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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (DS)

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties review (DS)

Reviewed on October 23, 2006

As it turns out, Garfield is something of a wuss. He doesnít have any attack, unless you count the few moments when you must blow into the DS microphone to let out a loud meow. This is good for scaring off pigeons, waking bats or fooling around with empty suits of armor, but it wonít do much against his enemies.
honestgamer's avatar
Noddy: A Day in Toyland (Game Boy Advance)

Noddy: A Day in Toyland review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 22, 2006

As Noddy strolls through the scenic locations in the gameówhich often include town streets, houses and finally a foreboding goblin forestóheíll sometimes encounter threats to his life meter. These villainous creatures are never all that frightening, with the possible exception of the zombies that suddenly pop out of the soil at inopportune moments.
honestgamer's avatar
Franklin the Turtle: Franklin's Great Adventures (DS)

Franklin the Turtle: Franklin's Great Adventures review (DS)

Reviewed on October 21, 2006

Pressing the ĎRí button will allow you to switch between the two available characters, who have different skills youíll need to utilize. If you come across a wide body of water, that means the beaver is your buddy at that particular moment. He can dive into the watery depths and, while avoiding contact with fish, work his way through to a switch of some sort or another that will present Franklin with the means to proceed.
honestgamer's avatar
Puyo Puyo DA! (Dreamcast)

Puyo Puyo DA! review (DC)

Reviewed on October 20, 2006

As much as I enjoy the atmosphere, this game isn't going to create any new fans. The characters' behavior is amusing only because I already know how they're supposed to act. Without any dialogue or actual character-to-character interaction, Puyo Puyo Da fails to internally flesh out anything.
zigfried's avatar
Gothic 3 (PC)

Gothic 3 review (PC)

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

It is up to you to chose a realistic path to tred; there are no clear-cut moral walkways that will guide you through the ravaged lands of Myrtana. Join the bandits, join the orcs or play both sides off against the other. You can even ignore them both -- until late in the game, you are free to use the factions in anyway you please.
EmP's avatar
Veggie Tales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple (Game Boy Advance)

Veggie Tales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

LarryBoy and the Bad Apple is a game and needed to find some way to challenge players without forcing them into the evils of mindless slaughter. It found the solution to this quandary in the form of a time limit system. You donít die. Instead, youíre slowed by hazards like errant basketballs (in one early boss encounter that will remind you of Donkey Kong) or vegetables that have given into the Bad Appleís wicked ways.
honestgamer's avatar
I, Damiano (PC)

I, Damiano review (PC)

Reviewed on October 14, 2006

Somewhere in the midst of all this frivolity are cheery themes like wholesale genocide, illicit sex, and an epidemic of the Black Death; this is of course followed by folk dancing, because Damiano is a very complex individual.
sho's avatar
Gokuraku! Chuka Taisen (TurboGrafx-16)

Gokuraku! Chuka Taisen review (TG16)

Reviewed on October 13, 2006

Yes, hero-boyís steed of choice as he enters the fray is a cloud. Now, if I was a mythological Chinese hero, Iíd prefer riding into battle on one of those cool-looking dragons those nutty folks are always worshipping or whatever, but to each his own, I guess.
overdrive's avatar
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (NES)

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review (NES)

Reviewed on October 11, 2006

Everyone recognizes the gaming brilliance that is Castlevania III Ė which is why Iím not going to bother reviewing it.
sho's avatar
Tsuki ~Possession~ (PC)

Tsuki ~Possession~ review (PC)

Reviewed on October 11, 2006

No one, and I repeat, no one said anything about urine, adult diapers, or enemas and their *ahem* forceful outbursts.
pup's avatar
Caesar IV (PC)

Caesar IV review (PC)

Reviewed on October 09, 2006

If Caesar IV is better because it focuses on the smaller details, then itís also true that itís better because it forces you to do the same. You have to worry more about things like hygiene now. More importantly, you understand why that is in a tangible sense. When you neglect the bath houses, youíll see filth spreading through your city.
honestgamer's avatar
Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventure (Game Boy Advance)

Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventure review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 09, 2006

You'll jump a lot of gates in Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventures.
EmP's avatar
Just Cause (PlayStation 2)

Just Cause review (PS2)

Reviewed on October 05, 2006

When all these elements come together, you might actually be fooled into thinking Just Cause is a decent game. Don't. All is not what it seems.
lasthero's avatar
Parasite Eve (PlayStation)

Parasite Eve review (PSX)

Reviewed on October 05, 2006

The main problem is that whenever Aya gets into a fight, the game has to load in the monsters, which takes a couple of seconds. During this time, the screen freezes and turns gray, essentially screaming, ďHey stupid! You are going to be in a fight. Gird those loins and start shooting!Ē
overdrive's avatar
Haunted Castle (Arcade)

Haunted Castle review (ARC)

Reviewed on October 03, 2006

Donít hate Haunted Castle just because there arenít any candles to whip, the sub-weapons are totally lame, and Simon has blue hair. That would be silly. No, you should hate it because itís a sadistic monster that feeds off your suffering (and pocket change).
sho's avatar
Enzai: Falsely Accused (PC)

Enzai: Falsely Accused review (PC)

Reviewed on October 01, 2006

I definitely enjoyed my time with Enzai. I actually played through every scenario and bled the story dry, because the dialogue and characters were so well-conceived. However, it's . . . embarrassing. It's a game where the hero gets raped over and over. By guys.
zigfried's avatar
Cooking Mama (DS)

Cooking Mama review (DS)

Reviewed on October 01, 2006

All that Cooking Mama has to offer is cooking, cooking, and more routine cooking. The only real goal is to get perfect 100ís, but even then, the reward is yet another dish that utilizes the same cooking techniques and a little gold medal.
pup's avatar
Amped 3 (Xbox 360)

Amped 3 review (X360)

Reviewed on September 30, 2006

You'll also find yourself hired by a Canadian sock-puppet to hunt down a yeti. After being filled in by your odd employer (who uses a sock puppet of his very own to characterise the yeti!) you'll have to chase the abominable snowman down a particularly treacherous slope, outscoring him as he pulls mad tricks on his own snowboard to secure his capture. He'll backflip off an icy ramp and land precariously on a rail which he'll grind down, popping off stunts as he goes. Do the same or be shown up by the missing link!
EmP's avatar
Mega Man X: Command Mission (GameCube)

Mega Man X: Command Mission review (GCN)

Reviewed on September 30, 2006

This isnít the first Mega Man RPG, but it is the first Mega Man RPG that hasnít used weird some weird card system or had grids to move around on or wasnít a blatant Pokťmon knockoff. In Command Mission you play as X, robot fighter extraordinaire, hunter of the rogue reploids known as Mavericks. If youíve been playing Mega Man X games for a while, you probably have this history memorized; from what I can tell, itís just a continuation of the main series. I wouldnít know because, again, Iím not good at the games and havenít dug deep into the storyline. And, again, I donít really need to. Command Missionís plot is extremely linear and self-contained.
lasthero's avatar
Streets of Rage 2 (Genesis)

Streets of Rage 2 review (GEN)

Reviewed on September 29, 2006

And make no mistake ó losing the services of Adam was such a crushing blow to comrades Axel and Blaze that they needed to enlist TWO other vigilante crime fighters in an attempt to replace him. Skate is a skateboarder who Iíve never used or even considered using. Just look at the little pipsqueak and youíll understand. Max is a big, powerful guy who suffers from being the slowest-moving human being in the world. Sure, he can wade through Mr. Xís foot soldiers with ease, littering the city streets with broken bodies and shattered dreams, but put him against nimble, agile foes and things get ugly.
overdrive's avatar

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