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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews

Garfield and His Nine Lives (Game Boy Advance)

Garfield and His Nine Lives review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

So, suppose you get almost to the end of the stage and you just can’t seem to get in a good position to kick that squirrel. He throws one acorn to many or a bird dive bombs you when you’re not expecting it and you take one hit more than your stamina can withstand. Garfield collapses to the ground and goes to sleep. That’s about as violent as the game ever gets, and what it really means in gamer terms is that you’ve just lost a life.
honestgamer's avatar
Jade Empire (Xbox)

Jade Empire review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

The teammate that tags along fails to help matters much; their only use on the battlefield is to draw opposition away from you while they get sliced to ribbons and inflict miserable damage -- even if this appears to be completely contradictory. Take Black Whirlwind, a huge muscle-bound psychopath who lives for mindless violence, a search for the perfect wine and bragging rights. The plot would have you believe that this shaved bear of a man is an unstoppable homicide factory, yet when it is time for his twin axes to be tested, you will often see him being smacked about by even the weakest of foes, leaving you alone to plough through targets unaided.
EmP's avatar
Civilization IV: Warlords (PC)

Civilization IV: Warlords review (PC)

Reviewed on August 16, 2006

When you get a warlord, you then get to decide which available unit you’d like to associate him with. So, let’s say you have a few groups of chariot-riding fiends. He can join them and their power will be boosted accordingly. But they’re hardly invincible, or else the game would be too imbalanced. No, they’re just the slightest bit stronger.
honestgamer's avatar
X-Men Legends (Xbox)

X-Men Legends review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 16, 2006

That’s the best thing about X-Men Legends; it totally discards any of that overbearing crap. There is a story, there are plot twists, but, ultimately, it’s about Magneto trying to dominate the world and the X-Men trying to stop him. The game establishes that and reminds you with the occasional cutscene, but it’s all business beyond that.
lasthero's avatar
Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light (PSP)

Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light review (PSP)

Reviewed on August 15, 2006

Head outside of a town and it’s more of the same, with green plains stretching as far as you can see toward featureless hills broken up only by the occasional tree or stone walkway. There’s also plenty of mist, and you’ll see enemies patrolling. There aren’t random battles in Blade Dancer, just scripted events and other confrontations that you can often avoid simply by running from floating enemy icons (sometimes they’ll even run from you if they’re particularly week).
honestgamer's avatar
FlatOut 2 (PC)

FlatOut 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on August 14, 2006

Scattered throughout each of the available tracks are alternate routes you can take if the mood strikes you. Plenty of games have done that before, but usually it’s just something along the lines of "go left around the big tree instead of right." There’s some of that here, but it’s not emphasized so much as it is simply snuck into place.
honestgamer's avatar
Zombi (Amiga)

Zombi review (AMIGA)

Reviewed on August 14, 2006

Just like every other right-thinking individual, I eagerly anticipate the day/night/nuclear winter when the infernal legions of darkness rise up from their graves in order to crush the living beneath their desiccated heels. Hence the most noteworthy thing about this game is that it’s essentially George Romero’s classic Dawn of the Dead adapted into a graphic adventure.
sho's avatar
Indigo Prophecy (PlayStation 2)

Indigo Prophecy review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 12, 2006

Sometimes making the wrong decision leads to a setback, a step missed along the way. Sometimes it leads into a side story you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, like a quaint night of ice-skating between two friends. Sometimes it leads to a game over. The roads diverge, cross, and one of Indigo Prophecy’s biggest appeals is that it encourages experimentation.
lasthero's avatar
Prey (Xbox 360)

Prey review (X360)

Reviewed on August 11, 2006

Prey's basic concept, which most players have seen five or six times before, is this: a reluctant hero has been sucked into battle against homicidal aliens! A mysterious, metallo-organic sphere hovers above the Earth, ripping entire chunks of the planet apart and dumping civilians into harvesting machines (reminiscent of War of the Worlds). With his girlfriend's life at stake, without any friends by his side, Cherokee Tommy — the hero — must creep his way through a bunch of linear levels to put an end to the alien menace.
zigfried's avatar
Restricted Area (PC)

Restricted Area review (PC)

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

Information exchanges hands like cash, body parts are put on the open market, and corporations hire mercenaries to do their bidding. As an outcast in an already downtrodden society, even you have signed your life away to the corporations with the slim hope of a brighter future.
pup's avatar
Silent Hill 4: The Room (Xbox)

Silent Hill 4: The Room review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

Know from the start that every glimpse of promise, every flicker of macabre brilliance and every fleeting second of spine-chilling horror will crash and burn, leaving only a lingering air of disappointment and wasted potential. Because from the second the game starts, so does its biggest flaw.
EmP's avatar
Pac-Man (Xbox 360)

Pac-Man review (X360)

Reviewed on August 09, 2006

Blinky is riding you like a cowboy on a bronco and you’re doomed if you don’t reach the side warp in time. Every millisecond counts. You round a bend and you need to head left for safety, so you press the button. What happens on-screen? Pac-Man moves down.
honestgamer's avatar
Snatcher (MSX)

Snatcher review (MSX)

Reviewed on August 09, 2006

Hideo Kojima’s SNATCHER is a kickass graphic adventure that’s best described as an inspired synthesis of “Blade Runner,” “Terminator,” and “Wacky Japanese Perverts on Parade.” Trapped in a futuristic city full of synthetic-skinned endoskeletons who murder humans in order to steal their identities, you’re the amnesiac investigator Gillian Seed who blows them away with his big manly gun. No doubt you’re already well aware of this thanks to the highly sought-after Sega CD port, but the MSX2 original is definitely worth checking out – particularly since it’s been completely translated into English.
sho's avatar
Monster House (PlayStation 2)

Monster House review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 07, 2006

The level design takes advantage of each character’s unique attributes. If you’re in control of Chowder, you can expect fewer enemies, yet battles that are every bit as tough because your adversaries can take a lot of damage and keep right on attacking. Jenny, meanwhile, is constantly swarmed by animated chairs and other menaces that will bite savagely into her life meter if she doesn’t keep moving wide of their assault.
honestgamer's avatar
Bad Boys: Miami Takedown (PlayStation 2)

Bad Boys: Miami Takedown review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 07, 2006

It doesn't take long to realize that Bad Boys is no mere game, but an abomination.
lasthero's avatar
Galaga (Xbox 360)

Galaga review (X360)

Reviewed on August 04, 2006

So it is that we come to a new question: though Galaga has ‘worked’ for many years, how does it fare on the Xbox 360? The answer is that it does quite well for itself, if you’re not expecting anything more than what the game has always been.
honestgamer's avatar
Exile (Genesis)

Exile review (GEN)

Reviewed on August 03, 2006

However, I soon realized that virtually everything had suddenly been reduced to nothing more than speed bumps. If an enemy hit me, I didn’t even flinch. My preferred boss strategy was simply to stand in front of the villain and hit the “attack” button as rapidly as I could until it perished. At some point in the game, Sadler learned magic. I never cast a single spell. I also didn’t bother purchasing the stat-enhancing items and only used a total of four healing goods (two during the final boss fight).
overdrive's avatar
R-Type (Game Boy)

R-Type review (GB)

Reviewed on August 03, 2006

There's no hand-holding, no cheap shortcuts, no easy rides. There is only a game's sadistic glee in the burning wreckage of a R9's mangled hull and a player's insatiable urge to right this wrong.
EmP's avatar
Grandia Xtreme (PlayStation 2)

Grandia Xtreme review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 01, 2006

Grandia faithfuls know that long dungeons aren't a problem with this series. Its Active Time Battle combat system is one of the best around, and Xtreme improves it.
lasthero's avatar
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Atari 2600)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 30, 2006

The review you are about to see is an account of the tragedy inflicted by the developer Wizard Games. It is all the more tragic that they were very young. But, had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected nor would they have wished to release as much of the crappy and lame as they were to release that day. For them an idyllic console game became a nightmare.
The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
sho's avatar

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