracies of the sound and visual quality, but the true monster lies on the other side.
destinati0n's avatar
Garfield and His Nine Lives (Game Boy Advance)

Garfield and His Nine Lives review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

So, suppose you get almost to the end of the stage and you just can’t seem to get in a good position to kick that squirrel. He throws one acorn to many or a bird dive bombs you when you’re not expecting it and you take one hit more than your stamina can withstand. Garfield collapses to the ground and goes to sleep. That’s about as violent as the game ever gets, and what it really means in gamer terms is that you’ve just lost a life.
honestgamer's avatar
Jade Empire (Xbox)

Jade Empire review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

The teammate that tags along fails to help matters much; their only use on the battlefield is to draw opposition away from you while they get sliced to ribbons and inflict miserable damage -- even if this appears to be completely contradictory. Take Black Whirlwind, a huge muscle-bound psychopath who lives for mindless violence, a search for the perfect wine and bragging rights. The plot would have you believe that this shaved bear of a man is an unstoppable homicide factory, yet when it is time for his twin axes to be tested, you will often see him being smacked about by even the weakest of foes, leaving you alone to plough through targets unaided.
EmP's avatar
Civilization IV: Warlords (PC)

Civilization IV: Warlords review (PC)

Reviewed on August 16, 2006

When you get a warlord, you then get to decide which available unit you’d like to associate him with. So, let’s say you have a few groups of chariot-riding fiends. He can join them and their power will be boosted accordingly. But they’re hardly invincible, or else the game would be too imbalanced. No, they’re just the slightest bit stronger.
honestgamer's avatar
X-Men Legends (Xbox)

X-Men Legends review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 16, 2006

That’s the best thing about X-Men Legends; it totally discards any of that overbearing crap. There is a story, there are plot twists, but, ultimately, it’s about Magneto trying to dominate the world and the X-Men trying to stop him. The game establishes that and reminds you with the occasional cutscene, but it’s all business beyond that.
lasthero's avatar
Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light (PSP)

Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light review (PSP)

Reviewed on August 15, 2006

Head outside of a town and it’s more of the same, with green plains stretching as far as you can see toward featureless hills broken up only by the occasional tree or stone walkway. There’s also plenty of mist, and you’ll see enemies patrolling. There aren’t random battles in Blade Dancer, just scripted events and other confrontations that you can often avoid simply by running from floating enemy icons (sometimes they’ll even run from you if they’re particularly week).
honestgamer's avatar
FlatOut 2 (PC)

FlatOut 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on August 14, 2006

Scattered throughout each of the available tracks are alternate routes you can take if the mood strikes you. Plenty of games have done that before, but usually it’s just something along the lines of "go left around the big tree instead of right." There’s some of that here, but it’s not emphasized so much as it is simply snuck into place.
honestgamer's avatar
Zombi (Amiga)

Zombi review (AMIGA)

Reviewed on August 14, 2006

Just like every other right-thinking individual, I eagerly anticipate the day/night/nuclear winter when the infernal legions of darkness rise up from their graves in order to crush the living beneath their desiccated heels. Hence the most noteworthy thing about this game is that it’s essentially George Romero’s classic Dawn of the Dead adapted into a graphic adventure.
sho's avatar
Indigo Prophecy (PlayStation 2)

Indigo Prophecy review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 12, 2006

Sometimes making the wrong decision leads to a setback, a step missed along the way. Sometimes it leads into a side story you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, like a quaint night of ice-skating between two friends. Sometimes it leads to a game over. The roads diverge, cross, and one of Indigo Prophecy’s biggest appeals is that it encourages experimentation.
lasthero's avatar
Prey (Xbox 360)

Prey review (X360)

Reviewed on August 11, 2006

Prey's basic concept, which most players have seen five or six times before, is this: a reluctant hero has been sucked into battle against homicidal aliens! A mysterious, metallo-organic sphere hovers above the Earth, ripping entire chunks of the planet apart and dumping civilians into harvesting machines (reminiscent of War of the Worlds). With his girlfriend's life at stake, without any friends by his side, Cherokee Tommy — the hero — must creep his way through a bunch of linear levels to put an end to the alien menace.
zigfried's avatar
Restricted Area (PC)

Restricted Area review (PC)

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

Information exchanges hands like cash, body parts are put on the open market, and corporations hire mercenaries to do their bidding. As an outcast in an already downtrodden society, even you have signed your life away to the corporations with the slim hope of a brighter future.
pup's avatar
Silent Hill 4: The Room (Xbox)

Silent Hill 4: The Room review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

Know from the start that every glimpse of promise, every flicker of macabre brilliance and every fleeting second of spine-chilling horror will crash and burn, leaving only a lingering air of disappointment and wasted potential. Because from the second the game starts, so does its biggest flaw.
EmP's avatar
Pac-Man (Xbox 360)

Pac-Man review (X360)

Reviewed on August 09, 2006

Blinky is riding you like a cowboy on a bronco and you’re doomed if you don’t reach the side warp in time. Every millisecond counts. You round a bend and you need to head left for safety, so you press the button. What happens on-screen? Pac-Man moves down.
honestgamer's avatar
Snatcher (MSX)

Snatcher review (MSX)

Reviewed on August 09, 2006

Hideo Kojima’s SNATCHER is a kickass graphic adventure that’s best described as an inspired synthesis of “Blade Runner,” “Terminator,” and “Wacky Japanese Perverts on Parade.” Trapped in a futuristic city full of synthetic-skinned endoskeletons who murder humans in order to steal their identities, you’re the amnesiac investigator Gillian Seed who blows them away with his big manly gun. No doubt you’re already well aware of this thanks to the highly sought-after Sega CD port, but the MSX2 original is definitely worth checking out – particularly since it’s been completely translated into English.
sho's avatar
Monster House (PlayStation 2)

Monster House review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 07, 2006

The level design takes advantage of each character’s unique attributes. If you’re in control of Chowder, you can expect fewer enemies, yet battles that are every bit as tough because your adversaries can take a lot of damage and keep right on attacking. Jenny, meanwhile, is constantly swarmed by animated chairs and other menaces that will bite savagely into her life meter if she doesn’t keep moving wide of their assault.
honestgamer's avatar
Bad Boys: Miami Takedown (PlayStation 2)

Bad Boys: Miami Takedown review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 07, 2006

It doesn't take long to realize that Bad Boys is no mere game, but an abomination.
lasthero's avatar
Galaga (Xbox 360)

Galaga review (X360)

Reviewed on August 04, 2006

So it is that we come to a new question: though Galaga has ‘worked’ for many years, how does it fare on the Xbox 360? The answer is that it does quite well for itself, if you’re not expecting anything more than what the game has always been.
honestgamer's avatar

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